cyabye Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 I mostly post replies here instead of questions. I choose not to post my story as I 've been exhausted for over a year and received most of my answers by reading similar circumstances here. Out of the blue I talked with the ex after our daughter's activity today. I usually say nothing to her. Somehow we got on the subject of the past...I know DOH! She just said she wasn't happy. But I can tell she is really happy now...NOT. She has trouble paying her bills, lost lots of weight, smokes like a chimney, states she is sooooo stressed out but yet she says she made the right decision. Stated this to me after she told me about her money problems (paying rent late, paying the light bill the day before it's turned off etc.) She's the one who initated the separation (again). She took my kids and left one night while I was at work and drove to her mothers 500 miles away. Came home to a note (crappy one at that). She's had multiple PA's and who knows how many EA's while we were married. She left more times than I care to post (embarrasing). What's the deal with her? Will she ever learn that I stopped taking ANY responsibility for the relationship the day she bailed w/o me knowing? Is she just trying to play my sympathy and want more money? At times I'm like a rock but this bothered me today. Thanks, c'ya-bye! Link to post Share on other sites
webmuse Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 Sounds like she's missing her meal ticket.. but that's just my opinion, and I am a little jaded lately Link to post Share on other sites
mark982 Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 she's realising it's tough in the real world. Link to post Share on other sites
LovieDove24 Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 She is a narcissistic beeotch plain and simple. Also she has no idea how to be happy. She believes running into the arms of other men, or hell, just plain running away will buy her happiness. She can paint a smile on her face now all she wants, but no one who is constantly late on their rent, smoking like a chimney and feels constant stress is happy at their core. The whole problem with your relationship was that she had no internal happiness. She probably complained it was your fault, but NO ONE should take the blame for that. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 She's yet to learn the lessons that "Mr. Reality" has to teach her, in that we're each in and of ourselves responsible for our own way in life and for our own happiness. Ourselves and no one else. Before you can truly love someone else, you've got to love yourself. Before you can be truly happy with someone else you've got to learn to be happy with yourself and by your lonesome. My main soapbox issues are that at no point in the educational system are we taught inter-personal relationship skills nor personal finance skills. Were it within my ability to do so, I would pass laws that state: No one can get married before the age of twenty six That you must have mandatory pre-marriage and personal finance classes / counseling for one solid year before getting married. That you couldn't get married unless you could prove you've got a minimum of one years income saved up in the bank, along with enough money to meet "known" expenses (Car repairs, car maintenance, property taxes, etc) Marriage would be a five year contract ~ with an option to re-knew. I wouldn't give her a dime unless it was for the children benefit, and if I did it wouldn't be over and above the child support. If she needed money for more than that, I would pay the bill not give her money ~ all the while seeking full custody ~ as she obviously puts her smoking habit before paying the light bills, rent, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Why are you even talking to the damn idiot. if it aint about the kids you aint got nothing to say, did you get 50/50 custody, have you seen a lawyer? I mean if you think about it. your better off because she has too many issues that has nothing to do with you. Trust your better off. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cyabye Posted May 9, 2009 Author Share Posted May 9, 2009 Yes, absolutely I am better off. I know this. I give her no more than we agreed in CS. We have 50/50 custody with her as the domicile parent. I have liberal visitation. Everything is amicable as I will NOT tolerate the lawyer threats BS. I've been through this before many times with her and I know what needs to be done. It was my fault for staying to talk instead of leaving like I should have. It turned into a right and wrong argument about the past and I had enough and left. It's sad really as she hasn't learned a darn thing this past year of separation. I on the other hand am doing great and looking to start school soon in addition to a new job where I think I would be happier. I have my own place (and a dog) and I am very comfortable. I work an aweful lot but it keeps me busy. As long as I stay away and do not communicate with her I am fine. I have No desire for any sort of relationship with this woman. I only communicate for the kids. One day, for my children's sake, I hope she changes for the better. But I am not much of an optimist when it comes to her. Thanks, C'ya-bye! Link to post Share on other sites
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