tami-chan Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 First off I doubt the good Doctor will want custody, it's kind of hard to juggle a blossoming medical career and kids. One thing I will advise you about though, in your quest for "Nuclear Exposure" you need to tread carefully lest you damage her ability to build her practice, such damage could bite you in the rump fiscally. Also, I know a whole lot about MD's, a goodly percentage of them are intently brillant along with that brillance in many cases comes Bipolar disorder.hypomania is how a good many of them make it thru the grueling years of school and residency and leads more than a handful of them to other excesses and lapses in judgement such as sexual indiscretions. Really. Interesting. I know quite a few doctors, too...quite a few believe in their own hype, a sense of self-importance....but bipolar? you have to be even keeled to be successful and sustain/maintain that success in your field, jmho. But you could be on to something...hypomania...hmmmm... Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Also, I know a whole lot about MD's, a goodly percentage of them are intently brillant along with that brillance in many cases comes Bipolar disorder.hypomania is how a good many of them make it thru the grueling years of school and residency and leads more than a handful of them to other excesses and lapses in judgement such as sexual indiscretions. I agree. A relative is dating a surgeon - has been for 11 years - and you can chart his cycling through depression and mania. I tend to think that if it weren't for the manic phases, our hospitals would be understaffed. Bipolar folks can and are very even keeled people when they also engage their smarts. Its the uneducated ones that tend to get all the press. Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Really. Interesting. I know quite a few doctors, too...quite a few believe in their own hype, a sense of self-importance....but bipolar? you have to be even keeled to be successful and sustain/maintain that success in your field, jmho. But you could be on to something...hypomania...hmmmm... It's called riding the razor's edge, when you're hypomanic you can stay awake for hours, reading, writing papers, in the lab doing research, you can handle 100 hours a week doing a medical residency. Some brilliant work, some astounding discoveries happen then. The trick is to not let the mania go too far, Doctor's look out for other Doctor's and MD's have been treated on the quiet for decades. A really bright person with hypomania will have energy, charm, they'll have and be open to new concepts, they are highly engaging, the movers and shakers of the world. Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 I agree. A relative is dating a surgeon - has been for 11 years - and you can chart his cycling through depression and mania. I tend to think that if it weren't for the manic phases, our hospitals would be understaffed. Bipolar folks can and are very even keeled people when they also engage their smarts. Its the uneducated ones that tend to get all the press. Surgeons? Meh.. glorified auto mechanics, except for neuro surgeons who sit at the right hand of the father and who are so bright that they aren't like mere mortals. Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 I agree. A relative is dating a surgeon - has been for 11 years - and you can chart his cycling through depression and mania. I tend to think that if it weren't for the manic phases, our hospitals would be understaffed. Bipolar folks can and are very even keeled people when they also engage their smarts. Its the uneducated ones that tend to get all the press. One of the characteristics of BP disorder-hypomania: "that they tend to overestimate their capabilities and fail to see the obvious risks involved in their ventures." Difficult to imagine anyone sustaining/maintaining level of excellence with that....sooner or later something will give... of course Bipolar Disorder can be managed... But I agree many brilliant people(artists, scientists, etc.) who are bipolar, but for scientists to sustain it...I don't know... It's different for artists...some of them produce their best arts in their manic or depressed states. Thus the controversy over the medications ( which to many curtail their creativity)--Can you imagine what would have happened to Vincent Van Gogh if he was medicated? Well, for one he might not have lost his ear.... Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Surgeons? Meh.. glorified auto mechanics, except for neuro surgeons who sit at the right hand of the father and who are so bright that they aren't like mere mortals. LOL...glorified auto mechanics....! heart surgeons, too? Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 It's called riding the razor's edge, when you're hypomanic you can stay awake for hours, reading, writing papers, in the lab doing research, you can handle 100 hours a week doing a medical residency. Some brilliant work, some astounding discoveries happen then. The trick is to not let the mania go too far, Doctor's look out for other Doctor's and MD's have been treated on the quiet for decades. A really bright person with hypomania will have energy, charm, they'll have and be open to new concepts, they are highly engaging, the movers and shakers of the world. Really...I didnt know that. .. Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 One of the characteristics of BP disorder-hypomania: "that they tend to overestimate their capabilities and fail to see the obvious risks involved in their ventures." Difficult to imagine anyone sustaining/maintaining level of excellence with that....sooner or later something will give... of course Bipolar Disorder can be managed... But I agree many brilliant people(artists, scientists, etc.) who are bipolar, but for scientists to sustain it...I don't know... It's different for artists...some of them produce their best arts in their manic or depressed states. Thus the controversy over the medications ( which to many curtail their creativity)--Can you imagine what would have happened to Vincent Van Gogh if he was medicated? Well, for one he might not have lost his ear.... The medical community closes ranks to protect their own, MD's of all stripes have been treated on the quiet for decades. Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 The medical community closes ranks to protect their own, MD's of all stripes have been treated on the quiet for decades. Ohhh...I didn't know that...thanks. I learn something new everyday... Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 LOL...glorified auto mechanics....! heart surgeons, too? IMHO, the most brilliant, most skilled Clinicians are those, who don't just look at a patient but who fully "see" him/her,to take in and assemble the small clues in front of you as well as teasing out important details from the HX, a skilled diagnostician is worth his/her weight in gold. Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Ohhh...I didn't know that...thanks. I learn something new everyday... As it is recognized that a good many psychiatric disorders are biologically based illnesses, treatment options have greatly increased along with public knowledge and acceptance. Many professionals form a circle of trusted advisors, people close to them who's judgment they respect, people who will advise them when it appears their medication may need to be adjusted or when they perhaps need to go in for a "tune up" The illness can be quite managable and a brillant career conducted. Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 As it is recognized that a good many psychiatric disorders are biologically based illnesses, treatment options have greatly increased along with public knowledge and acceptance. Many professionals form a circle of trusted advisors, people close to them who's judgment they respect, people who will advise them when it appears their medication may need to be adjusted or when they perhaps need to go in for a "tune up" The illness can be quite managable and a brillant career conducted. LOL...ohhh..ok. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Surgeons? Meh.. glorified auto mechanics, except for neuro surgeons who sit at the right hand of the father and who are so bright that they aren't like mere mortals. How'd you know he was a neuro surgeon?! He definitely thinks he isn't mortal. Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 How'd you know he was a neuro surgeon?! He definitely thinks he isn't mortal. Actually most of em aren't, they think on a different plane, set apart, even from their MD peers in other specialties. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Actually most of em aren't, they think on a different plane, set apart, even from their MD peers in other specialties. It doesn't help that he's from another country, too. He really cycles through depression 1 to depression 2 alot. He's either a lot depressed and sleeps alot, or a little depressed and hardly sleeps at all. <end threadjack> Link to post Share on other sites
Author DNU1 Posted May 16, 2009 Author Share Posted May 16, 2009 How did a neighbor find out about your wife screwing around? I had a conversation with one of my neighbor friends about two weeks ago. He mentioned a business opportunity to me, something I do on the side. After D-papers served I spoke with him briefly and asked about the business opportunity, saying I'd be needing some income (remember, stay @ home dad), and he asked why. I stated that I served her with d-papers because of infidelity. I asked him to keep under his hat. A close friend on the block has heard my story. I asked him to let his wife know, but to keep quiet. Wife meeting with attorney (still doesn't have one on retainer as of today), said all I can say is "served her with divorce papers" because we are a "no-fault" state. So I called all whom I spoke to and asked them to please say only that I served her with D-papers. But the cat was probably already out of the bag. It's interesting she is making assumptions as to who has been spreading the word, and is mad at that person. STBxWW is displacing her anger on another person. The root cause of any rumors/truth that is spread around the neighborhood are my STBxWWs actions. Link to post Share on other sites
Reggie Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 WHo gives a rat's ass if she is pissed and if word gets out. I would not hide the cheating from anyone. It is what it is. It's reality. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DNU1 Posted May 16, 2009 Author Share Posted May 16, 2009 WHo gives a rat's ass if she is pissed and if word gets out. I would not hide the cheating from anyone. It is what it is. It's reality. That was my initial thoughts...however, my attorney said I don't want to come off looking like the bitter, trash talking betrayed spouse. So he said put a lid on it. Just say "I served her divorce papers." I'm sure the rumors are flying around... Nothing I can do about that... Link to post Share on other sites
Reggie Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Listen to your lawyer, then. But, don't feel bad about having disclosed it to some extent already. My XWW is pissed as hell that I told anyone. WTF am I just supposed to stuff my feelings and pain? I could not care less about her reputation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DNU1 Posted May 16, 2009 Author Share Posted May 16, 2009 Listen to your lawyer, then. But, don't feel bad about having disclosed it to some extent already. My XWW is pissed as hell that I told anyone. WTF am I just supposed to stuff my feelings and pain? I could not care less about her reputation. Yep, what attorney says goes...for now. From what I understand when this is all said and done I will be free to broadcast to the world the truth. That is unless it's part of the settlement We shall see. Working at the University for a gazillion years, I learned what I can and cannot say and worked with lots of lawyers. Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 WHo gives a rat's ass if she is pissed and if word gets out. I would not hide the cheating from anyone. It is what it is. It's reality. He'll give a "rat's ass" if he taints her reputation so badly that she can't build a lucrative practice. He's a stay at home father, he needs to think about not only immediate fiscal concerns but also about things like college for the kids. He wants the STBX out there bringing in the big bucks. Also DNU1, something to think about, while house husbands are becoming more common they are still rare enough, you need to be careful about how much nuclear exposure you engage in, as things stand, you'll be viewed as that noble single father, doing his level best to parent his kids after his no good biatch wife ran off as soon as she started practicing medicine. People with have a lot of empathy and support for you... if you go too far overboard on trashing her though, that could back fire on you, particularly if she honors her fiscal obligations and remains involved with her children. Link to post Share on other sites
Reggie Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 I would not trash her. And, I did not think of the killing the golden goose issue, so serious raises. I am skeptical as to whether a history of infidelity would really impact the job market or ability to patients in this day and age. But, why risk it. If you need to talk about it, though, find some good friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DNU1 Posted May 17, 2009 Author Share Posted May 17, 2009 Thanks serious and reggie. I like to play by the rules, by the book, etc. Honor means a LOT to me. If she's up front with me and we can work out a good agreement / settlement then I'm happy to shut my pie-hole and say, "we got a divorce...nuff said" and leave it at that. If she's playing me right now, still in cahoots with OM#4 and trying to sweet talk me or play me in to a less than agreeable settlement...well, that ain't cool. Link to post Share on other sites
z1850 Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Why don't you use a semen detection kit, like the InSite kit for example? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DNU1 Posted May 19, 2009 Author Share Posted May 19, 2009 Wife has attorney. STBxWW and i have agreed on child custody and parenting plan. We are gathering all our financial stuff to hand to attorneys. Wife even talked about child support and alimony coming my way. Progress. Now if I could just sleep through the night... Link to post Share on other sites
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