DDay#3...OM#4...Devestation

[taylor]

I really feel for you. Now that you know what everything is or means, How do you feel about it? Betrayal? Cheated out of a normal home life? Angry? Don't misconstrue my questions as an attack, because that's not what it is.

 

Darth,

 

I will be totally honest with you here. And let me preface this by saying that every child of divorce and infidelity has his own story and his own perspective based on his own unique history. This is mine.

 

My parents never should have gotten married. They worked together, dated six months and got married. My mom was a homebody with strong family ties. My father was a free spirit and very outgoing. Their differences attracted one to the other. While those differences sparked an attraction, they also caused the marriage to slowly break apart for 12 long years.

 

Neither parent was getting needs met from the very beginning. Dad was a socialite and very active in sports. He wanted to go out. He needed a companion by his side. Someone to do activities with. Someone to sit in the bleachers and cheer him on. Mom catered to her children. She needed a family man..one who doted on the kids and was content hanging around the house.

 

They grew apart. He focused on his job and outside activities with friends. Mom sat at home with the kids..cooking and baking.

 

And then the fights started. About everything...Time, Attention, Affection, Finances.

 

The fights always started after us kids went to bed but we could hear everything. I cried with a pillow over my head every night for years.

 

Mom would take us away to stay with relatives in the summer just to get away from the fighting. We wouldn't see dad for months at a time.

 

ANd when we were home it was like walking on eggshells. My parents would go 2 and 3 months at a time not saying one word to each other. They would use us kids to "talk" to each other.

 

And then came the long nights when mom would wait up for dad and he would come in with a "working late" excuse...ANd then the day came when the affair was discovered. Dad was never to enter the house again. Within a year, he married the OW.

 

So, how do I feel about the betrayal...you ask.

 

When I grew up, and after I was married, my father apologized for the nightmare of a childhood us kids had and he apologized for the affair, sorry he had hurt my mother the way he did.

 

I told him how mom and us kids went thru hell after he left. And I told him how much it hurt me to see how the affair destroyed my mother.

 

But I told him he did not need to apologize to me for his affair. I told him I was glad it happened because the divorce was THE BEST thing that could have happened to us. ALL of our lives changed for the better because of it.

 

I don't think my parents ever would have divorced had my father not had an affair. I think they would have wallowed in the misery for another 10 years or more.

 

My father went on to live a VERY HAPPY life with the OW until his death last year. I am so thankful he found real happiness, even though it came from an affair.

 

My mother never remarried but her life became so much more peaceful and content after the divorce. I know the affair permanently scarred her, though, as did the entire marriage. She married the wrong kind of man and she knew it. She should have got out a lot sooner. BTW, my mom is my best friend and if there was anyway I could have taken this painful marriage and the betrayal from her, I would have. It hurts me that she was hurt the way she was. She has been the best mother a kid could ask for. ANd even my dad would agree with that.

 

But I will not put 100 percent blame on my dad for anything. It was a horrible marriage from the get go and they were both to blame. Like I said, they never should have gotten married in the first place.

 

So, you see, Darth, I was never cheated out of a normal home life because of the affair. I never had a normal home life because my parent's marriage FOR YEARS BEFORE THE AFFAIR was horrible and all of us kids felt the effects of that bad marriage....not just the affair. The affair just marked THE END of the misery.

 

 

I never said anywhere that her children wouldn't still love her, oh, they'll love her and still have hate somewhere for her because of what she did to them and their father.

 

Maybe they will find room for hate in their heart toward their mother. I never had hate for my father. I pitied both my mother and father for the misery they put upon each other while they were married. They both found greater happiness after the affair/divorce and for that I am thankful.

 

 

And don't give me the Judging lecture Bullcrap! It doesn't work with me! People only say that to cover their own ass so they don't have to take any responsibility for their actions! Nice try!

 

I don't think children do judge their parents. They only want to love them and be loved by them.

 

 

 

 

Oh, and she not only wronged her husband, but, she also wronged her children as well, that's often overlooked as well. Don't believe me, well, the children get to be shuttled from house to house for how many years now for something they had no control over? Of course, that is the end result as well.........

 

Kids get shuttled from house to house in any divorce, Darth. You don't have to have an affair for that to happen. The thing is this marriage has been bad for nearly a decade. It wasn't that it was good and then all of a sudden there was an affair that made it bad and will now result in kids being shuttled house to house. The divorce is the result of a bad marriage, not just the result of an affair.

[taylor]

again, my kids are too young...and I won't tell unless they ask.

 

So if they are of teenage years, and they come to me and ask me what happened, I'll have to say..."well, you mother spread her legs for a few different men while married to me.......now if thats all the questions you have, I need to get back to mowing the yard.":cool:

 

And what will you say when they ask you WHY she did this?

 

And what will your wife say when they ask her WHY she did this?

 

And what will you and your wife say when your children say, "People who have good marriages and who love each other don't have affairs. If your marriage was good and you both loved each other, how could this happen?"

 

You won't get to mow your yard because your one-line answer won't satisfy them. They'll want to know more.

[Reggie]

Yes, but a divorce with an affair doesmore damage to kids because it teaches them it is okay to lie. And, it is important for kids to learn that bad behavior, like an affair, has consequences.

No one is suggesting that kids of an alcoholic be asked to hold any puke buckets or bring dad home from the bar.

My dad would drive around with me as a 7 year old in the car stopping at every tavern, and puking out the open car door while he drove. This was a regular occurence and , until it was explained to me that he was an alcoholic, I just thought this was normal behavior for all adults.

Along those lines, I did not want mykids to think it was normal for a wife to simply move out and move a guy in with her, someone they knew nothing about.

I think that the kids would resent it , when they find out the truth, if all this is kept from them in the name of protecting them. No disclosure is enabling and it is not good for the kids to see their mom do this and simply walk away unscathed. Actions have consequences.

[Reggie]

And what will you say when they ask you WHY she did this?

 

And what will your wife say when they ask her WHY she did this?

 

And what will you and your wife say when your children say, "People who have good marriages and who love each other don't have affairs. If your marriage was good and you both loved each other, how could this happen?"

 

You won't get to mow your yard because your one-line answer won't satisfy them. They'll want to know more.

 

I don't see how a BS can explain the reasons the WS decided to cheat.

And, it is evident by her choice to cheat that she did not love him. So, if the kids say this about love and good marriages, the answer is simple. The cheater did not love the BS.

[taylor]

Clearly, it takes only one person to make a marriage fail.

 

I think many marriages limp along for a long time, dying a slow death, before an affair puts it out of its misery.

 

This OP's marriage is like a sequel to "Night of the Living Dead."

 

When I say it takes two to make a marriage fail, I don't mean 2 people necessarily did something bad or wrong to make the marriage fail.

 

Sometimes people just grow apart and their needs change and no matter how hard a person works his tail off, he can no longer meet that other person's needs any longer.

 

I think this happens especially with young couples who marry. They can meet each other's needs when they are both 19 but as they grow and change into adulthood, they evolve into completely different people with needs that can no longer be met by the other..no matter how hard they both try. THEY BOTH FAIL at the marriage, whether they want to or not.

 

I think this also happens in long term marriages. People who married at 25 are not the same as they are at 55. One or both may have different needs and desires that the other just can't meet any longer because they have evolved into different people...less compatible now than they were 30 years ago. They can both try their hardest to meet the other one's needs, but in the end, they can fail, because they just don't have the ability to any longer.

 

Just because a person is TRYING does not mean he is not FAILING.

 

The OP says many times how he worked his tail off to meet his wife's needs. And then in the next statement he says he realizes he wasn't meeting her needs.

 

Well, which is it? Was he meeting her needs or not? It is possible he was working his tail off but still failing to meet her needs, albeit not thru lack of effort.

 

A person who comes in 2nd in a marathon race FAILS to win, despite the effort.

 

A person whose marriage ends in divorce FAILS to hold the marriage together, despite the effort.

 

This is the blameless way to look at a slowly deteriorating marriage.

 

Blame the wife all you want for lack of effort. I still think it boils down to her falling out of love with him years ago...hence, she stopped putting in effort. If you want to crucify her for falling out of love, thus, failing the marriage, so be it. All this happened way before the affairs, IMO.

 

The OP put up a gallant effort to re-engage his wife in the marriage, but you can't make someone fall in love with you, no matte how hard you try.

 

I feel sorry for him. He should have left this marriage years ago.

[taylor]

I don't see how a BS can explain the reasons the WS decided to cheat.

And, it is evident by her choice to cheat that she did not love him. So, if the kids say this about love and good marriages, the answer is simple. The cheater did not love the BS.

 

And this is my point, Reggie. THIS is what the children need to know...that mommy doesn't love daddy anymore. She has found someone else who she is happier with and wants to be with. When we divorce, daddy can find someone new who will love him and who he can be happier with, too. Period.

 

They don't need the sexcapades details.

[taylor]

Yes, but a divorce with an affair doesmore damage to kids because it teaches them it is okay to lie. And, it is important for kids to learn that bad behavior, like an affair, has consequences.

 

 

My father's affair did not teach me it's OK to lie.

 

The main lesson I learned from my parent's marriage, the affair, and the divorce is this:

 

If you are in an unhappy marriage that is emotionally abusing your children be strong enough and love them enough to GET OUT. Because every day you stay in a bad marriage is yet another day you are hurting your kids.

 

My father's affair did not scar me anywhere near as much as all the fighting and discord in the house that took place for 10 years prior to the affair.

 

And I don't doubt that is how it is in many households where there are bad marriages followed by an affair.

 

The minute an affair happens everyone jumps up wondering how hurt the kids are going to be by it all. Does anyone ever stop and wonder how hurt the kids already are by the marital discord in the house...discord that could have been going on for YEARS.

 

I will bet for some kids, divorce comes as a welcome relief. Perhaps they don't see it that way at the time, but when they look back at it as adults, they do.

[Reggie]

Taylor, it is just fine if people fall out of love, grow apart, whatever. I think failure is the wrong word, as it implies there was something that could have been done about it which is not true in some cases.

No one is crucifying the wife for falling out of love. But, to steal years from another person's life by lying to him both about her feelings and her activities is deplorable and cruel.

There is much written about the lessons kids learn from infidelity and its effect on them. The damage centers around the message that subtrfuge is okay.

I am glad, in your particular case, your dad's cheating did not make you feel lying is alright and that you did not follow his path into that type of behavior. But, it is well documented that children of cheaters are way more likely to cheat themselves and that they view lying differently than children of non-cheaters.

[Dexter Morgan]

And what will you say when they ask you WHY she did this?

 

I'll tell them to ask her and that I'm sure she'll try to tell them that she was missing something in the marriage. the only thing she was missing is that I wasn't someone different from month to month. I wasn't a new face to f##k.

 

 

And what will your wife say when they ask her WHY she did this?

 

 

she can say whatever she wants. If my boys are smart, they'll realize that she is just excusing her cheating.

 

 

And what will you and your wife say when your children say, "People who have good marriages and who love each other don't have affairs. If your marriage was good and you both loved each other, how could this happen?"

 

I'll say, "ask your mother....I'm not a cheater".

[Dexter Morgan]

Taylor, it is just fine if people fall out of love, grow apart, whatever. I think failure is the wrong word, as it implies there was something that could have been done about it which is not true in some cases.

No one is crucifying the wife for falling out of love. But, to steal years from another person's life by lying to him both about her feelings and her activities is deplorable and cruel.

 

Yup, she could have had the tits to tell me before we were married that she cheated when my engagement ring was on her finger...or she could have at least told me when she cheated within the first year...or the 3rd...or the 4th, 6th, or 8th.

 

If she had fallen out of love...well gee, why not tell me so I could have gotten rid of her sooner rather than waste 8 years of my life?

[Dexter Morgan]

[/u]

She has found someone else who she is happier with and wants to be with. When we divorce, daddy can find someone new who will love him and who he can be happier with, too. Period.

 

Hey, works for me...that still lets them know that their mother cheated.

 

as far as finding someone she is happier with....I hope getting punched in the eye is her idea of happiness.

[Dexter Morgan]

Ok, enough T/J:)

[taylor]

Taylor, it is just fine if people fall out of love, grow apart, whatever. I think failure is the wrong word, as it implies there was something that could have been done about it which is not true in some cases.

No one is crucifying the wife for falling out of love. But, to steal years from another person's life by lying to him both about her feelings and her activities is deplorable and cruel.

There is much written about the lessons kids learn from infidelity and its effect on them. The damage centers around the message that subtrfuge is okay.

I am glad, in your particular case, your dad's cheating did not make you feel lying is alright and that you did not follow his path into that type of behavior. But, it is well documented that children of cheaters are way more likely to cheat themselves and that they view lying differently than children of non-cheaters.

 

Reggie,

 

I will take your word on this. Parents do set the most important example for their children. Children learn to either follow or reject that example.

 

And you are right, the word "FAILURE" may imply more than I meant it to.

 

A father, like the OP, who stays home with his children, is a rare breed. I may be a bit old-fashioned in my thinking, but I think it is more difficult for men to do this than women because men are not wired to be as nurturing and patient as women when it comes to the day to day of child care.

 

So I commend any man who does this. It can't be easy.

 

And while the OP was caring for his children, his wife was screwing around at work and wherever else. He joins the ranks of many SAHM's whose husbands run around on them, carefree and with wreckless abandon.

 

His only true failure was not recognizing when this marriage really ended..a long time ago, and getting out when the writing was on the wall.

 

I pray that his divorce is quick and as pain-free as possible. He's been thru enough.

[taylor]

Yup, she could have had the tits to tell me before we were married that she cheated when my engagement ring was on her finger...or she could have at least told me when she cheated within the first year...or the 3rd...or the 4th, 6th, or 8th.

 

If she had fallen out of love...well gee, why not tell me so I could have gotten rid of her sooner rather than waste 8 years of my life?

 

Yes, this IS the $64,000 question. Why didn't she open her mouth and tell you?

 

I think the same is true for the OP, regarding his wife. You can't have affairs with 4 men and still believe you love your husband.

 

But why not tell him? Instead of telling him, she just keeps "dropping hints" (having affairs) that she no longer loves him.

 

The OP's wife also has a huge sense of entitlement. As a WS myself, I don't throw that word around lightly, but in this case, I can see it as plain as day.

 

If the OP can't make her happy, she feels entitled to affair #1, #2, #3, and now #4. The thing is the OP will never make her happy because she just doesn't love him.

 

If she can't be straightforward and admit this to him face-to-face, then he is going to have to draw the conclusion on his own, based on her very obvious actions.

 

But you are right, Dex, why waste years of another person's life pretending to love them when you don't. Those are years that person will never get back. You steal every opportunity for them to be happy with someone else. If you KNOW you can't love someone the way they deserve to be loved..you know you can't be happy with them...get out. Love them ENOUGH to get out.

 

FWIW, I had to ask myself this very same question after my EA...whether I loved my husband enough to be happy in a marriage with him. I had to be sure, because I did not want to pretend, and I did not want to waste his time being with someone who couldn't love him enough. Had I had one doubt that I could ever love my husband again, I would have left the marriage and given him an opportunity to find someone who could love him the way he deserved.

[DNU1]

Judge signed the ex parte, meaning I have temp custody of the kids. He would not, however, grant me custody of the house. So she gets to move back in until the temp hearing next Friday. At that point my attorney believes I will get custody of the house.

 

I expect her back here around 3:30 PM.

 

The plot thickens...

[seibert253]

Judge signed the ex parte, meaning I have temp custody of the kids. He would not, however, grant me custody of the house. So she gets to move back in until the temp hearing next Friday. At that point my attorney believes I will get custody of the house.

 

I expect her back here around 3:30 PM.

 

The plot thickens...

 

Stay strong for your sake, and your kids. Do not conversate with her about anything but the kids. Anything you say or do she can try to use as ammo against you. If she comes at you with the "lets talk and try to figure this out" tell her no, then leave the room.

 

Stay strong for you and your kids.

[Reggie]

I raised my two boys, one with Down's and autism and multiple health problems, essentially alone for years, Taylor. MY XW's sister came to me and pled with me to divorce her sister. She offered to testify in court as to who was the primary caregiver. But, we agreed to share custody after she sobered up. I still had the boys 65% of the time. Nurturing came very naturally to me. When one of my boys was sick or scraped his knee, they wanted me to comfort them, not mom(who they had barely seen for years while she was drinking and smoking weed).

Some of the most nurturing people I know are guys. I've seen some really cold blooded moms(like the Mary Tyler Moore character in "Ordinary People"). The nurturing thing cuts across gender lines, IMO, with guys equally represented. Society just gets brainwashed to think oherwise.

[stampdaddy]

The nurturing thing cuts across gender lines, IMO, with guys equally represented. Society just gets brainwashed to think oherwise

 

I had my daughter 5 days a week for years. Not because of problems but because of work schedule..

[White Flower]

There really are some wonderful fathers in this world. I know of a single dad who reads to his son every night. How precious is that?!

[stampdaddy]

There really are some wonderful fathers in this world. I know of a single dad who reads to his son every night. How precious is that?!

 

Depend on what he's reading.. Penthouse Forum?

[Darth Vader]

I find fault in both parents for not considering the AGE of their children when discussing their impending divorce. BOTH parents should have chosen their words carefully, being sensitive to the needs of their young children.

 

The children could easily have been told that the parents were divorcing because mommy and daddy are not happy, mommy met someone else she is happier with, and they are divorcing so that daddy can find someone new to be happy with, too.

 

THAT'S age appropriate.

 

I also believe this husband, while emotionally distraught, put his own selfish interests above his children's BEST interests by being hell-bent on nuclear exposure. A father who had his children's best interests at heart would have wanted to SHIELD THEM from the most hurtful information. He had a choice to do this type of damage control. He could have told his wife under no circumstances whatsoever does he want the children to know about the affair...until they are old enough to understand all that it entails. And he could have kept the affair under wraps to prevent gossip in the community from getting back to his children which is just what nuclear exposure will do.

 

The wife is guilty of having an affair. But he is guilty of wanting to hurt EVERYONE, including his children, by broadcasting it to the world.

 

You say nuclear exposure is necessary so that EVERYONE knows who and what the cheater is.

 

If the person is a pedofile or a murderer...someone the general public needs to be alerted to for their own safety...I can understand the need to inform.

 

But why the NECESSITY to inform the world about someone's infidelity? The only reason is REVENGE..PAYBACK...and it is totally SELF-SERVING. The children do not benefit whatsoever from the knowledge that one of their parents committed adultery.

 

I have a friend whose husband is an alcoholic and has been one for years. Her main goal for years has been to keep his disease as discreet as possible, rather than broadcast it to the world. WHY? To protect her children from community gossip. She also did her best to shield her children from the worst of it at home...sending them to the neighbors to play when he was puking his guts out...or quietly calling a friend to pick her drunk husband up at the bar and keeping him overnight so the children wouldn't have to be exposed to it.

 

What would you have had her done...."Hey kids. Dad's drunk and puking again. Who's turn is it to hold the puke bucket? Hey, kids, dad's falling off the stool at the bar. Get up. Get in the car. Gotta go get him. Your father is a drunk and he's ruining all of our lives..."

 

What do you say to an 8 year old?

 

I guess it all comes down to different parenting styles. Some protect and shield children from the cruel adult world. Others hit the kids between the eyes with reality.

 

 

Tell me something, why do people keep saying that this man told his children?! Try reading the part where he says: his wife told their children about her riding OM (read this statement 5 or 6 times to make sure it sinks in really good!) Some people just don't know how to read! Stop trying to turn this around, because you ain't!

 

He didn't make his wife tell the children what she told them the way she told them, that was all her!

 

So why are you thinking that this man forced his wife to say what she said all on her own?

 

As far as the poster going Nuclear, Hell yeah! He has every right to go Nuclear Exposure! After all the **** she put him through, but, now he has to suck it up and be 'nice' to this lady! What Bias! Sounds to me like you want this man to be a 'doormat'. He's already been Nuked 4 times, and what? He can't retaliate? NO! Anyone with any sense at all would be going WWIII! This man has nothing to be ashamed of.

[seibert253]

Tell me something, why do people keep saying that this man told his children?! Try reading the part where he says: his wife told their children about her riding OM (read this statement 5 or 6 times to make sure it sinks in really good!) Some people just don't know how to read! Stop trying to turn this around, because you ain't!

 

He didn't make his wife tell the children what she told them the way she told them, that was all her!

 

So why are you thinking that this man forced his wife to say what she said all on her own?

 

As far as the poster going Nuclear, Hell yeah! He has every right to go Nuclear Exposure! After all the **** she put him through, but, now he has to suck it up and be 'nice' to this lady! What Bias! Sounds to me like you want this man to be a 'doormat'. He's already been Nuked 4 times, and what? He can't retaliate? NO! Anyone with any sense at all would be going WWIII! This man has nothing to be ashamed of.

 

Have to agree with Mr. Vader on this one. 4 affairs, took her back 3 times too many, no admission, he has the right to broadcast to the world that his SBXW is a lying, cheating, wh#re. Seems to me he's doing society a favor by warning them, be aware, stay away.

[White Flower]

My sweety raised his son on his own - by his choice. He fought for and got custody - and all without a vagina!

That is wonderful! There really are great men out there.

[White Flower]

Depend on what he's reading.. Penthouse Forum?

I KNEW someone would try to dirty that statement and I KNEW it would be you!!!

[Darth Vader]

Darth,

 

I will be totally honest with you here. And let me preface this by saying that every child of divorce and infidelity has his own story and his own perspective based on his own unique history. This is mine.

 

My parents never should have gotten married. They worked together, dated six months and got married. My mom was a homebody with strong family ties. My father was a free spirit and very outgoing. Their differences attracted one to the other. While those differences sparked an attraction, they also caused the marriage to slowly break apart for 12 long years.

 

Neither parent was getting needs met from the very beginning. Dad was a socialite and very active in sports. He wanted to go out. He needed a companion by his side. Someone to do activities with. Someone to sit in the bleachers and cheer him on. Mom catered to her children. She needed a family man..one who doted on the kids and was content hanging around the house.

 

They grew apart. He focused on his job and outside activities with friends. Mom sat at home with the kids..cooking and baking.

 

And then the fights started. About everything...Time, Attention, Affection, Finances.

 

The fights always started after us kids went to bed but we could hear everything. I cried with a pillow over my head every night for years.

 

Mom would take us away to stay with relatives in the summer just to get away from the fighting. We wouldn't see dad for months at a time.

 

ANd when we were home it was like walking on eggshells. My parents would go 2 and 3 months at a time not saying one word to each other. They would use us kids to "talk" to each other.

 

And then came the long nights when mom would wait up for dad and he would come in with a "working late" excuse...ANd then the day came when the affair was discovered. Dad was never to enter the house again. Within a year, he married the OW.

 

So, how do I feel about the betrayal...you ask.

 

When I grew up, and after I was married, my father apologized for the nightmare of a childhood us kids had and he apologized for the affair, sorry he had hurt my mother the way he did.

 

I told him how mom and us kids went thru hell after he left. And I told him how much it hurt me to see how the affair destroyed my mother.

 

But I told him he did not need to apologize to me for his affair. I told him I was glad it happened because the divorce was THE BEST thing that could have happened to us. ALL of our lives changed for the better because of it.

 

I don't think my parents ever would have divorced had my father not had an affair. I think they would have wallowed in the misery for another 10 years or more.

 

My father went on to live a VERY HAPPY life with the OW until his death last year. I am so thankful he found real happiness, even though it came from an affair.

 

My mother never remarried but her life became so much more peaceful and content after the divorce. I know the affair permanently scarred her, though, as did the entire marriage. She married the wrong kind of man and she knew it. She should have got out a lot sooner. BTW, my mom is my best friend and if there was anyway I could have taken this painful marriage and the betrayal from her, I would have. It hurts me that she was hurt the way she was. She has been the best mother a kid could ask for. ANd even my dad would agree with that.

 

But I will not put 100 percent blame on my dad for anything. It was a horrible marriage from the get go and they were both to blame. Like I said, they never should have gotten married in the first place.

 

So, you see, Darth, I was never cheated out of a normal home life because of the affair. I never had a normal home life because my parent's marriage FOR YEARS BEFORE THE AFFAIR was horrible and all of us kids felt the effects of that bad marriage....not just the affair. The affair just marked THE END of the misery.

 

 

 

 

Maybe they will find room for hate in their heart toward their mother. I never had hate for my father. I pitied both my mother and father for the misery they put upon each other while they were married. They both found greater happiness after the affair/divorce and for that I am thankful.

 

 

 

 

I don't think children do judge their parents. They only want to love them and be loved by them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kids get shuttled from house to house in any divorce, Darth. You don't have to have an affair for that to happen. The thing is this marriage has been bad for nearly a decade. It wasn't that it was good and then all of a sudden there was an affair that made it bad and will now result in kids being shuttled house to house. The divorce is the result of a bad marriage, not just the result of an affair.

 

 

You do realize that situations do very in these type of events, what I mean is, sometimes people may end up somewhat better off without the other person being there, however, sometimes peoples lives may just end.

 

That is scary. Because you hear about things like that alot these days.

 

But to conclude, as I'm sure your mother and you would agree, nothing justifies cheating, nothing!