Is it proper to remain very close friends with an ex while in a new relationship?

[JustDunno]

Hello Everyone, I'm going to try and ask this as non opinionated as I can but I need lots of opinions please.

 

Is it ok/right/acceptable for either the male or the female who are in a relationship together to be great friends with their EX to a point of talking everyday at least once, going over to his/her place visiting sometimes for a short visit and sometimes for hours and hours through out the night and never calling their partner before to even tell them where they were going to be but only silence. Also, accepting help or relying on him/her still to this day, even when they have a newer partner who can do whatever the ex was doing for him/her?

 

Bottom line, is this stepping out of the relationship boundaries?

[VASH THE STAMPEDE]

In my opinion .They are stepping out of boundary,why would they need to spend so much time with that person??

[jenny]

this is not acceptable within north american culture if it is unacceptable to the new partner. period.

 

dump 'em. but if you do not want to dump them, simply ignore this behaviour and develop a intense relationship with another ex of your own, if you wish.

 

you cannot change another person. you can express yourself, and your hurt, and that is all you can do. if they do not respond or change, you are no longer beholden to them.

[moimeme]

Absolutely unacceptable.

[Tony T]

While somebody may have close feelings for an ex, it is not practical to remain very close friends. Frequent contact would show disrespect to the current relationship.

[EnigmaXOXO]

It would not be ok, alright or acceptable for me.

[Leikela]

Everyone on here is right. Totally, 100% unacceptable.

 

I have a feeling you've approached your boyfriend about this but gotten the "I can do whatever I want, whenever I want" type of response. (judging from your other posts) If this is the case, he's using you and probably sleeping with the ex-girlfriend as well. Not a good scenario.

[JustDunno]

Thank you everyone and any others, please let me know what you think.

 

Lei, The "he" is a "she". My gf says this and says that my reactions to her actions slightly stated in my opening is why she does what she does. She says I point fingers (well yes if she is doing something I feel isnt right) and says Im abusive as I have yelled at her, called her names in the heat, I have violated her privacy when she says she has done nothing wrong really. Whats small to her i guess because she isnt doing anything physically with him, she says I not really right but its nothing to the abuse Ive done. Maybe I have, I dunno. I do get very mad but if she would stay in the boundries of a relationship I wouldnt get pissed like I do but she says, Im not going to do anything cause you tell me not to when in fact, I have never said "dont go there" I have not been perfect but mannn.

[Leikela]

Sorry for getting the genders mixed up...

 

I have found that whenever someone gets defensive and angry when their SO is questioning their fidelity, they are usually guilty. If she was Miss Innocent, she wouldn't be getting so angry with you and trying to throw the blame off to you. There is definitely something "not right" going on with her and her ex.

 

Try approaching her without yelling and being calm and see how she reacts. If she's still defensive and angry, then you'll know there's something she's hiding. How long have you guys been together?

[JustDunno]

Hi, I have tried talking and talking and now its at a point that she wont even listen and says all I do is point fingers at her. I just dont know what to do. Well I know but everytime we say thats enough and go our own ways, 2 days later we are talking again. We have been together over 2 years. She says I started this a year ago. I have the whole, well some of the story in here somewhere. Thanks