Jasonb8060 Posted October 22, 2003 Share Posted October 22, 2003 MY question is a simple one. Some of you may have read my story, well anytime it seems to be looking up it turns to ****. How can i possibly cope with this and has anybody here considered suicide? I ask because i don't want to but i miss her so much and im not really crazy about having a life without her. Ill ever do it but im so low. Can anybody help?? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted October 22, 2003 Share Posted October 22, 2003 Jason - Depression is a deceiver. It will lead you to believe that you will feel as awful as you do right now forever; that your pain will never end. This is NOT true. Do NOT be deceived. Please see a doctor or call a crisis line now. They can help you beat the deceiver. Please trust me on this - depression messes with your brain and makes you believe life is bleak and hopeless. You need to go fight this feeling with medical help. When it's gone, you will be amazed how you could have been led into feeling so bad by some biological chemicals. Please read the info at this link; it's very good: http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/ Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jasonb8060 Posted October 22, 2003 Author Share Posted October 22, 2003 Like I said I wouldnt do it but Im a logical person and know things will get better and that she will always be in my life even if just as a friend as she feels the same way as i do. In that she is still in love with me and wants to be with me but its so hard giving her her space until she is comfortable to come back without worrying about me calling everyday while she is at uni (why we broke up). Its knowing this that makes it hard because my heart obligates me to wait but it is really hard. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted October 22, 2003 Share Posted October 22, 2003 Can you occupy yourself with friends or hobbies to take your mind off her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jasonb8060 Posted October 22, 2003 Author Share Posted October 22, 2003 I have been and iv got one hell of a fun paked week next week, and its not as if i haven't been gettin attention from women because iv had ample opportunity the problem is i don't want it. When im with my friends or doing something i just think about her. We did a lot of things together and so everything relates to her, including doing nothing which just gives me time to think of her. I keep trying to stay away and at first i was doing ok but the longer im away the harder it is. Im a wreck, u got any advice on what to do aside from giving her space??? Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted October 22, 2003 Share Posted October 22, 2003 I considered suicide. Seriously. After my daughter died I wanted to die too. But I had to live for my son's sake. After my son died I didn't see any point in going on. Why? What for? It hurts so much. It's unbearable. But, wait a minute, I'm bearing it - like it or not. The days pass, like it or not. It doesn't get easier for a long time, but the pain does begin to subside and become manageable. Even when I fought against that - I wanted to continue to embrace the pain of loss only because it was all (I thought) that was keeping me close to them, or them to me. It was all I had left and I didn't even want to let the pain go. But give yourself time and know that you are not the only person who ever has or ever will feel this way. Look forward to the time when you can channel all that energy spent on pain and grief, into love again - with someone who will love you back. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted October 22, 2003 Share Posted October 22, 2003 Gosh, Hoke. You sure have not had it easy. blessings Merry Link to post Share on other sites
TheDonny Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 Suicide is a complicated matter. I have contemplated it in the past but I would always find one reason to stop myself. There was always something for me to hold on to, but mostly it was my imagination showing me a possible future where my family is great sorrow. But suicide is not an act that requires the approval or condsideration of others. As I kept contemplating, the feelings of others seemed to have less of an impact on my decision. But the next reason to not kill my self came from the actual void I was thinking of ending. If I am going to kill myself, then why live my life with consequence? This statement is basically my version of carpe dium (sieze the day). If at anytime I wanted I could end my own life, then why don't I just do whatever I want (within reason, and consideration for others)? I now live by that philosophy. I do stuff that a normal person wouldn't regularily . I am far more daring and outgoing. A lot of people do not understand why act this way, but since I have the quality of my life has improved. I hope this was some help. Link to post Share on other sites
Patty Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 If you are thinking of suicide,please get some professional help. click here http://www.awarefoundation.org/aware/resources/suicide_hotlines.asp Good luck. Patty Link to post Share on other sites
pttp Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 Jason, Please don't consider suicide. Your life is worth so much to so many people -- your family, your friends, and probably many others who care more deeply about you than you realize. You have so much to contribute to the world, and you have every reason to believe that you will find happiness. Your situation is not hopeless -- you have every reason to have hope. Please remember that God loves you, that many people love you, and that there are many people to whom you can turn for help and support. Again, please, please don't even think of taking your own life. Link to post Share on other sites
novascade Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 Hey suicide would be the worst thing you do. you have yet to live life to end it, there is way to much to do just to give up for one single person, you know the saying there plenty of fish in the sea, maybe perch was not your taste. Link to post Share on other sites
JustDunno Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 I have been having a veryyyy hard time these last few months. I have acted like a child at times in the ways I have reacted to things that have happened but while my heart was being tossed around like a rag doll, I didnt care or really think about how I was acting. I just hurt all over. In between my fustration and mad moments, there has been a lot of very sad times to. Through out the years I have lost contact or grew away from friends I have had in the past. Sure there is friends at work but after 5:00pm I'm on my own. These last few months my gf and I have had a lot of problems. I remember one time about 2 months ago I felt so alone and sad as I missed her sooo much words cant describe it. I was laying on my couch actually feeling the life being drained out of me. It was horrible and again at the time, I didnt care. I only wanted not to hurt anymore and in that state of mind the thought of ending things came into my mind. I didnt think about how or where or anything like that. It actually felt that as the life was being drained out of me, soon there just wouldnt be anymore life and that would be the end. Sounds crazy but that is how I felt. When and if that moment came, I dont know what would of happened. I do believe in my God but I keep it to myself mostly. I dont go to church, I dont obey things that are spoken about in the bible. None of that. Its all in my heart. Anyway, through this as I was fading I looked over at my coffe table and saw a Mormon bible that was given to me a couple of weeks prior to that day under weird circumstances to say the least. I reached over and grabbed that bible and put it on my heart and held it tight as I continued to sob uncontrolably. Before I got to that point where all the life was drained out, I could feel the sence of life being drained out of me subside a bit. It got less and still very very sad, it slowly shut off like a plug was place in my open life wound. I laid there for quite a while and finally sat up. I sat there in a daze and out of the blue i got a call from someone I havent talked to in at least 8 years. I couldnt believe it. We landed up talking for a couple of hours. I told him about my situation and how I was feeling and I remember him saying that to him, it looks like I have made some unhealthy or bad choices at times. I have I know, to this day even but if I can realize when I think I'm make a bad or unhealthy choice or dissision, sometimes I can not make it or change it somewhat if possible. Dying that day was a very unhealthy decision to say the least and even to this day I feel so sad and lonely it isnt as bad as that one day a couple months back. I guess I am just trying to say that when you feel as low and as sad to the point of wanting to die, believe it or not, there is someone watching and encouraging you not to and to just hang on one more day. Each day will be easier even if you feel like it is just as sad as the day before. The steps for feeling better are so small at times you just cant see them move but they are moving. You dont have to feel good everyday but if you can just get through that one day, the next one will come and you do the same that day. The next one will come and the next and the next and at one point, you will feel the steps of feeling better. I might have rambled on but I hope you see what I am saying. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 sweet babies; please hang in there. your pain must be unimaginable right now, i wish i could help. but know that your capacity to love makes you a rare and interesting human being - your next girl will be lucky to get you. do u have any female friends? go to them. try a counsellor somewhere, just try the phone book, but take one small step tomorrow to make yourself feel better. let me know if there is anything i can do to help... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jasonb8060 Posted October 23, 2003 Author Share Posted October 23, 2003 Thanks everyone it is great to have support from people that dont even know me. I have been spending time with all my friends, including the female ones, and they do make things better but as was said earlier when your alone you have to reflect. However when ever i identify a problem as i had by posting this thread I try to solve it because if i dont... and i realised iv been acting like i would when im with her which is why the abcence is so great. So i decided to act as i would before her whether i like it or not so im going on a date tonight and got two other dates hooked up over the next week. Hope it helps, i have also been talking to my ex (not about this) because were both still in love with each other and we seem to be getting closer again and were even meeting up in a couple of weeks. Who knows what will happen but atleast im still around to see. Thankyou and ill keep you updated with things and if im low again ill post something up instead of doing anything stupid , the problem is that i have good days and very very bad days so i guess ill try and deal with them. Again though, thankyou. J Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 Originally posted by moimeme Gosh, Hoke. You sure have not had it easy. blessings Merry I don't know. I feel that I've been very VERY lucky. I, like everyone who is fortunate enough to love and be loved, have experienced heartbreak in different forms. When I'm going through a trying time I take it one day at a time and it doesn't seem so bad - no worse then what others go through. But when I talk about them later, they seem so overwhelming and impossible. And for everything that I have experienced, others have had it worse and when I hear about the things they've gone thru I think to myself "man, I couldn't have ever done it!" Your story for one - I don't know how you got thru it - not only got thru it, but with such strength and finesse. Jasonb8060 - devastation doesn't last forever! It may seem like the end, but it doesn't have to be. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 Your story for one - I don't know how you got thru it - not only got thru it, but with such strength and finesse. Me? Gracious! I haven't any hardship to complain about; certainly not on the order of magnitude you have had. I guess it just goes to show that people can get through this stuff. Hearing about it sounds daunting, but when you're in the thick of it, you manage because you have to. Link to post Share on other sites
novascade Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 to Jason glad you pulling through , we all know what you feel like, this is it this is the rest of my and then the heart break, then we start again, hoping that it won't happen again all you can do about the God thing, its my Quote its not part of my message but I guess thats ok Link to post Share on other sites
Summerday Posted October 28, 2003 Share Posted October 28, 2003 Jas, and to all the rest of you... Thanks so much for this post because I too have had suicidal thoughts. I hurt someone deeply that I lived with for 4 years. I cheated on him, he found out and we broke up. I have never cheated on anyone before, but have been cheated on. I'm 38, and I thought this was my soulmate. I did make a bad choice during our relationship which started and ended quickly. Now I'm left with the remorse, and regret I feel inside. When you think about this day in and day out, it's much harder to hurt someone then it is to be hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
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