ahhhhh! epic relationship confusion

[Island Girl]

thanks for taking the time to read my post (: your opinions are appreciated.

 

Good. They are meant with the best of intentions to help YOU.

 

the reason why it's so easy to forgive him is because they were together for 5 years and were pretty much each others lives (they've know each other since they were 11) and best friends.

 

Still not forgivable.

 

Still not understandable.

 

I don't care if they were married for years there'd be no way I'd put up with this crap.

If there were children then there'd HAVE to be some communication - that'd understandable.

But a vacation together alone? NO.

 

Under these circumstances - no way, no how.

 

he was in love with her he says, and can never really get over that.

 

That is just crap.

 

If he can't get over her then he is still attached to her.

Which is a BIG clue to you that you need to find someone who is into you, wants only you, and is with only you mind, body, etc.

 

not to mention she has pulled the suicide card so many times on him.

 

They are broken up.

 

The suicide "card" should be dealt with those IN her life.

If he is an EX then he shouldn't be part of her life anymore and staying in it only means he can't fully be with you.

So this is an FYI for the future - if you meet a guy and he is still involved with an ex, do not get involved until the ex is out of the picture -- if ever.

 

so i'm thinking... isn't it enough that he says he wants to be with me?

 

No, it isn't enough.

 

shouldn't i stay and help him get through such a big change in his life?

 

No, he needs to put his big boy pants on and handle it himself.

You weren't there through the whole relationship. You do not need to be there for the end either. He got himself in so he can get himself out.

 

and i'm not with him because i don't have any other relationship prospects, and he knows this (when he almost broke up with me he said: "i don't feel so bad breaking up with you because you can move on so easily - unlike her").

 

You mean when he flipped it on you and had you convincing him that he shouldn't? It was THAT time?

 

i know it sounds like i'm making a lot of justifications for him but there really are some amazing things about him. i worry about not finding those qualities in anyone else since they are so rare.

 

He may have amazing qualities.

 

But the very very bad ones are dealbreakers.

 

That means no matter how the guy is in any other ways.

When a dealbreaker rears it's ugly head you cut and run. EVERY TIME.

 

If you don't you will be hurt over and over again.