Day By Day Account Of No Contact

[t0ri]

Nuala, if it makes you feel any better, I broke NC last night also! I was on day 25 and ruined it by showing up at his apartment unannounced because I was drunk. I would have never done that sober. He didn't answer the door, but text me this morning telling me never to do that again. I asked him if he wanted me out of his live forever, and he said yes. WOW! Lesson learned, but that was the closure I needed. It killed my last glimmer of hope and I don't even feel sad about it...Just pathetic that I showed up at his place. By the way, he was my first love also!

 

I'm sorry you're hurting The NC, and everything else, will get harder before it gets easier. Just try and prove to yourself that you're strong enough to leave him behind. Take this slip as a lesson learned, don't beat yourself up! Keep trekking along with the NC I'll always remember how embarrassed and stupid I felt today for doing what I did last night. You can remember how upset and sad you felt, maybe that'll give you a little prevention for the next time you wanna break NC. Good luck!

 

I wish you girls were my friends in real life lol because only one of my friends understands how true heartbreak feels and can relate!

[confusedcookie]

Nuala, if it makes you feel any better, I broke NC last night also! I was on day 25 and ruined it by showing up at his apartment unannounced because I was drunk. I would have never done that sober. He didn't answer the door, but text me this morning telling me never to do that again. I asked him if he wanted me out of his live forever, and he said yes. WOW! Lesson learned, but that was the closure I needed. It killed my last glimmer of hope and I don't even feel sad about it...Just pathetic that I showed up at his place. By the way, he was my first love also!

 

I'm sorry you're hurting The NC, and everything else, will get harder before it gets easier. Just try and prove to yourself that you're strong enough to leave him behind. Take this slip as a lesson learned, don't beat yourself up! Keep trekking along with the NC I'll always remember how embarrassed and stupid I felt today for doing what I did last night. You can remember how upset and sad you felt, maybe that'll give you a little prevention for the next time you wanna break NC. Good luck!

 

I wish you girls were my friends in real life lol because only one of my friends understands how true heartbreak feels and can relate!

 

definitely, we could meet up and cry about it, and eat some darn old ice cream. i really need to vent you know? vent vent vent.... steam shooting off my head venting

[Nuala83]

I wish you girls were my friends in real life lol because only one of my friends understands how true heartbreak feels and can relate!

 

Heehee we could all sit round and eat ice cream like confusedcookie said...then we could plot ways to take out each others ex's!!! There's nothing better than good old fashioned violence

[Nuala83]

I'm not gonna lie to you, I was wholeheartedly ashamed of myself yesterday for breaking NC but it led to an interesting development. After James recieved my email he phoned me up to talk. He said he wanted a chance to explain himself and talk about what had happened. That hasn't happened at all since the break and I was eager to hear him out. So we spent about 20 mins just talking and listening and not fighting. I finally got the sincere appology I was after and he acknowleged how selfish he had been and how his recent actions had been tactless and cruel. I accepted his aplogy. He then told me how much he missed me as a friend. I explained to him that I couldn't do that at the moment and I couldn't make any promises for the future. I told him I needed the chance to get over the hurt and move on with my life. I asked him if he would refrain from contacting me and he said he would. He once again said he was sorry. I accepted the apology. Then I wished him well. That was it.

 

There was no "let's get back together" and no "this was all your fault". It was just a means to an end I s'pose. At least I managed to get some closure, so now I can start NC again and try to make myself better. I feel like a weight's been lifted and I also think if I hadn't have avoided him for those 9 days, I would never have recieved an explination or apology. At least that's something.

 

Time to start again and hopefuly this time will be better.

[Nikki Sahagin]

me too, he was my first, and though i was the dumper because he drove off and left me hanging on a street corner with no money and in the bummy area of vancouver, i just wished that he could have at least tried to call me after i said breakup. sure, i said breakup, but you did something wrong, aren't you least going to try to win me back?

 

only now do i realize that he is completely different from what i thought he was. but then, i remember all the hour massages he gives me, makes me soup, and all the things he does for me, and i wonder, what happens if i never find someone like that? that will give me a massage, blow dry my hair, squeeze out my toothpaste, what happens if he's the one i let get away? that if we stuck this out, it would work again?

 

ugh, its horrible!

 

oh my god! he squeezed out my toothpaste, washed my hair sometimes, dried it too, straightened it once - he did so many 'taking care of you' things that seemed so unique and different. But then think of the unique things you did too...i.e. for my ex I looked after him for 5 days when he was ill, wrote him poetry, always cuddled him to sleep and shaved his chest - intimate little things that make you feel so close.

[Nuala83]

Day 1 of no contact

 

 

Well here I am again right back at day 1 and although it doesn't feel good, it's not the end of the world. I don't feel as bad as I did the last two times I started NC (yes I've broken NC twice).

 

I've taken some new measures this time to help me through. With the help of a friend I've blocked my computer from accessing certain web pages i.e. his myspace, facebook and online blog. The block is password protected and only my friend (who is a wonderful friend) knows the password to unblock it. Voila! I can't see what he's up to even if I want to. I've also blocked the other womans networking sites so I can't torture myself. My stubborn friend will never give me the password! Temptation's just too much sometimes so this is the only way for now.

 

Hopefully in a few weeks time I'll be stronger. In fact, shortly after blocking all his sites, I felt a sense of relief and I started to focus on other stuff I needed to get done. Things I've been putting off for waaaay too long. I got a lot done and I feel alright. I don't feel good...but I don't feel bad. I feel like I'm thinking more clearly today and I really hope it lasts. Now I just need to figure out what to do next. When I know what that is, I'll let you know

 

Anyone else out there back at day 1????

[bluewolf17]

Good for you! I have done everything except delete my X from Facebook. I don't know why. I guess I want him to see a little of my page, but I haven't once looked at his. Guess that's the next step though.

 

I am on my 3rd attempt at NC. Hang in there! I'm on day 4.

 

Glad you are feeling good today. It's beautiful here in Portland today, 3 whole days of no clouds (which is so rare). I can't help but feel better when the sun is shining.

[Nuala83]

It's beautiful here in Portland today, 3 whole days of no clouds (which is so rare). I can't help but feel better when the sun is shining.

 

You lucky bugger Bluewolf! It's frickin freezing and rainy here. Stupid british summertime

[Nuala83]

Day 2 of no contact

 

I can't believe it but I actually feel happy today. I'm gonna try to hold on to this feeling as long as I can. I got an interview for a job, I tried out a new recipe which turned out to be delicious and I'm sitting at my keyboard right now eating a cadburys caramel. Yum! Let's hope tommorow's another good day.

[thewingwoman]

Glad you're having a good day. Keep it up and they'll get better.

 

BTW, I just noticed your location is Birmingham and was going to suggest we get together sometime, but then read that you're in England, not Alabama. Massive confusion for uno momento. lol.

[RogueAC]

Nuala83 -- don't beat yourself up about breaking NC. Sometimes, breaking it helps us to remember why we went NC in the first place. I know how difficult it can be but it does get easier... and you learn to pick yourself up faster and eventually, you'll stop counting the days NC because you'll be too busy living a great life without your ex.

 

Good luck on your interview!

[fairycake]

confusedcookie: "me too, he was my first"

 

Nikki Sahagin: "He was my first kiss, I lost my virginity to him and I loved the idea of us being together forever. Sadly that will not be my reality".

 

 

Mine was my first also! Not first kiss but first love, lost my virginity to him (never had sex with another man), first lots of things. D'ya think it's so much painful if you're losing your first love???

 

I've lost my first love too. Maybe I was naive but I believe in being with someone forever, through good and bad and I could see myself being with just him. Yeah he had his faults but I liked enough of who he was to be totally content with him and not want anyone else. As for me he claimed he didn't dislike anything about me, that I was everything he wanted and he felt something for me he hadn't for anyone else. Then he split with me on the phone, he'd been weird for a week before due to problems in another area of his life. I understood he had stuff going on but it didn't need to ruin our relationship but he decided he couldn't be in a relationship anymore. This was despite everything still being good whenever we spent time together and he was still telling me he loved me everyday. It's been four months now and whilst it's a bit easier I still swing between sadness, hurt and anger. 2 months since no contact, he said he wanted to be friends but made no effort to get in touch and ask how I am. I deleted him off facebook 2 months ago as I kept looking at his page and feeling worse. I messaged him to tell him that and he replied saying he understood and good luck with everything. The unanswered questions still really get to me, I still don't get WHY he decided he couldn't have a relationship. I've had several urges in the nc phase to message him and demand a proper explanation or tell him how angry I am at how he's hurt me when I put everything into our relationship. I managed to resist though as I want to keep my dignity as he's taken everything else. That he hasn't contacted me since I went nc on him is just another blow, feels like he really doesn't care at all. Everything we had finishing with 'good luck'. I suppose at least it's not anything nasty but the detachement was horrible.

[xxSRMxx]

I KNOWWWWW that NC is ultimately THE best thing for all of us to do in order to heal and move on but sometimes dont u just think ''GOD WHY ARENT U CONTACTING ME SO I CAN IGNORE U!!'' so I can feel like at least im on his mind too!! I know them contacting u gives more temptation to just call them back but I just wanna blank him to be fair!

[xxSRMxx]

NUALA Im from Birmingham in the UK too!

Weve probably passed each other in the street in a haze of tears etc etc!

[Nuala83]

NUALA Im from Birmingham in the UK too!

Weve probably passed each other in the street in a haze of tears etc etc!

 

Hahahaa now that would be a sorry sight to behold!

[Nuala83]

Day 3 of no contact

 

 

Feelin fine today! Except for one thing....I am Soooo sexually frustrated. I had to lend myself a hepling hand just to get to sleep last night. You all probably didn't want to know that.

[gypsi]

ha ha wel i think all of have done that since breaking up ;-)

[rounder08]

Is this a "girls only" thread?

 

Nuala, I'm back to square one as well after breaking NC for the oooohhhh.... third or fourth time. She thinks I'm bluffing now if I were to attempt it again. Given your situation, it seems like you're feelings for your ex are similar to mine, so I am proud of you for telling your ex that you do not want him to call you or anything anymore. I did not have the balls to say that when the opportunity came up.

 

And when you do feel like breaking NC, think of your thread on this website. I'm sure you're an inspiration to a lot of people going through the same thing...and believe me, there are A LOT of people going through the same thing. You've got a lot of friends here.

 

I feel the worst I have ever felt since I broke NC, but coming on here really helps med the pain. It's good to know that I'm not the only one going through all of this. Thanks.

[fofiffs]

i'm on day 14..exactly two weeks..it was hard at first but gets easier everyday

[MissDumperUlv2h8]

It's very helpful to read your stories. Was just going to read through and sign off but wanted you to know a lot of people read this without posting and it helps them. I'm on day 4 of NC and day 12 of no smoking (I figured I'd do it all at once.) It helps knowing what to expect and to be prepared for dowturns.

[sultry33]

Hi Nuala,

You are doing great.. this is a great thread:bunny:

I remember going through all the ups and downs and breaking nc constantly.

I too saw a pic of my ex with a new girl and whilst for some bizzare reason it didnt break my heart it did "help" me move on.

 

We broke up in March last year and spent until July trying to be friends.. maybe more, until that pic..then i let him go.

 

Now im actually now in a kinda serious rs.. he is a really nice guy,very sweet and attentive.

Not sure exactly how i feel about him yet but it feels good;)

 

stay strong x

[Nuala83]

Day 4 of no contact

 

 

I'm writing this post really early today because I have the day off work and I might be going out later. I've been reading all the replies everyone's left and they cheered me up a lot. I felt kinda sad waking up this morning but everyone on here's so supportive and I know you're all going through the same s*it I am.

 

I found this poem. It sums up the way I feel at this moment.

 

This one's for you james,

 

Your cheating heart

will make you weep

You'll cry and cry

and try to sleep

But sleep wont come

the whole night through

Your cheating heart

will tell on you

 

When tears come down

like falling rain

You'll toss around

and call my name

You'll walk the floor

the way I do

Your cheating heart

will tell on you

 

Your cheating heart

will pine someday

And crave the love

you threw away

The time will come

when you'll be blue

Your cheating heart

will tell on you

 

-Hank Williams-

[fairycake]

I KNOWWWWW that NC is ultimately THE best thing for all of us to do in order to heal and move on but sometimes dont u just think ''GOD WHY ARENT U CONTACTING ME SO I CAN IGNORE U!!'' so I can feel like at least im on his mind too!! I know them contacting u gives more temptation to just call them back but I just wanna blank him to be fair!

 

Yes! My ex split with me and said he wanted us to still be friends, even meet up still and stuff. I said I can't do that yet, occasional text or email maybe. Then HE went nc on me, he replied to the brief messages I sent him but never bothered to contact me first and now I've stopped, nothing. That's just another twist of the knife in the heart, another rejection, another thing to be hurt and angry about cos HE hurt me and he gets to be the one to initiate the nc, it's so unfair!

[bluewolf17]

I love this thread. Great Job Nuala.

 

I am on day 7. One week. It's weird how milestones like, one week, one month, seem to carry more importance. I just knew I would be sad today. 7 days and no attempt on other side. I have resisted all urges to look at his Myspace and Facebook. I just would die if I saw that he was dating another girl.

 

On the other hand in a weird twist, my ex ex boyfriend (from over 5 years ago) came to my birthday party BBQ and admitted his love for me after all these years. (I actually kind of already knew that as he has stayed in touch). So strange..after all this time he still says I am the only one for him. But I don't want him..I want my Tony back. The universe works in strange ways.

 

And yes, everyone..I was straight with the Ex Ex. I told him there was no chance-I am no string dangler!

[Soul Bear]

Nuala, I am so inspired by your NC that Im starting today...again...for the 17th time....

 

she initiated NC on me 3 days ago verbaly 'we need a few months apart until you lose those feeling for me, then we can be friends''. Today could have been day 3....what did I do? I called her...

She never picked up but called back immediately.

She sounded so cold and off.

 

I asked why she left me as I hadnt actually asked yet ( it turns out it was because of me!) and apologized for the awkward meeting the other day. she got mad and told me she doesnt love me anymore and is interested in someone else. Wants space and time away from me until I stop loving her so we can be friends bla bla bla. Then she hung up, even more bitter than before.

 

She is starting to make me feel guilty for our split, when it was HER actions that gave me anger and resentment towards her before the split ARRRGG!! Does anyone else have this manipulative ex syndrome too?

 

I wrote her a looong stupid txt as well (yup, an 8 page sms after the phonecall)-

 

I made some big mistakes, i know this, and I am truly sorry. I am so so very sorry.I got to the bottom of my emotions that made me feel so angry and off with you. Im telling you that they wont be an issue anymore as i have confronted and dealt with them for the first time properly.We have both made mistakes that have effected attitudes resentment and trust between us and i hold nothing against you anymore.I hope one day you can really forgive me too and try to get on with me and work things out instead of the the cold shoulder. Cos no matter what you say or do, we had a beautiful, loving and speacial realationship and worked well together 99% of the time. I am trying so hard to show that i know where I went wrong and want to work things out with you. I care deeply about you and it really really hurts to be met with such coldness and hostility when i try to be caring and nice and do all that I can to show you just how much you mean to me.Your attitude towards me is really hurting me and i find it a bit rude, but its your decision. Ill miss you baby. Love SoulBear xx

 

LOL, i know i know. It was silly. But I couldnt help myself. I thought it was a nice message, not angry, just sad n hurt. I feel better for sending it tho.

Nuala- Every day im going to keep up with your thread here on NC. Im going through all the motions. I wish I was as strong as you guys are

 

I keep Hijacking your threads too Nuala...sorry about that

NC DAY 1 Tomorow! woohoo!