Soul Bear Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 On the other hand in a weird twist, my ex ex boyfriend (from over 5 years ago) came to my birthday party BBQ and admitted his love for me after all these years. (I actually kind of already knew that as he has stayed in touch). So strange..after all this time he still says I am the only one for him. But I don't want him..I want my Tony back. The universe works in strange ways. LOL, my ex ex started chatting to me online THE DAY my current ex left me. We talked on the phone for 5 hours!! She said she missed me bla bla bla. Aint going back there tho. She cheated. Well done on your 7 days Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nuala83 Posted May 21, 2009 Author Share Posted May 21, 2009 Im going through all the motions. I wish I was as strong as you guys are I keep Hijacking your threads too Nuala...sorry about that NC DAY 1 Tomorow! woohoo! I'm not strong soul bear...but I'm getting there. Less than a week ago I found myself bawling my eyes out to an episode of friends. Yes Friends. The one where Monica is trying to get over her Break up with Richard. It wasn't even a sad episode for fricks sake. Welcome to camp crazy You aint hijacking my threads. It's a nc coping thread and you like me are trying to cope with nc. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nuala83 Posted May 21, 2009 Author Share Posted May 21, 2009 Coincidentaly, I feel marvelous at the moment, when just a few hours ago I was depressed. Stupid unpredictable emotions Link to post Share on other sites
bluewolf17 Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 My moods swing like crazy too! I go from being so busy I don't even think of him.and lately (and this sounds immature) but I am just boy crazy. I can't stop thinking about who I can date next, even though I don't even want to. I just lust after every guy with a cute smile. Then I go back to crying-and I don't know why it is, but I only cry in my car. And i only live 10 blocks from him. I try really hard to not take the route that goes by his house, but sometimes it's unavoidable. But I don't turn my head and look down his street. It's okay to cry to an episode of friends! : ) I cried the other day listening to a radio add about a diamond store having a engagement ring sale... Link to post Share on other sites
kizik Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 Hey bluewolf - I live in Portland, Oregon as well, and went through a bad breakup last year - for what it's worth. Cry! Crying is good, it's healthy and natural. But help yourself by exercising and spending time with good friends. Link to post Share on other sites
bluewolf17 Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 Small world. If you see a blonde in a Blue VW Rabbit drive by crying, give her a honk and tell her to know it off. And the gym has worked wonders. I have gone 4 times this week, plus a play volleyball a lot so it works out the angst. Can't help but smile with this weather! Link to post Share on other sites
Soul Bear Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 Small world. If you see a blonde in a Blue VW Rabbit drive by crying, give her a honk and tell her to know it off. Thats pretty funny Its also the first proper smile i had on my face today Link to post Share on other sites
bluewolf17 Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 I do what I can Link to post Share on other sites
kizik Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 Blue, If you need a friend... [email protected] This post will get deleted quickly, so write it down! Link to post Share on other sites
bluewolf17 Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 Got it! Best. Forum. Ever. Link to post Share on other sites
kizik Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 PS. To the mods - I only did that b/c she can't receive PM's yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nuala83 Posted May 22, 2009 Author Share Posted May 22, 2009 Day 5 of no contact Not a peep from James in 5 days now and for a short while this morning I felt really weak. In a move that's most unlike me I went into work one hour early (I was in for 7am which meant getting the 6.15am train) and I sat in the staff room sulking until the rest of my co-workers got in. Boy did they look surprised to see me. Their expressions were a mix of surprise and pity. I guess I did look a bit sad. At that time in the morning it's only the cleaners that are in and most of the lights in the building are still off. Oh well. I got home about an hour ago, I paced around for a bit then I decided to get something done. I realised if I was ever gonna get past the next few days I was gonna need a plan of attack. I'm already going to the gym like crazy and going out with friends etc but that's not enough. So I decided to start Phase 1. Cleansing: Out with the old, in with the new. I pulled every item of clothing out of my wardrobe, put 3/4 of it into a bin bag and stashed it in my attic. There's barely anything left but that's how I want it. I've decided I need a new look. New clothes, new accessories, new makeup, new haircut etc. I could do with the confidence boost and besides, I've got a lot of disposable income left over since my break up! Might as well spend some of it! Only problem is now I'm at a bit of a loose end. I'm not going out tonight, my pals are busy and I'm all alone at home. Curse these long summer days!!! Hmmm maybe I'll set to work clearing out some other stuff. If anyone's read my other posts you'll know that the first time I broke NC was on day 5 (today's day 5!) and the second time it was broken by James on day 10 (I shouldn't have taken the bait!) so if I'm a tad edgy for the next few days you'll know why. Must...be...strong! Link to post Share on other sites
bluewolf17 Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 Be strong, Nuala! The first time I broke NC was 4 weeks in..when he texted me. And I regret having to start all over. It sounds like you are doing everything right! Keep up working out. At first I thought I would really starting working out to loose some pounds, but now I go because I feel good doing it. It makes me feel healthy, strong and whole. On top of it, it send my endorphins going like crazy! And I sleep better. I went for a long run yesterday and I felt like my lungs would burst, but it was so good. I also, went through all of my clothes. I gave away anything that I didn't feel fantastic in (or haven't worn in ages). I bought 5 new pair of shoes, and some new clothes. I even changed my hair. It's a cleansing thing..I think. New wardrobe = new me. I even bought a new perfume, and I threw out the one he always use to love and compliment me on. I am really proud of you and enjoy reading your progress! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nuala83 Posted May 22, 2009 Author Share Posted May 22, 2009 Greetings BlueWolf! How ya doing? Where are you at with NC now? It feels good to cleanse your life doesn't it! I also threw out some perfume that my ex used to compliment me on! Funny how we're doing a lot of the same things. So you bought 5 new pairs of shoes huh. I think I might wanna do that too. Thanks for the support by the way. You're all a bunch of shiny stars Link to post Share on other sites
nolanola Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 Nuala, I am so glad you are daily posting again!! I am actually on vacation with my family right now but for some reason, was starting to get mopey about my ex. We haven't spoken for 11 days and I actually do feel somewhat better with him out of the picture for a while, but (like someone else said), sometimes the sadness will just creep up on me out of the blue. It is really, really helpful to see other people dealing with the same feelings. Sometimes I feel so pathetic that I still think about him so much when our relationship has been over for a long time (our official relationship ended 2 years ago, but we didn't fully break things off until about a year ago). On the other hand, I have to see him fairly frequently and he still contacts me and acts stupidly, so it definitely makes it harder to fully move on. I hate going through this stuff. Wish I would just wake up one day and not think of him at all. Other days I want to call him and yell at him. Crazy ups and downs... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nuala83 Posted May 24, 2009 Author Share Posted May 24, 2009 Day 7 of no contact 1 WEEK! Well I've made it a whole week...again! I've made it past my first stumbling block (5 days) and I'm nearing my second one (10 days). But I wont be happy till I make it past that 10 day mark. I just keep telling myself third time's a charm! I'm starting to get really sick of myself for thinking about that b*stard all the time. I didn't post anything yesterday because I spent the day at a family gathering. You'd think that'd take my mind off things but noooo. People kept asking me "where's James?" and I kept looking at the empty seat beside me thinking "Why isn't he here with me?". This whole keeping busy thing aint helping me at the moment. I spent the whole morning shopping today, something I always enjoy but that didn't make me happy either. The happy couples were out in their droves so I decided to admit defeat and return to my pit of despair (my home). C'mon Monday, hurry up Monday! On a slightly more positive note, I've set myself a bunch of goals and I'm getting stuck into them right away! Some of my goals include: Setting up my own business website (I wont tell you what I do for a living), learning a new skill or taking up a new hobby, moving away from this crappy area and getting a new flat, re-inventing my look, establishing new friendships, feeling happy with my life and being in control of my emotions (that last one's gonna be the toughest to achieve). There are more but those are the main ones. Mustn't sit and wallow in self pity forever Link to post Share on other sites
notalone Posted May 24, 2009 Share Posted May 24, 2009 Congratulations on your ten day mark!!! Hang in there. And that is a pretty long list of self improvement you've got there..lol. By the time you finish all that, you will come out the other side fantastic and fabulous. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nuala83 Posted May 25, 2009 Author Share Posted May 25, 2009 Day 8 of no contact Today was a marvelous day. I didn't go anywhere, I didn't see anyone, in fact I didn't even leave the house (it's a bank holiday here in case you're wondering). I did however spend the day constructively by reading this great book I've had for months and months cover to cover, then making a stack of delicious buttermilk pancakes...just because I wanted pancakes, then I typed out my goals list onto the computer, printed it off and stuck it beside my bed so there would be no excuse for me not to work on myself! Something else rather interesting happened today. I got a phone call from a pal of mine who's also a mutual friend of James's and in a strange twist of events she also knows the girl I thought he was with! I couldn't believe it when I found out she knew her (they're not close but they live near each other), anyways, it turns out he's NOT seeing her after all. I wont go into the details of the whole thing but from all the information I've gathered, they don't seem to be an item. In fact, she's still very much involved with her ex boyfriend who's round at her flat on a daily basis (though he doesn't live there). Now I'm not naeve and I do realise there must be something there for them to spend that amount of time together but for that moment I felt good. I don't have so much hatred towards him now that I know he wasn't unfaithful to me when we were together (like I said I can't go into details but the mutual friend is someone who's more my friend than James's and we've known each other since we were kids). Don't get me wrong, he was still incredibly hurtful to me but at least now I don't have to visualise the two of them having sex! On to day 9! Link to post Share on other sites
Soul Bear Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 If you want a hand with your internet biz let me know. I run my own too, and Ill tell you, its taken 5 years of trial and error!! Link to post Share on other sites
akeachi Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Hi Nuala Right well after three weeks of NC im back to square one. Had to do a photoshoot with him (whole story on other thread) Then i had this amazing idea that we could go to the cinema and be mates....lol...but now i feel awful again becasue i still went home being single. So day one NC i feel awful terrible gutted on the verge of tears all the time constantly thinking shoulda woulda coulda miss him terribly no light at the end of the tunnel. Link to post Share on other sites
akeachi Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Nulala Hit me up on facebook!! i only live down the road from u in cheltenham!!! reading your posts today got me through the afternoon...would love to be mates lol!! i need them at the moment! my names leanne allen and in my fb photo i have really long dark hair!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nuala83 Posted May 26, 2009 Author Share Posted May 26, 2009 Hi Akeachi! Sorry to hear you're back at square one but I think if you did NC for 3 weeks and only had one slip up, you shouldn't have to go back to day 1. Just think of it as a wee mistake (like the many that I made) and move on I'm not in Birmingham by the way. I just picked that city incase my ex happened upon the site and put 2 and 2 together! I've changed a number of details in my threads so he doesn't know it's me (hope it's working). My hometown shall remain a secret! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nuala83 Posted May 26, 2009 Author Share Posted May 26, 2009 Day 9 of no contact Easy Peasy Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nuala83 Posted May 27, 2009 Author Share Posted May 27, 2009 Day 10 of no contact Wooooohooo! I've once again made it to day 10 (my previous stumbling block) and now that I have, I think I'm finally strong enough not to have to write a post each day. I'm gonna try and stop using LS so much and instead focus on the tonne of goals I've got (and there's a lot by the way). I'll still be visiting this site but mostly on my down days when I need to vent. When I'm feeling good (hopefully that'll happen more often) I'll be busy getting on with life. Here's a few of my top goals: Sell up and move to a new flatGet a new jobMeet new people and form new friendshipsGet a fantastically gorgeous gym bodyGo on a holiday of a lifetime (without James!)Get teeth whitened (always wanted to do that)Be happy!Well it looks like I'll be busy! Link to post Share on other sites
CandyBar Posted May 28, 2009 Share Posted May 28, 2009 Okay ladies, I've been through this too many times to let you guys continue. I learned from a great guy that this is so true: "Your attention (focus) equals your direction" When I focused on the breakup, him, or the good times, hell yeah I was miserable. Instead I learned to focus on new adventures, my dream guy and new friends. Then I never looked back. "You cannot grab on the branch that will save you when you're still holding on to the dead branch." CandyBar Link to post Share on other sites
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