Author Nuala83 Posted June 1, 2009 Author Share Posted June 1, 2009 Day 15 of no contact. I'm past the 2 week mark It's been a while since I've posted here because I no longer feel the need to be here every day. And that's what this was about, a need. When I first came across this forum, the support, advice and stories from others who were struggling to cope really put things in perspective for me. Well here I am almost 2 and a half months since the break up and 2 weeks since I last spoke to James and changes are taking place. Before I carry on I should say that the sadness is still there. I accept that and I realise it's not gonna shift any time soon no matter how hard I try. Time will have to work its magic. But very gradually over these past couple of weeks, I've noticed a difference in the way I feel about my situation. I’ve started to look at things from a different perspective (including that of my ex) and it suddenly struck me that in my adult life I’ve never been alone. I always realised this but I didn’t dwell on it’s signifigance until just now. When I left school and went to college, I was so excited about discovering who I was and for lack of a better phrase, “finding myself”. But because I met James and quickly became part of a couple, that stage of self discovery was kind of stunted as I had to accommodate the needs and wants of another person. Not that I regret getting together with him but I think when you’ve been part of a couple for such a long time, it’s very common to lose a part of yourself and trying to find it again isn’t easy. But it is possible and for me its opened up a sense of freedom and adventure that I haven’t felt since before I met him. I’d also like to mention when I was coming back from the gym today I caught a cute guy checking me out. I never notice things like this (maybe they just don’t happen often!) but I noticed today and it felt gooood! If that had happened a couple of weeks ago it would have upset me and I would have averted my gaze and walked on. Today I smiled at him and he smiled right back. Funny but I’ve seldom thought about James these past few days. Someone commented on a previous thread entry of mine a few weeks back. I can't remember who it was but they said that after a while I wouldn't feel the need to count the days, and they were right. I no longer mark off the days on my calendar and the only reason I know it's been 15 days is from counting back from my previous thread. It's nice to know my focus is shifting. I'm sure it's yet another sign of the minds incredible ability to heal. Link to post Share on other sites
sultry33 Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 hi nuala, how are you doing? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nuala83 Posted June 26, 2009 Author Share Posted June 26, 2009 Oh hello. I'd forgotten about this thread. I'm fine Sultry thanks for asking. I'm no longer doing No Contact. After a while my ex began contacting me so I'm allowing him to do so. Is this a wise decision? I have no idea. Time will tell. Link to post Share on other sites
sultry33 Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 Oh hello. I'd forgotten about this thread. I'm fine Sultry thanks for asking. I'm no longer doing No Contact. After a while my ex began contacting me so I'm allowing him to do so. Is this a wise decision? I have no idea. Time will tell. exactly only time will tell hope it works out for you Link to post Share on other sites
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