Blindsided by Betrayal

[verysexyvirgo]

I have recently been played for a fool for no particular reason. I posted a previous thread in January relating to this story...

I was dating a girl, and we are both in the military. She had been going through some tough times, as she was married with two small children at home.

Through our profession, we got to know each other, although looking back at it now, it should not have gotten as intimate as it did. I believed her when she came to me and told me that her husband had been beating on her, as I saw the bruises and marks that he used to leave on her. I do not know if she or he was the aggressor; I know that our chain of command had to get involved.

Eventually, they were separated from one another, with him moving to New York (we are stationed in Jacksonville, FL) and she had to move into the barracks for a month until she deployed for six months overseas. During the time that they were separated, she and I got to be really close; I was under the assumption that since he abused her, she was done with him, and rightfully so.

She and I were so happy together...We spent every waking moment together, at work, and afterward. We did almost everything together up until the day that she had to deploy. The night that she was to deploy, she asked me if I would save a spot in my heart for her (mushy, right?), and it took me a second, because I was trying to see whether she was seriously into me. Eventually, I replied with a "Yes", and she kissed me, and we made love for the last time, until we would see each other again.

Little did I know that it would be the last time that we would make love, because she arrived at her deployment site on December 1, 2008, and on January 3, 2009, she cheated on me by having sex with another fellow in our work center. She claimed that he took advantage of her while she was drunk, and of course, I didn't want to talk right then, so I broke it off with her. She had been such a sweet girl to me that the cheating blindsided me, as well as everyone else we work with. Once she got overseas, she started drinking a lot, and doing things that would be considered abnormal for the girl that I thought I got to know personally.

This is a very long story; I am trying to narrate as much as I can without boring anyone to death.

After breaking up with her, she claimed that she was depressed, so I stayed in contact for another week, until I wised up, and cut off contact with her. I went into No Contact for almost two months, trying to figure out where it went wrong each day, and on March 4, 2009, I called her over in Japan to see how she was, and to get closure and make peace about what happened, being that we still have to work together, and I am her boss. She proceeded to be hostile/nasty towards me on the phone, so I get offended and tell her that karma will arrive when she leasts expect it.

Anyone on my base will tell you that I am a good guy, and that she screwed me over big time. She is trying to hide her guilt for what she's done, so she got angry with me on the phone that night.

On March 27, 2009, 23 days after we last spoke, she sends me an email telling me to leave her alone, that she is dating the guy who she originally claimed to have been sexually assaulted by while drunk, and that she was in love with him. I know that if she liked the guy to begin with, all she had to do was tell the truth, and everything would have been fine. I wrote her back telling her thanks for the good times, and that I am happy with my life without her. There was a picture of her on his MySpace page with his pants pulled down and her making a blowing motion with her face between his butt cheeks. I had the picture blown up into an 11x17, and framed to remind me everyday that I deserve better than a girl who doesn't respect herself. She is also lying about me, saying that I am stalking her because I made the phone call to make peace.

I don't know what I am going to do or say when I see her; she is scheduled to return to the United States on the 28th of May to work in the shop again. I will not even be surprised if she is pregnant either, with the promiscuous traits that she is showing. She left me for a guy who is married with two children, and has nothing to his name (no car, no money, drinks heavily, gets arrested a lot). I have never been arrested; I make lots of money, and live very comfortably. I am in the service, and I have a Bachelor's Degree in Industrial Engineering (Architecture). The guy's wife dances at a gentleman's club to support herself and her children because he does not take care of them, and he used to abuse his wife too. I believe that she did not deserve my kindness. I did for her when she had not a cent to her name. I was betrayed, but I will live. They can have each other, but I don't want her slandering my name when she comes back, so what should I do? P.S. She also tested positive for Chlamydia a week before she left to go on deployment last November, so I was already on alert. I just wish that her ego wasn't so big.

[TaraMaiden]

I don't know why you even care.

I read your other posts, but they were identical... and you only received two replies.

Basically, she is not worth your time, and you are not worth hers.

You are clearly incompatible and not even together...

 

I truly am not even sure why you have posted.

 

And you do seem to have a bit of a problem accepting that she could have done this to you, because there is much in your post that speaks of how wonderful you are, yet you are amazed she cannot see this.

 

I would simply try to forget the whole episode, let her get on with her life and you get on with yours.

 

Cross bridges when you come to them.

That's the best way.

 

_/l\_

[Bejita463]

she cheated on me by having sex with another fellow in our work center.

 

I'll be honest. I got frustrated and stopped right here. Why? Look at two things.

 

I was dating a girl, [sNIP] she was married

she cheated on me by having sex with another fellow in our work center.

 

She was cheating on her HUSBAND with you, and it surprises you that she turned out to be a cheater? Cheaters cheat. That's what they do. The fact this woman was with you at ALL while married to another guy should have been a huge red flag.

[lostsunsets]

She is a skank. Don't worry about her slandering your name. You have the picture, right. Tell her if your name gets dragged through the mud, you will have to defend yourself with the picture. End of story.

[mark982]

you'd better be REAL careful. military is very serious about sexual haressment--and i'm not saying you are! but this girl sounds alittle unstable,and she might try to make you're life hell. if you don't cover your azz your military career could explode in your face. good luck.

[verysexyvirgo]

Thanks to everyone for their opinions...I really appreciated them. I have taken all necessary precautions to avoid the situation, but there will be a time where we must work together again; I will keep it nothing but professional, and I do believe that this woman is unstable. I learned a valuable lesson, and I vow not to make such a terrible mistake again, not that I saw this coming, but just to prevent any further drama.

[Gamine]

Whenever someone enters into a relationship with a married person there runs the risk that the MP is a user/player and that the game is what they are in it for. If this were not the case, they would not be cheating to begin with. Sometimes OP are surprised to read posts that share the lying tendencies of MP. But a MP who cheats is literally out for #1 and does not care about anyone genuinely while they are in the cheating mode. If they did, they wouldn't be dragging anyone else into their situation and cultivating emotions/feelings... they would be up front that it is purely physical. But the emotions feed their egos....so, they bring them into the picture.

 

I can sense from your post that your feelings have been deeply hurt and for that I extend to you my heartfelt wishes that you heal and find a wonderful woman who will love, honor, and respect you. Find a woman who is capable of fidelity and you will have a better chance at cultivating a respectful, warm and loving relationship... one in which you will flourish.

 

My mother used to say..."If you can't stand the heat stay out of the kitchen..." Wiser words have never been spoken!

[tami-chan]

Is this girl what they call "field issue"? You know you are better off without her...

 

Did you say you are her boos? so you outrank her? hmmm..is that not fraternization? Oh dear, mark982 is right, be very careful with this woman.

[shoesies05]

you'd better be REAL careful. military is very serious about sexual haressment--and i'm not saying you are! but this girl sounds alittle unstable,and she might try to make you're life hell. if you don't cover your azz your military career could explode in your face. good luck.

gotta agree with him on this one... also, dont date married women in the future. i know its hard not the be the "savior" of women in hard times ( like an abusive marriage) but just be their friends or w/e. otherwise, this is bound to happen again. and about working with her, just treat her the same way you did before you dated her.

[verysexyvirgo]

Special thanks to everyone who contributed to my post...I really appreciate the feedback. I was hurt, but I brought this on myself. I have learned a lesson about getting involved with a married woman. It was a mistake, and I know that cheating is not. It is a choice. She chooses to be promiscuous, and I choose to move forward. I put my career at stake, and that was not a wise thing to do.