keep trying or move on?

[someone]

I’ve spent the last two years in a long distance relationship which worked out pretty well for all but the last three months. I noticed in the last month that the relationship was taking a turn for the worst so I’ve been desperately trying to repair it. It was two weeks ago when my worst nightmare came true. Before I tell the story here was the situation. There was a lot of stress in our lives due to the fact of her finishing school and me making a career move. The past month we hadn’t had any time to ourselves, it was always spent with her parents. The story…

 

Early one Friday morning she sent me an email saying that she needed a weekend alone to work on a project for school. I was understanding but at the same time angry that she didn’t want to see me this weekend due to the fact that it would be our first weekend alone together in awhile. I sent an email back basically telling her if its not this weekend then I’ll see her next month. No more emails were exchanged that day and I was pissed off until about 7 pm when I realized that I was being an idiot for treating her this way. I called her home phone and got no answer then called her cell and again got no answer. I decided the thing to do was travel the 2 hours to her house with roses and apologize. During the trip I called her several more times with no answer. I kept thinking to myself, If she has so much work to do then why isn’t she home doing it? I reached her place at 10:45pm and to my surprise she wasn’t home. I waited until about 2am when she pulled into the parking lot with another guy. I sat there watching to see what was happening and then in an instant a knife was shoved through my heart. She got out of the passenger side of the truck and waited while the guy came around to her side and started kissing her. I then stepped out of my car and watched. She lifted her head and saw me standing there with arms crossed. I immediately blew up with all the cuss words in the book. I calmed down a little and asked her if we could talk. The guy left and we went inside. We talked until 4 am and she basically said that I wasn’t giving her what she needed in the relationship and I drove her to what she’s done. I left at 4:30am and drove back home. We talked at about 3pm that day and came to the conclusion that we needed to work things out. We decided to get together Monday and talk. I spent all day with her and things seemed right back to where they were. I decided that I would try to forgive and forget what happened Friday night and I would be committed to saving the relationship. I spent the night that night and left in the morning.

Due to something I had to do for work I found myself in her area wed. night and we met for dinner. Everything seemed to go really well and I felt like we were making great strides to getting back on the right path.The next day the guy she was kissing called her and asked her to dinner, she accepted. She called me right away and told me that she was going out with him and she wasn’t planning on hiding anything from me. The whole night I worried and worried about what was happening. I called a couple times and got no answer. She finally called me at 1 am and said she got home at 10pm but fell aspleep. The following Friday I cancelled my trip and went to visit her again. Everything went well until Saturday night when I found a lighter and a pocket knife hidden under a stuffed animal in her room. I blew up! She told me the guy probably planted them there to piss me off. I can almost believe it because they were set on the floor side by side and covered so perfectly that one could not expect they had just fallen there. She claimed that he was playing with the dog in the room and that he had set his jacket on the bed and that was the only reason he was in the room. I threatened to leave and she didn’t even try to stop me. Many more things were said that night, a little crying from each of us and I found myself sleeping on the couch. Before she went to bed she said that she was committed to making this relationship work and kissed me goodnight. The following day went well. I apologized for blowing up on her and told her that I know she wouldn’t do the things I was thinking she did. I now find myself 12 hours away for work and I won’t be seeing her this weekend. I offered to fly or drive up there just to be with her and she declined because she needs to be alone to clear her mind. At the moment I have decided to be supportive and trust her meanwhile, she’s never said anything to make me trust her such as “I told the other guy to get lost” or anything like that. Right now I am feeling that I’ve put the ball in her court and she can do anything she wants in the relationship.

 

Things she’s said to me.

 

This other guy would hurt her.

He’s a divorcee and she’s catholic so it would never work out.

She had romantic feelings for him

She only saw him twice in the past two years.

She doesn’t know if she’ll see him again

She hasn’t told him to get lost

They haven’t spoken since Thursday.

She doesn’t know what she wants

She doesn’t know where this is going to go

She loves me.

 

This girl is the love of my life and also my best friend. I desperately want things to work out with her but I am having trust issues. I want to trust her but I keep having doubts. Everytime I talk to her we have a good conversation and my worries seem to disappear for a couple hours and then I start thinking negatively again. Finally my question, Should I wait for her to figure things out which could end in my favor or should I just move on and deal with the pain now?

[jalexy]

i cant read this whole thing, but dude MOVE ON. she blamed YOU for her cheating!! thats freaking amazing!

this girl sees that you have some kind of low self esteem and will take her cheating and lying ass. SHE LIED AND CHEATED ON YOU. how can you love someone like that? how can you call her your best friend? you are lying to yourself. dump her and move on. i have no care in the world for this girl, shes a waste of everyones time.

[Summerday]

Your situation is difficult, because if you feel she is the love of your life and your best friend, no matter what people's advice is to you, you will give her the time she needs and wait for her, that is the way love is. My advice is give yourself a time-frame, if within that time frame you see no effort on her part, then maybe she has moved on or wants to move on. Also, try and not contact her anymore, let her call you and miss you. She needs to feel you are not there for her anymore so that she can make a decision. Right now it seems she has the best of both worlds. Good luck to you, but remember there is someone for everyone in this world. I'm sure there is someone else out there who will steal your heart, if she doesn't get it together.

[someone]

good advice but easier said than done. Its very hard not to call.