White Flower Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 So I go to the auto store today and buy some supplies for my car. The young clerk is more than happy to help me find just what I need. After he rings me up he says, 'I'm sure you hear this all the time, but you have the most beautiful eyes.' I thanked him and looked down at his left hand when I noticed a giant, glistening wedding band and walked away. I got to thinking, 'Am I a MM magnet?'. No, I'm not. Unless we all are because it seems that so many MM try to get more outside the M. I remember when confessing my A to my friends almost every single one of them shared with me that they too had been involved in an A at least once in their life whether they were married or single at the time. I was shocked to say the least. So this morning's happening got me wondering how many MM are not only having affairs, but are TRYING to have affairs. How many times have you been hit on by a MM? I can think of four in my lifetime but only succumbed to the last one. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 at least 20 in my lifetime. seriously. they think as long as they throw it out there you may bite... i never did bite, in fact i always told them - hey i'm married (while i was) and since i'm D - hey, you're married - remember? sheeez. do they think they always need to try? i think it's just to stroke their ego to see if some gals may just take the bait... like a numbers game and they want better odds. Link to post Share on other sites
Author White Flower Posted May 12, 2009 Author Share Posted May 12, 2009 I've had quite a few flirt, but being hit on is a little different. Today there was definitely that sense of him wanting me to take the bait. I wonder if I had taken the bait, would he back off and say it was just a compliment? I wonder how many 'compliments' are just compliments or really bait? Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Too many to count, including a minister. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 I've had quite a few flirt, but being hit on is a little different. Today there was definitely that sense of him wanting me to take the bait. I wonder if I had taken the bait, would he back off and say it was just a compliment? I wonder how many 'compliments' are just compliments or really bait? i've often wondered this when i make it clear it's not going where they intend - then they backpedal. doesn't matter really, i'm sure a lot of gals along the way take a compliment to an extreme and open the door further. i think it's usually designed that way... i just say - "ooooh, that's so sweet of you... you are nice" then walk away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author White Flower Posted May 12, 2009 Author Share Posted May 12, 2009 Too many to count, including a minister. Wow, how disappointing. How did you turn him down? Link to post Share on other sites
Author White Flower Posted May 12, 2009 Author Share Posted May 12, 2009 i've often wondered this when i make it clear it's not going where they intend - then they backpedal. doesn't matter really, i'm sure a lot of gals along the way take a compliment to an extreme and open the door further. i think it's usually designed that way... i just say - "ooooh, that's so sweet of you... you are nice" then walk away. I saw a MM from the past who heavily pursued me. I REALLY didn't want to talk to him so when I saw him I literally ran and hid. My daughter asked me why I gasped. I actually gasped out loud! Link to post Share on other sites
stampdaddy Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 I have been hit on by about 6 MM... it's quite uncomfortable.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author White Flower Posted May 12, 2009 Author Share Posted May 12, 2009 I have been hit on by about 6 MM... it's quite uncomfortable.... Ah Stampy, it's not so bad. All you have to do is bat those pretty lashes of yours and say, 'Thanks but no thanks.' Thanks for dropping in on this thread. Link to post Share on other sites
wildsoul Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 I have a strong boundary around MM (recent ex was the only exception) that it rarely happens to me. I tend to nip it in the bud. But here's a recent story... There's a clerk at my local grocery, who's had a crush on me for the last 2 years. Evidenced by his blushing, fumbling, unable to speak, until one day he finally said something about how how he was always so happy to see me and stopped just short of asking me out. Last week, I noticed he was acting differently toward me. More "professional" and wouldn't look me in the eyes. Then I noticed that he had a NEW wedding ring on. So he was behaving. I don't know how long he was engaged and if the flirty stuff was when he had a gf or not, but now that the ring is on--he's a total gentleman. Link to post Share on other sites
JeezLouise Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 I get lots of flirty talk, but probably only 2 or 3 real "hits" in the past 10 years. Link to post Share on other sites
Author White Flower Posted May 12, 2009 Author Share Posted May 12, 2009 Very interesting about the wedding ring. ExMM once engaged in a converstation with a woman who found his ring a topic of conversation. He told her that he never took it off in (enter number) years. My ass! It came off the finger every time we met! It made me wonder if to some men that ring is a symbol of honor and duty while to others it meant, 'Hey, this means I'm a pretty good catch!'. Link to post Share on other sites
Heather1 Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Nope, only one & over a year later. That's why I'm shocked I'm here. I work w/ all men in an all male environment too. I probably see hundreds of men a day @ work. I think I'm your typical "Bridges of Madison County" fan & got the real version. Link to post Share on other sites
Author White Flower Posted May 12, 2009 Author Share Posted May 12, 2009 What do you mean by 'Bridges' fan and getting the real version? That you fell in love? If so, welcome to the club! If I'm wrong, please splain Lucy. Link to post Share on other sites
wildsoul Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 It made me wonder if to some men that ring is a symbol of honor and duty while to others it meant, 'Hey, this means I'm a pretty good catch!'. Hahahaha! Why not? TONS of women wave those rocks around as if the ring is a symbol that demonstrates their value. The bigger the ring, the hotter they think they are! Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Hahahaha! Why not? TONS of women wave those rocks around as if the ring is a symbol that demonstrates their value. The bigger the ring, the hotter they think they are! yep, and a lot of them aren't REAL diamonds... i know tons of women who wear lots of fake jewelry because they're afraid they'll lose the real thing. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Wow, how disappointing. How did you turn him down? I was more pissed off than disappointed. It was disgusting. I didn't turn him down as so much threaten to tell his wife, which I did anyway. Prick. Link to post Share on other sites
Author White Flower Posted May 12, 2009 Author Share Posted May 12, 2009 Hahahaha! Why not? TONS of women wave those rocks around as if the ring is symbol that demonstrates their value and hotness. True! The bigger the ring the better the H, M, lifestyle? 'My big rocks says I give great....'??? All misconceptions aside, symbols such as wedding bands can really make us think silly things. Link to post Share on other sites
Author White Flower Posted May 12, 2009 Author Share Posted May 12, 2009 I was more pissed off than disappointed. It was disgusting. I didn't turn him down as so much threaten to tell his wife, which I did anyway. Prick. Good for you. This was a man who knows darn well he is supposed to set the example of what a good man should be. His W needed to know. Link to post Share on other sites
Heather1 Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Just fell into a romantic fairy tale....the "what if" & I didn't want to pass it by. Now I just want it to stop. I do worry about other men "sensing" I'm now available. I'm not, I'm a total Tom-boy & not a head turner. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 In my job search I've been going to a lot of networking events and outplacement classes. Without exception, the room is always packed with middle-aged men, most of them married. (I live in a big city, and all the big companies are executing massive tidal waves of layoffs... and from the looks of it they're starting at the top, getting rid of those with the most seniority = highest salaries.) These men stare at me, flirt with me, get physically close to me, want to talk to me/sit next to me. They are unfailingly polite, but geez you'd think they'd let it go for ONE MINUTE and concentrate on where their bread and butter is going to come from! I thought losing a job was DEVASTATING to men, with their identities so tied up in their work. Apparently the little head can take over even that. I've learned not to take any of it seriously at all. In fact I feel like I'm developing an art form into being careful not to feed into it in any way, all the while being completely unobtrusive about it, and also making sure at least one girlfriend is around at all times. It's some kind of silent social code, and everybody gets the message. Sheesh. I know it's just men being men. I really don't think they mean anything by it. But dang, don't you guys EVER give it a rest??!? Link to post Share on other sites
Author White Flower Posted May 12, 2009 Author Share Posted May 12, 2009 Openbook you just reminded me of another man who hit on me. I just can't remember if he was married, but I think he was. And there have been too many older men to stare at me to count. Not sure that counts as 'hitting' on me. But boy, it seems the older the eyes the deeper the penetration into the soul. Link to post Share on other sites
boldjack Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Well WF, Can you blame these guys for thinking that you are wicked hot? And BTW, it's not always women that get hit on, I'm having trouble with a neighbor, who would like nothing better than for me to "come over to her house for coffee', or "could I please fix her leaky shower head", or "She's too weak to clean her gutters",........ breathless, and chest(ample) heaving. My junk says yes, my mind says no, thank God I know which one to listen to. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Quite a number of MM hit on me. Only fell for one that actually left his wife etc but it didn't work out the way we wanted it to. I have 2 recently married guy friends - both texted me after a week, the other a few months of marriage - that they want to have an affair. How rude! Link to post Share on other sites
jj33 Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Most of the men I come in contact with are married and its not unusual for them to hit on me. But I dont take it personally - I think for many of them its just a numbers game... It annoys me and in business i find it particularly disrepectful because if someone really respected me they woudnt want to risk the insulting me with inappropriate behavior. Of course some of them think that women should find their advances flattering... I think it says alot more about them than it does about the "hittee". Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts