m3rmaid Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 I tried to read many posts in hope to find my answer or comfort in some ways.. but i havn't came upon a similar situation yet.. so your advice is really appreciated. cuz i'm really a mess over here make long story short, the boy goes to my college and we are both sophmores. i transfered here in january and we'v been talkin since march; two months and some days yea but i really fell hard since day 1, everything was already so perfect. he's very open about emotions and encouraged me to put my guard down and not be a tough girl all the time (that's how i always am with other boys). we could talk about anything and it was too good to be true. i usually don't like soft boys who show emotions all the time, but i loved how we were soft for each other it was a first for me. i was the happiest girl ever since march 1st. until mid april, his leaving was finalized and he was stressed(he needed to find a new school asap, it was issues regarding the basketball). he started to pull away and i made sure to let him know that i'm there for him, he was appreciative. and before you know it, he became the tough boy. we stil talk, a lot but it was clear that he def pulled away. he wouldn't see me and he said it's cuz he doesn't want to get any closer because of the fact that he's leaving there's no point. he is so set on the idea that just because he;s going back to FL, that we would never see each other again. n i have a complete different outlook on the situation. i feel like we should enjoy the last couple of weeks we have together instead of him avoiding me.... n that we will see each other.. i understand a relationship won't work .. but i feel like he's shuttin the door and lockin it up and throwin away the key. now only days away from his leave, i'm bawling every other day, he's just being too cool with it. feel like he doesn't care he's completely fine with the situation. he used to tell me how he hates the situation now that he met me.. but now it's just .. not many words.. i need a way to feel better.. cuz i'm a mess now.. whenever i think about the good times we had n the good times we could have had.... Link to post Share on other sites
Bearandsue Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Oh I am so sorry this is happening to you. I am not sure of the question here. But it seems to me he is not willing to consider the option of a LDR. Have you guys discussed it? Try talking to him about it. But please bear in mind that LDRs take TOTAL commitment from both person involved. Wish you all the best. Link to post Share on other sites
LonelyTiger Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 I'm so sorry m3rmaid. This must be heartbreaking for you. I would love to offer you some words that make you feel better, but the truth of it seems to be that he isn't prepared to consider a LDR - I am assuming here that you have discussed the possiblity? You say 'I understand a relationship won't work' - why is that? There are a lot of people on the LS LDR forum who are making their relationships work just fine - more than just fine in many cases. Maybe he isn't really 'cool' with it. Maybe it's just his way of coping because he believes it has to end when he moves away. If he knows how you're feeling and you've discussed a LDR but he isn't interested then, as difficult as it may be, you will probably just have to say goodbye. An LDR will work if you both really want it to but, as Bearandsue says, it has to be TOTAL commitment on both sides. If it really is over, then the best advice I can give to make you feel better is to suggest you spend as much time with your friends and family as possible. It may be hard to do but go out, have fun, meet new people and the pain will eventually subside. I really wish you well and I do hope that things go the way you want them to. Link to post Share on other sites
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