Jump to content

What am I doing


WhatamIdoing

Recommended Posts

Hi, Im new here and I am glad I found this place. I just have a few questions about my own character. Im not sure why I do what I do when I get into a realationship. I will try to make this short. In general- I always think I know what I want until I have it. Recently- me and a X boyfriend got back together- I never expected to see this guy ever again. However- a different X-boyfriend(years ago) who I am still friends with ran into him- gave him my number and one thing leads to another and we are back together again. I always thought this is what I wanted because I ruined things with him the first time. Now that we are back together I fear that all my insecurities and doubts have followed me even though I thought he was the one. I even moved to another state for this realationship. Now I am missing my recent X that lives back in my home state. We had a good realationship and I liked him alot-he could of been the one but we went out for a long time and things became boreing or something. Anyway- I cheated on him and never told him. I think at that point I talked myself out of the realationship because guilt tore me up- he deserved better. Anyway- he is nearing just writing me off cus I moved and he can not stand the thought of me with this other guy which is understandable. I do like this guy but I guess Im one of those who always thinks the grass will be greener somewhere else and I know that this is not usually the case. I guess my biggest fear when I enter a realationship is the returning doubts- perhaps fear of things growing old. Perhaps I just always want what I don't have. Im honestly not sure why I do these things or why I can't find happiness. Why do I keep hurting these people? Please HELP! Your thoughts and suggestions are appreciated.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Until you decide what you want. Apparently you don't really love either of these guys, or you would not be thinking of the other. Eventually you'll have to make a decision. In the meantime don't let the guy you're with become too invested if you think you'll move back to boyfriend #1.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 1 month later...

Maybe you should go to counseling and figure out why you are doing these things. I mean your actions seem like the general outline of insecurity about committing yourself to another. Most times I would come down on you because you cheated but you seem genuinely confused. Please get some help, perhaps there is some underlying issues that need to be resolved having nothing to do with your relationships at all. Your past, ect. I don't know, I'm no Psychologist but its a thought.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...