saldep Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 well we have been seperated now for some time,we talk about once a week,last text i sent her was just a "hi" next day she called and wanted some advice, and then asked if i would like to go to the movies with her and my step kids, i did,(star trek) after the movies we talked alittle bit,she let me give her a kiss on the lips. we have this hand gesture we do that means i love you ,and before she got in her car she gave me the sign. anyway that was friday. sunday on mothers day i text her to say have a wonderful day and no response, and i have tried calling no answer. she swears she isnt seeing anyone and would not do that to herself and kids,seems she only calls or contact me when she needs something,3 weeks ago she said she would like to work things out, but why then the cold shoulder. I am confused and can not figure out what she wants,any advice on what she maybe feeling or doing?? and should i keep trying to talk to her or go nc. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 What do *you* want? You do know that physical separation, absent MC, is the pathway to divorce, right? She's merely using you as a tool, offering enough contact and a modicum of affection to keep you working. My wife does this too. I know exactly what's going on Link to post Share on other sites
seibert253 Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 Stringing you along my man. Hate to say it, but I'm not going to tell you what you want to hear, but what you need to hear. Don't be surprised if there's someone else. Most women don't just check out of a marriage unless they are seeing someone else, or seriously contemplating it. Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 She's pulling your strings. Don't waste anymore time on this, do the NC or minimal contact. She could be indecisive or she could be full of sh*t. The only way to know for sure is ignoring her and see where that leads. Link to post Share on other sites
Author saldep Posted May 13, 2009 Author Share Posted May 13, 2009 hopesandreams, what do you mean by indecisive,about another person or being with me? Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 I can't say for definite there's another man in her life but by the way she is playing you, there very well could be. Hot/cold. Chances are there is someone else in the picture. She's biding her time and will make a decision on who she'll be with. She could very much enjoy having 2 men in her life though and stall on making that decision. If you will always be around for her, she will not miss you, she will not respect you and will most likely drop you. Link to post Share on other sites
CM2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 Hey bro your situation sounds a lot like mines a little bit. But all I can say his hang in there, she may or may not be seeing someone just trying to decide. But like my situation I wouldn't put it past it. Just be strong and try to find other things to take up your time, you'll make it through. Link to post Share on other sites
Author saldep Posted May 13, 2009 Author Share Posted May 13, 2009 you could be right but she says there isnt and i have never known her to lie , we were married for 8 years and never once did i catch her lieing shes not that kind of person, but i am also not nieve enough to think to protect someone or something that she wouldnt. she says the om in her life is her 2 sons. one thing about her she is very insecure about herself,very self contience about her looks and her body. she always ask me if she looks to skinny ect ect. there were alot of dynamics to the relationship that led up to her moving out.maybe i can explain later. but anyway,my faith will not let me divorce(yet) and i still love her. we were never mean or ugly to each other and the sex was moderate to good. I just dont understand what she is going through,if she could explain i could be more apt to help her or move on, her answer to everything is i dont know. anyway any more input would be helpful and thanks for getting back to me hopesndreams Link to post Share on other sites
Steadfast Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 Don't believe anything she tells you. Sorry to be blunt, but you need to know where you're at: quite a way down the totem pole, most likely. Someone once told me women act confused or indecisive when their options don't really thrill them. That would explain her hot and cold behavior. Again, it is probably true that if she had a clear-cut choice or was offered what she really wanted (from the other man) she'd probably take it in a heartbeat. Many of us have been (or are, in fact) right where you are. Turn off the game. Show her with your actions that you demand fairness and happiness in your life. That -with or without her- you will have it. The thing is, to really sell it you _must_ mean it. If you don't, she'll know. Put yourself back in a position of attractiveness to her; the man she once or remembers loving. Strong, confident. Even if you have to fake it at first, like any other skill, you will get better with practice. Be the man. Show her. If it works, then you have decisions to make. If it doesn't, then she's checked out and there is nothing you could have done anyway. Give it time...it will not happen overnight. Months, at best. That's the truth. If she leaves, all is not lost because you have made yourself stronger. Don't change who you are, just demand better. In time someone special will see it and respond. Learn from this. What other choice do you have? Link to post Share on other sites
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