Yellow Fever

[Dreamrunner]

It seems guys have a thing for Asian women these days. I know it's a huge generalization, but at least in my area, every single guy has the yellow fever. Talking to some male friends, they say it's because they have a very exotic look, which is a huge bonus.

 

However, when talking to some of my lady friends, they said that all things being equal, Asain guys are the least attractive. I asked more friends and they seem to confirm this, even the Asian ones. Being an Asain male myself, I found this news quite disheartening since in the dating scene, alot of the inital judgements are superficial in nature, and it would seem that I'm at a larger disadvantage. I mean, where's our luvin?

 

So my question is do girls elsewhere also find this true? If so, what is it that, all else being equal, makes Asain guys less attractive? And are there any girls who find Asain guys more attractive? Any thoughts?

[ArdeaCandidissima]

Race and culture and sex...sounds like an explosive combo. Flame away, I have nothing to fear after what I've already admitted on Loveshack.

 

I am a Caucasian female, and I am afraid that as a group, Asian males are lowest on my list of attractiveness. Why? Well, for one reason, where I live in the Pacific Northwest, many/most of the Asian males are geeky nerds who are recent immigrants. As a gross generalization, they don't know how to dress, how to talk, how to act, how to dance, how to have fun, how to joke or smile or laugh, how to take care of their bodies, or how to make friends, so I can't imagine anyone trying to find out whether they know how to make love. They just seem kind of...not in the game. PRC/Chinese being worst in this.

 

Well-assimilated males of Asian origin who are adept in the above do better, but they do still seem at a disadvantage (in my eyes) compared to almost any other group. I cannot explain it, but I know it is real for me.

[jenny]

wow! you, my love, have gigantic balls! nothing is more impressive to me than someone who know that their truths are not PC, emerge from a culture that probably values PC-ness, and is honest anyway!

 

i feel the same way, a bit, and i know it comes from endless media images of what constitutes an alpha male. but i would never have the courage to post it.

 

jesus, you rock, i'm not kidding, i'm totally amazed. i don't think i've ever seen a woman do that before.

[moimeme]

I also live in the Pacific Northwest. I ballroom dance and there are a lot of Asian fellows who dance. In fact, my very favourite dance partner is an older gentleman from China. As a rule, I haven't been attracted to many Asian fellows but it's because of mass more than anything. I'm almost 5'8" and, while I don't mind fellows being close to my height, I prefer them to be solidly built and many Asian gentlemen are very slight in build. I have seen some taller and huskier fellows who were quite attractive, but not really a large number of them.

[cindy0039]

I was thinking along the same lines. I'm 5'7" and have always preferred my men on the larger side also. And just judging from my personal experiences with Asian men, they do seem very reserved and pretty unemotional. I like men who are more gregarious, outgoing and demonstrative. But, in general, one thing they having going for them is that most are pretty cerebral and I like that.

[Dreamrunner]

Originally posted by ArdeaCandidissima

I am a Caucasian female, and I am afraid that as a group, Asian males are lowest on my list of attractiveness. Why? Well, for one reason, where I live in the Pacific Northwest, many/most of the Asian males are geeky nerds who are recent immigrants. As a gross generalization, they don't know how to dress, how to talk, how to act, how to dance, how to have fun, how to joke or smile or laugh, how to take care of their bodies, or how to make friends, so I can't imagine anyone trying to find out whether they know how to make love. They just seem kind of...not in the game. PRC/Chinese being worst in this.

 

You know what, I've noticed the same thing. The Chinese where I go to school are for the most part either rich HK superstars that snub everyone else, or the nerdy kind that ArdeaCandidissima was talking about. I was born and raised in the prairies of North America, and putting it quite frankly, you will never meet a more "white" Asian guy than me. Don't get me wrong, I'm pround of my heritage and I've been able to win women over with my personality. But it always seems like I'm fighting an uphill battle, especially when trying to attract the caucasian females.

 

Originally posted by jenny

i feel the same way, a bit, and i know it comes from endless media images of what constitutes an alpha male.

 

Just out of curiousity, what do you feel constitutes an alpha male, and how is it missing in Asian males?

[jenny]

this is just straight up media brainwashing - i think men undergo just as much pressure from media as women do -

 

i suppose what other posters have said - brawny; larger than me; <though that's not hard, i'm only 5.5> strong, dominant, blah blah blah. it's not something hollywood connects with asian male culture.

 

this is only for looking around out at clubs, etc, superficial examination only. when it comes down to guys i'd like to date for awhile, wit and intelligence supercede all other things, certainly race.

 

 

 

i have to say, you are so cool about this! most people would have flamed in response!.

[Dreamrunner]

Originally posted by jenny

i have to say, you are so cool about this! most people would have flamed in response!.

 

I don't know if there's anything to flame. I think it's personal preference is all, an dI can't hold that against people. So far, these responses have been enlightening for me. At least now I have some sense of why. I'll admit that it bothers me when women dismiss me on the sole reason that I'm Asian, but hey, they don't want to get to know me, it's their loss. I guess it'll make that one special someone even more special.

 

Any more opinions? I'd love to hear them.

 

Edited because I kan't speel

[subtitled]

I know a half asian/ half aussie guy and he is what i would call good looking - he has nicely browned skin, a defined jaw etc. is aussie through and through as he was born here and has grown up here. However, i wasn't really attracted to him and we didn't have much in common when he showed interest in me. Nevertheless, i would still call him attractive.

 

I write for a webzine, and my editor is to my knowledge, Chinese Australian, in that he is full blood Chinese, but brought up in australia. I've never met him as this is an internet publication, and he lives in another city. However, he is moving up soon enough to my city. Talking to him on the internet, he is very intelligent, funny, we have a lot in common etc. i'm very attracted to his personality, but i'm worried that when i actually meet him in person, i wont be attracted physically. Like many of the others, i find that yes, asian males just don't appeal to me... i would probably also attribute it to years of brainwashing, but it's something i just can't explain. I like to think of my self as open minded, but for some reason i can't justify, i don't generally find asian men attractive. It makes me sad, when i think they're usually such nice people - well my editor certainly is. I also have many asian girl friends, and they're cool too. So i don't know. i wish it wasn't the way it is, but i can't exactly convince myself to be attracted to someone.

[monkey00]

I'm a chinese-american guy, growing up in nyc where it's very ethnically mixed and going to HS where ethnicities ofall type is there. i can say that it's up to the person to show an interest or not in getting to know someone.

 

My english is very good since i came here around age 5, and dress as white as any other white guy. But it's also up to personality and characteristics that make a person who they are, no one can change what makes you unique.

I think I understand well why caucasians or other ethnicities are not into asian guys, many people like to stereotype different races based on experiences..movies(extremely big role)..and general knowledge about them.

 

Where I live, in certain parts of the city..I see lots of caucasian guys going out with asian women, but the fact is, that asian woman hangs out with his caucasian friends also.

 

I rarely see asian guys going out with caucasian women, but when i do...it's together along with a caucasian group of friends.

 

Through my experiences and observations, having lived in nyc for the majority of my life...I can say that asian people in general have a rough time of being accepted by people outside of their race.

They would really have to work hard to join their so called "group"

things such as dressing, talking...sharing the same ideas,and just "acting more caucasian"

 

But i would say just about any ethnical group has about the same situation.

That's how it is sometimes, you try your hardest in being accepted but not everyone will always as "open minded" as you may be...it's rough..since the fact that most people in general feel more content in hanging out or going out with their own ethnic group

[Guestx]

OP said "But it always seems like I'm fighting an uphill battle, especially when trying to attract the caucasian females."

 

Why are you only pursuing caucasian females? Aren't you discriminating as much as you're being discriminated against, socially speaking?

[Guestx]

If it's a matter of size, then smaller guys of any race would have the same dating problem, and the generalization about Asian men being small is invalid by the way. As I can think of quite a few tall, dark, and handsome men of Asian descent who probably wouldn't give you (God know what you look like) caucasian females the time of day.

[MrMephistophles]

Ever think for even a minute that it might be you that has a bit of a bigotry problem?

Come off it for a minute, and perhaps you will come to the realization that this “y-fever” as you call it ever so ineloquently, might be the result of a calculated choice based on things other than simple looks? In my experience American Girls(I won’t say white because Canadians and Europeans simply don’t fit this mold) typically have outlandish expectations based far more on the work of Walt Disney than reality.

 

Then too these expectations are matched in stupidity only by the overall immaturity of your incessant mind games/temper tantrums all designed to whip your poor sap into something he is not, your own personal Ken Doll. In other words you are woefully immature no matter what your health teacher told you about girls developing faster than boys. Now there are exceptions to this rule, but they are mostly either Mormon, or so right wing as to make Pat Buchanan blush.

 

Did you ever think for a minute that perhaps men of Asian descent (and an increasing number of wise men of Anglo descent) are intelligent enough to see that you are all little girls inside just waiting for some Batman to save you? Its pathetic! So have heart Asian guys, you aren’t missing out on much…if you want a girl who happens to be white look to the North or across the Atlantic!

[dyermaker]

I don't find it the least bit racist to prefer partners of a certain ethnicity. It's a matter of physical attraction, and if the features of a certain race are not attractive to you, one shouldn't have to pretend that they are in the interest of political correctness.

[Ring Out]

Being open about liking anime isn't going to help you either. If your thumbnail isn't an anime figure, I appologize.

[dyermaker]

Originally posted by Ring Out

Being open about liking anime isn't going to help you either. If your thumbnail isn't an anime figure, I appologize.

Now you're just being mean.

 

Take it from someone who's been there, don't ever pretend you are interested in something you are not, just to get a girl. Because someday, the girl will realize that you're not interested in what you said you were. I wish I could go back and tell myself this years ago, and I never would have to deal with choir

[Ring Out]

I'm not telling him to fake being an all-star athlete or anything. God. Lets be honest. Lets not tell this person lies. If he wants to keep a girl interested, he should leave the anime conversation untill the relationship has gone on for a couple months.

 

Whens the right time to bring up that you're an anime fan?

1) When you're on Jerry Springer and your gf has revealed to you she's a man.

 

2)Not untill long after your dead and you request in your Will that all your anime products (videos, action figures, comics) be burried with you.

 

3)When you're completely not interested in getting laid at all.

[Don_Malave_san]

Thanks RingOut!! *writes them down*.

 

I must say that i'm very sad now ... anime is like 70% of what I am.

But... why would it be a bad thing? You know, talking about anime.

[amerikajin]

I'm an American guy who has a very bad case of yellow fever, but that's not to say that I don't find beautiful women in other ethnicities. I think the thing I find about Asian women - particularly those who live in Asia - is that they are very well kept. I don't mean this as a slight, but with all the fast food in North America, too many women are just plain outta shape (guys, too, of course...I was turning into a round mound myself til I came here).

 

Asian women also have the appeal of being ultra feminine. They're soft, slender, speak in a higher pitched voice, tend not to be overly aggressive when in the presence of a male...in short, they're a husky guy's dream in many ways.

 

I find that Asian women do have their negatives, though. There are times when I really miss the forthrightness of North American women. I sometimes miss the drive and challenges that North American women pose, and sometimes Asian women can outright bore the s*** out of me. North American women know how to make me laugh. I realize some of it is lack of mutual cultural awareness, but even those who do understand English well don't really make me laugh or strike me as particularly possessive of a sharp wit when it comes to humor (otherwise, they're every bit as bright as I am of course).

 

As for why Asian guys don't get the love from North American women, my guess is I that it's most likely a clash of virtues. Asian men tend to be socially cautious and circumspect; North American women want their men to be bold, forthright and assertive. Asian men are often ambitious, and that works in their favor; however, I think many North American women believe that Asian men are in love with computers and jobs, and nothing else. Asian men traditionally tend to prefer stoicism and silent strength; North American look for the strong silent types, but ones who can occasionally cut up and have some fun. Asian men are conditioned to be consistent at all costs; North American women want guys who aren't afraid to be spontaneous. I'm obviously in no position to challenge the women on what they do or don't find attractive in a guy, though I hope I've added some things for the women on this forum to think about. Maybe I'm off base here...I don't know. My guess is that if you could convince North American women that you're Asian in ethnicity but Canadian in your spirit, you'd probably do just fine. I've met Asian guys who are quite successful with the ladies, but in each case, they were obviously the same in character as their white, black or latino counterparts.

[Jeff]

I think beauty is subjective and in the eyes of the beholder.

 

It wasn't too long ago when black men were not as sexually coveted as they are now by women of all races all over this world. I think media and socio-political factors play factors in interracial dating/mating game. Let's not deny that there aren't too many women who are thrilled with the idea of dating an Asian man (regardless of his physical attraction and personality). People, esp. young people are dating an image and stereotype, not really dating a person for who he or she is on the inside.

 

I can assure you that the image (physical attraction and appeal) of Asian men would change overnight in the minds of women, if they were exposed in the media like what has now happened to young black men.

[amerikajin]

I agree up to a point. I do think that the media portrays all ethnicities a certain way so that they fit into a certain profile.

 

But I don't think it's purely about media-driven stereotypes, either. Ultimately, though, the discussion is moot as it pertains to the individuals involved in a relationship. I've known Asian guys who were much better at picking up women than I am, but in each of these cases, they were clearly Western in their behavior - and that's what I was saying before: if you're Western in spirit, then Western women will generally be attracted to you regardless of your race.

[BigB]

I think the age group you belong to and the region of the U.S. you live in has a lot to do with this issue as well. I'm a male of Asian descent but was born and raised in the U.S. Going to a large university in the West Coast, getting dates from caucasian girls has never been an issue. They seem to be as receptive as asian girls from my experience. If anything, they're more receptive because there are several asian girls that will "only date white guys" (their loss) while there are fewer caucasian girls with that kind of attitude. Now I'm sure if I belonged to an older age group or lived in the Midwest, my experience would be different.

[sdgddsgf]

i am white and my awesome boyfriend is Filipino. I have to say i never wanted or had the desire to date asians because they are very different in their culture. they are usually smaller, many dont treat women well, and money is a huge object with them. But of course, this is not true for all, such as the guy i am with. so it really isnt all about race....its about how you come off, about how you handle yourself and treat others.

[sarah12]

I can assure you that the image (physical attraction and appeal) of Asian men would change overnight in the minds of women, if they were exposed in the media like what has now happened to young black men.

 

I completely agree with this. People of all races are being portrayed as a particular stereotype on TV and it is a major contributing factor to the way we portray others in society.

 

There are beautiful people of all races, and I personally don't have a problem dating any of them. For me though, I am attracted to a particular look (not too tall, clean cut, polite and proper) and these characteristics can belong to a man of any race.

 

As for the original poster - I actually find some Asian men are very attractive. However, I've been told that they find me intimidating.

[CaterpillarGirl]

Originally posted by Ring Out

Being open about liking anime isn't going to help you either. If your thumbnail isn't an anime figure, I appologize.

 

Why? Unless you are talking about the anime porn industry, I don't think saying you like anime is any worse than saying you like stupid horror flicks or movies starring Tara Reid.

 

Some of us chicks dig anime, too. Or how do you account for 70% of Sailor Moon products (please, tell me guys are buying SM hairbrushes)?

 

Dyer's right, if anime is important to you, don't act like it's not.