AGE AND LONG DISTANCE LOVE

[Neicy]

Hello, everyone. I have been involved with this nice guy for about a couple of months. We enjoy each other and have fn when we are together. But the problem is that he lives in North Carolina and I live in South Carolina. There is only a 3 hour difference between us, but it is possible to maintain a relationship with the distance separating each other. We see each other at least 2 or 3 times during the month, sometimes more. How do we continue the relationship with the distance?

[OH WISE ONE]

First off- let me say: If you are posting to this board

 

regarding this situation, you are already unhappy with either the relationship or the distance. Decide which it is and work from there. If it is only the distance: Where is your heart? If with him, you must find a way to be closer

 

Whether or not this means one of you moving, changing employment, etc./ If however it is the relationship: Do each of you a favor and move on, Do not blame distance for lack of moving forward in this relationship.

 

I am wondering what kind of age diference lies beween you two? Perhaps, this distance is quite a convienence after all?

[D.]

First of all, it is good to hear that the distance between you is not that great. However 3 hours is not that much of a hardship to drive each weekend and, if he (or you) are not working on the weekends, why are one of you not taking the opportunity to make the trip every weekend? If neither of you drive, there is public transporation to be used. In other words, if you are an "item", that short of a distance should not be keeping you apart at least each weekend.

 

Relationships need work, effort. Care and kindness to be shown to each other ...... WHILE BEING YOURSELF. In most long distance relationships, since you only see each other on the rare occasion, you are both on your best behavior and hardly get the opportunity to see the real you (and him) that you are. This is NOT good in forming an honest, communicative, real picture type of relationship where you get to know each other for your personality flaws as well as the best side you tend to show.

 

This brings me back to why he is not making an effor to see you more than 2 or 3 times during the month. You say you have been seeing him for only a "couple of months". Just how well do you KNOW him and all about HIM besides what he chooses to show you? (I am sure he SHOWS you that he is an absolute dream of a Prince). Do you know anything about his life, friends and people he sees while in his home town?

 

Are you absolutely certain beyond any doubt that he is not seeing others as well as you?

 

Let's assume you are the only love of his life. In that case, on the rare occasion that you are together, it is imperative that you show him the real you and insist that he do the same. That is the only way that you will be able to make an educated decision as to whether he is Mr. Right or if you even wish to continue the relationship. You would be surprised beyond belief the differnce it may make between the both of you if he were more readily available.

 

Again, long distance relationships many times build up fantasies that just do not exist and if given the opprortunity to find out all the facets of his man's personality, you might be surprised at your new outlook.

[billy the kid]

well I would say if your serious about seeing this guy go out and buy a Geo, they are great on gas like 50 to the gallon, on Friday when you get off you can drive down and by the time you get there he will have had time to fix you a fabilous dinner... lobster sounds great....yes it can work!!!!! goood luck

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hello, everyone. I have been involved with this nice guy for about a couple of months. We enjoy each other and have fn when we are together. But the problem is that he lives in North Carolina and I live in South Carolina. There is only a 3 hour difference between us, but it is possible to maintain a relationship with the distance separating each other. We see each other at least 2 or 3 times during the month, sometimes more. How do we continue the relationship with the distance?