BrokenStrings Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 So I just registered and thought I could use some advice. I am going through the most complicated situation I think I've ever been in. My best friend and I have both known this girl for a while. We both tried to get with her, unsuccessfully, in the past. However, when I tried to get with her, she led me on really badly, and I still am not over it. The reason we didn't end up going out was because my best friend has just gotten over liking her, and she felt bad and didn't want to jeopardize certain things. I thought that I loved this girl. I can't think of a single thing about us that doesn't "click," and she has yet to give me a reason why things wouldn't work out or why she wasn't at least willing to give it a chance. I hang out with her all the time, and she is constantly happy and laughing when we're together. I had told myself that it had something to do with out friendship that made me undateable to her. I tell my best friend all the time about how crazy I am about her. Then yesterday, he calls me and tells me that him and her have been seeing each other for over a few weeks now. I haven't spoken to him since, and I've said only a few words to her. He told me all the time how he could never see her as more than a friend after his first little crush on her, and now this. I don't know what to feel. I feel betrayed by him, I feel insignificant because she is clearly willing to date a friend, and I am STILL unable to realize that I stand no chance with her. Basically, I guess I'm asking what to do. Do I just shun my friend and this girl? That is what I'm currently doing, and it is difficult, but every time I think of the two of them together I get furious. I don't know what to say if I were to try to talk to them, because I feel like I would just sound like a hopeless romantic incapable of getting over a girl. That's how I'm starting to feel. How do I get over her? My friends have said that she has been nothing but inconsiderate to me and that I should forget all about her and make amends with my friend. But I feel that my friend is the real culprit...but maybe that's just me being blinded by her. Really confused and in need of help. Link to post Share on other sites
Glenn Quagmire Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 The dude who said bros before hoes needs to get punched in the face. Its a bunch of bull**** and a copout for clowns like this to take what they want and not feel remorseful. But listen to Glenn ... by the tone of your post I'm assuming I'm at least 10 years older than you and probably slept with 195 or so more woman than you have ... I'll tell you how this story plays out. This is exciting to them. Your back (and them going behind it) is the glue that binds them. It feels naughty and complicated which kids your age (somewhere between 16-21?) really get off on. But as soon as that intrigue goes away, so does their relationship. If you start a relationship predicated on mistrust and secret lust, it has NO CHANCE of surviving anyway but you should help speed along its demise ... with complete indifference. You don't care. Separate yourself from emotion. Talk to him. Talk to her. Let them both know you don't care and make it sound believable. Eventually, they'll go back to not being right for each other once the intrigue that you brought to the table is gone. Theres even a chance that eventually she'll come on to you if the mood is just right and the alcohol is flowing. But Glenn's official advice is to stay away from her. A bitch who needs intrigue to create emotion is destined to be a side-ass cheat and a career whore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrokenStrings Posted May 14, 2009 Author Share Posted May 14, 2009 Thanks, that was actually really uplifting. I'm hoping that in time this will work itself out, but for now it just kinda sucks. And your right on in the age department, 19...is it that obvious? Link to post Share on other sites
Glenn Quagmire Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 I was your age once. There was NOTHING worse than feeling like second best. the idea that some girl you liked chose another guy over you is crippling. And the fact that he was your friend, that you probably compete with in some capacity every day, makes it 10x worse. You won't fully understand this now but eventually you'll reach a point where **** like this doesn't even phase you. It's natural for a guy your age to be extremely self conscious and a bit fragile. After you get a few more drunken casual-bangs under your belt and interact with more and more people you'll realize that sex and relationships are more about convenience, dumb luck or good timing. A more mature you would have shrugged this situation off early on after picking up her disinterest signals and wrote it off as a non-starter. But even if it did escalate to where you are now, you would understand that it doesn't mean you're less of a man than he is. This girl ... this time ... in this place just isn't right at this particular moment. And you'd throw your hat back in the ring, looking for something thats a better fit. Link to post Share on other sites
Untouchable_Fire Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Basically, I guess I'm asking what to do. Do I just shun my friend and this girl? That is what I'm currently doing, and it is difficult, but every time I think of the two of them together I get furious. I don't know what to say if I were to try to talk to them, because I feel like I would just sound like a hopeless romantic incapable of getting over a girl. That's how I'm starting to feel. How do I get over her? My friends have said that she has been nothing but inconsiderate to me and that I should forget all about her and make amends with my friend. But I feel that my friend is the real culprit...but maybe that's just me being blinded by her. Really confused and in need of help. Yes, this guy is not a friend at all. He called you after 2 weeks. What a douche! The girl is also a waste of space. I know it seems like you two click... but could you really date a girl that did something like this? I couldn't date a girl that did that to anybody. Don't let this get you down. It isn't about you in particular... it's about two selfish and deceitful people who really deserve each other. You deserve someone better! Link to post Share on other sites
Javelin Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 But listen to Glenn ... Did you really just type in the 3rd? Anyway, Both are no good and deserve each other... Don't worry, their relationship won't go too far. Link to post Share on other sites
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