mattea Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Ok, so I just moved to another state to be with my boyfriend and we're living together. I've moved into his apartment temporarily, but we'll be looking for a larger place in a month or two. My boyfriend has done a lot to make sure that I feel like it is my place too and I've rearranged things to fit whatever I could of my own stuff in here until we move. He also got rid of a lot of his own things to make room for me. I'm having one issue. Long ago when he was moving into some house he found some old advertisement out of some 70's magazine. It's basically porn - some ad for a 'massage parlor' with a collage of nude women. nothing too too graphic but it isn't like having a painting of a nude on your wall - it is more like porn. one pic is of this woman on all fours and it's a pic of her from behind. he go this framed and it is up in the bedroom. i get that he thinks it is kitchy and thought it was funny, but i hate looking at it every day when i wake up. i just hate looking at that on my wall every day in general. i don't want to be uptight. although i'm not into porn, i don't care if he looks at it - i just don't want it on my wall so that i'm forced to look at this woman's a** every day. i don't want to be controlling or petty or whatever. i though maybe i could wait until we move and then we are discussing what to put where in our new place and let him know then i don't like it. what do you think? should i bring this up and if so what can i say? Link to post Share on other sites
LonelyTiger Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 If it bothers you then 'yes' you should bring it up - in a non-confrontational way. Thank him for making the changes he has, tell him you really appreciate the effort he's made. Then bring up the picture, tell him you'd prefer not to have it in the bedroom (you're not personally into women's a***s though you can appreciate that he is!) and would be it be OK to move it somewhere else. If you wait until you move he's just going to assume you don't mind it - better to be open about your feelings from the start. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mattea Posted May 14, 2009 Author Share Posted May 14, 2009 Thanks for your response, lonelytiger. I guess the reason I was thinking of waiting until we moved is just what you said - I figure when we get to a bigger place maybe he'll have a room he can put it in where I won't have to see it much. Right now we are in a tiny apartment and there is nowhere else to move it to where I wouldn't have to look at it. It's in the bedroom, but our only other rooms are the bathroom and one big kitchen/living room combined where I work from home all day. So my request right now would have to be that he took it down altogether, cause there is nowhere it could go where I wouldn't be faced with looking at it all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 So my request right now would have to be that he took it down altogether, cause there is nowhere it could go where I wouldn't be faced with looking at it all the time. Doesn't seem unreasonable. Why not ask him to temporarily store it? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
LonelyTiger Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 I agree. If the apartment is that small and you are in it most of the time and can't get away from looking at the picture, temporary storage sounds like a perfect option. That way, he'll know that you don't mind him actually having the picture, you just don't want it in your face on a daily basis! I totally understand where you're coming from - I wouldn't want a picture of anyones a*** in my face every day - male or female! As long as you're not asking him to get rid of it completely and he knows he can put it up again when you move (albeit somewhere less obvious), he should be fine with that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mattea Posted May 15, 2009 Author Share Posted May 15, 2009 Thanks guys. I haven't brought it up yet - trying to find the 'right time' and the 'right words'. I guess I'll just say thanks for all he's done to make the place 'ours' and make me comfortable here, and also say that i want to ask a favor. Then say that I prefer it be up some place where I won't see it every day. Link to post Share on other sites
lonelyandfrustrated Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 Go get some smiley-face window clings, and put one on the most offensive image in the picture. It's temporary, no harm done. He'll get the message. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mattea Posted May 15, 2009 Author Share Posted May 15, 2009 Go get some smiley-face window clings, and put one on the most offensive image in the picture. It's temporary, no harm done. He'll get the message. LOL! Thanks, that gave me a good laugh Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts