westernxer Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 obscure internet forum Love it! LOL Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 The way I look at it is this... If she feels she got a little "validation" from me, so be it. But, it's apparent from her original letter that she's feeling the effects of bad karma, and apparently from her tone, it's pretty bad. Nothing I can say or do will change that karma has bitten her in the ass, in some way. I'm a full believer in karma. No woman who has ever mistreated me has gotten away with it scot-free, from a karma standpoint. Part of me is chuckling over her misery, but that's only because it's personal. Otherwise, I do feel bad if things have gone to **** for her, because they never really did for me. I'm relatively happy now, it's more than I can say for her. So in the end, I came out on top. -TP though I usually was anyway I would even say, TP, that no person (male or female) that has mistreated me has gotten away scott free. But there are always two sides to this coin. A confident, self-assured person doesn't let people take advantage of them. I'm still learning that lesson. Happens a lot less often to me now. As for the karma thing as a whole, I believe that you simply reap what you sow, everyone does. Be it good or bad. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 A confident, self-assured person doesn't let people take advantage of them. incorrect...everyone gets taken advantage of but the confident and self-assured people get taken advantage of less often. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 I honestly don't think she ever intended on giving him any real and honest answers. I believe that her agenda was to clear her own conscious. Nothing more, nothing less. If she truly cared about TP, she would have left him alone and let sleeping dogs lie.I don`t disagree that she did this for herself. She openly stated that in her email to him. This doesn`t mean she wouldn`t have been willing to give him honest answers, if handled in a way that created a win/win. As it stands, she got what she needed and buggered off. If TP is satisfied with this, that`s all that matters. Myself, I would have gotten what I wanted from the other person. I`ve done this with a number of exes. It included both positive and negative answers, answers I processed internally, some accepted, some rejected. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 It included both positive and negative answers, answers I processed internally, some accepted, some rejected. where else would the answers be processed? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 where else would the answers be processed?Reliant on the type of person you are, some will solely bounce issues off other people or deny by externalizing. Link to post Share on other sites
WiseOne1 Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Im not sure what TP should have done in this sistuation, however I had the same thing happen to me, I had a ex come back 2 years later wanting to get back together, but I didn't even care enough to respond, and I didnt even care enough to post it on Loveshack. It's possible that she only wanted to conscious. Link to post Share on other sites
Porn_Guy Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 i think TP should have followed NC protocol, he's only opened up a can of emotional worms... now that he's responded she still knows she has him by the balls, even after more than 3 years Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 i think TP should have followed NC protocol, he's only opened up a can of emotional worms... now that he's responded she still knows she has him by the balls, even after more than 3 years Do you think hes still at her feet anytime for the asking.. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 i think TP should have followed NC protocol, he's only opened up a can of emotional worms... now that he's responded she still knows she has him by the balls, even after more than 3 years So true Porn Guy.. you are so wise... Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Do you think hes still at her feet anytime for the asking.. Without putting him on the defense.. because obviously he won't agree but I think if she snaps her fingers he will come running.. She already snapped her fingers once to see if he was there and he came a running. The fact he couldn't wait more than 12 hours to reply after 3 years of NC tells me so... Link to post Share on other sites
WiseOne1 Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Without putting him on the defense.. because obviously he won't agree but I think if she snaps her fingers he will come running.. She already snapped her fingers once to see if he was there and he came a running. The fact he couldn't wait more than 12 hours to reply after 3 years of NC tells me so... Lol man this forum is funny, maybe its a ego thing with him, just to let her know hey "Im doing better than you", "hey I moved on"... but to loveshack posters maybe it seems like he couldnt wait over 12 hours, but to her it was 5 going on 6 days. Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Without putting him on the defense.. because obviously he won't agree but I think if she snaps her fingers he will come running.. She already snapped her fingers once to see if he was there and he came a running. The fact he couldn't wait more than 12 hours to reply after 3 years of NC tells me so... I get that sense too She must have been pretty sexy Link to post Share on other sites
WiseOne1 Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 So what are you guys saying, are you saying that he shouldn't have responded at all? Or should have waited longer, me personally I wouldn't have responded at all. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 So what are you guys saying, are you saying that he shouldn't have responded at all? Or should have waited longer, me personally I wouldn't have responded at all. I probably wouldn't have either, but then again, I didn't know or sleep with the girl. LOL Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Do you think hes still at her feet anytime for the asking.. oh totally... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 TP, you never answered my question earlier.. Does your present girlfriend know about your ex and the email from her? And your reply back? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 TP, you never answered my question earlier.. Does your present girlfriend know about your ex and the email from her? And your reply back? i highly doubt it... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teacher's Pet Posted May 17, 2009 Author Share Posted May 17, 2009 Good morning. She called me this morning. We actually talked for about an hour, mostly her telling me her story.... She certainly got a taste of her own medicine, and a lot like me, she kinda let it happen to her. The bits and pieces I knew of her post-breakup were kind of true, but she told me the whole story. Her post-TP relationship was awful. This guy strung her along for over 2 years...moved in with her, and basically made her miserable, then just as they were trying to working things out....*poof* Gone. One of her friends told her basically that she had it coming for what she did to me. That was the wakeup call that made her contact me. She finally figured out how cruel she was, and just wanted to make amends, because apparently, what this guy put her through was a LOT worse than what we had. I did get one of the "answers" I was looking for, too, though it was not a really "pertinent" issue.... just something I was curious about... Those of you who know the story know that we had a mutual friend...well, this friend (female) was my friend for years before The Teacher and I met, but they became good friends. After we broke up, another friend of mine told me he saw then hanging out on a few occasions. That actually hurt more than the breakup, because even though relationships come and go, friendships are supposed to last. My friend DID backstab me, as I always thought. I'm so glad she's a piece of "dead weight" I cut from my life. I've had breakups, but there's nothin worse than a disloyal friend. Meanwhile.... The Teacher suffered through a bad relationship, and what seems to be a serious cancer scare... About a year ago her doctor found what was apparently an 8lb tumor in her lower abdomen. She had it removed, but she has to see a doctor regularly to make sure nothing comes back. I know she had a lump removed from one of her breasts before we met, so she's being extra careful. And... kind of like I thought all along... her ex (prior to me) had a LOT of influence on the way she treated me. I knew her ex (female, by the way), and I always saw her as a very controlling, manipulative person. She was coercing her to breakup with me on a regular basis (obviously, she couldn't move on with HER life, so she had to interfere in other's)... I always suspected this, as I NEVER got along with her ex (they were still roommates for the early part of our relationship). She really hated me, and I could see her as the type to cause trouble. This, in NO WAY absolves my ex of what she did or the way she treated me, but at least I understand a little better how screwed up her mind was at the time. In a sense, I was a rebound for a bad relationship, and the rebound from OUR relationship was much worse. So, being the competitive person I am, can honestly say I've had the better life post-breakup. New, better friends, better job (at least, in my opinion), and no real drama in my life over the last 3 years. I'm happy she's sorted things out. In fact, she just met someone new recently, and so far, he seems like a decent guy. Perhaps she can now have a relationship without an outside influence clouding her judgement. She admits I was a great boyfriend, but she let old emotions, and a manipulative ex affect her decision-making process, and she really does regret how things ended. The one thing I'll always say about her is that she was ALWAYS honest with me, even when she treated me like crap, she didn't LIE. But of course, we all know sometimes the truth can hurt more than any lie. I believe her when she says she's sorry for everything she did, and that she wishes she could make everything right. In a sense, today she did. She called me, admitted her weaknesses, and how a woman like her, who generally comes off as very "strong", was too weak and too manipulated by outside forces to appreciate what she had. Knowing her like I do, that was definately not easy for her, so I do appreciate it. I've grown so much since her, and apparently, she's learned a thing or two as well. I have to admit, I finally feel true closure now. In fact, perhaps at some point in the future, her and I could be friends. I know it's a tricky proposition, but we DID have a great (platonic/non-sexual) friendship for quite some time before ANYTHING ever happened. Anything can happen, but even after talking to her for over an hour, I still know that *we* will NEVER happen again. That ship has sailed. I feel...... good today. It's been a while since I've actually said that "out loud". Now, it's time for breakfast. -TP ...it was the best of times...it was the worst of times... Link to post Share on other sites
Chinook Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 Well, alls well that ends well TP. Good for you. ... although, my spidey senses are tingling and I don't really think this story is over. Just my 2p. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 dude...why are you even talking with this woman? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 dude...why are you even talking with this woman? You know the answer to that Alpha.... 14 pages on a thread about an ex of 3 years ago that emailed him out of the blue... let's see.. hummmmmmm Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 dude...why are you even talking with this woman? His brain isn't wired like yours, alpha... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 Great that you feel the closure..Hopefully now this whole chapter can be put to bed and closed forever. Just hope that you made it clear that there is no 'friendship' casual or anything in the future with her. I really hope you aren't going to keep that door open a crack, not for getting back together, but for any friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 His brain isn't wired like yours, alpha... it seems as if his politic are quite right wing but his relationships quite liberal. how ironic Link to post Share on other sites
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