Yet another 'no contact broken' thread

[Chinook]

So after a few months of being treated like dirt, my ex dumped me six weeks ago. Then he did the backwards forwards thing of "I love you, but I don't know what I want" and "I want to, but I can't make you happy" (blaming me and my neediness, yea right).

 

So after rather a lot of patience and time, I decided "screwit" and last Friday evening, I walked away. I did it in such a way though that I was nice about it. I emailed him and said I was disappointed because I didn't want things to end, but he'd made his decision and it was clear to me that he simply didn't want me. But, that was okay, I understand... and I wished him well with his life. I don't like emotional drama and games.

 

At that point I had reached a place where I was gutted, disappointed but resolved to simply stop pining and move on. I cut contact. Deleted his email, phone number, etc. Not a single peep from me since last week. I was growing rather proud that it was day 7 today and that I wasn't feeling great but I was feeling better. Plus, I don't want him to contact me.

 

So there I am 7pm this evening, phone goes. It's a random text message which means nothing "Nice - I haven't had a chance to look into it yet!". Meant nothing to me. Now... my nice side was thinking 'oh, it's a mis-send and a mistake'. So I replied with "Assume this is not for me, you will probably want to delete my number from your phone to prevent further mishaps".

 

Then I sat thinking about it. I'm rather annoyed. I don't think it was a mis-send at all. For a start if he's replying to someone, then the name in his phone is automatically used. If he's writing from new, he'd searched out my name... which begs the question, if he worked so bloody hard to get rid of me what the hell am I doing still in his phone..?!

 

I am really annoyed. I think it was the 'I don't want you to forget about me, but don't want to openly contact you' game. I've seen it before. I'm really bloody annoyed because I was doing so well. End rant.

[bluewolf17]

Chinook,

 

You can bet your but that text was sent on purpose. Most phones these days are set up in a way that when you reply, you dont enter in a new phone number, it just goes back to the person who sent it. It was no mistake that you got that. My EX of long ago use to send me those all the time..

 

Probably shouldn't have replied, but since you did, I think it was a good reply. Just hang in there with the NC.

 

By the way, sounds like you and I both went NC the same way...my ex broke up with me, then we stayed LC..went on some dates, got my hopes up. But when I pressured him to find out where this was going..he never knew. Finally I got him to admit he didn't want to be with me, "right now". Well I told him that we were beating a dead horse, and I went NC.

 

 

Keep me posted on your progress!

[Chinook]

Jees Bluewolf, it is so nice to have validation in your gut instinct. His phone is fairly new and a reply message means he would automatically send it to the person who text him first - PLUS - he is ultra lazy... so this took some bloody effort.

 

You're right, I should probably not have replied but at the same time, I wanted to get across the clarity of 'you said you didn't want me, so bloody well act like it'. I wasn't horrible or anything the text I sent was same as I said last post, word for word. I think that makes it clear that I'm not in a place for games and I am certainly not up to him contacting me so I'd rather he deleted.

 

You're right, I too reached a point that it became clear he didn't want me. I said this to him and he admitted that he really didn't want me. So there didn't seem any point to me to drag it out. Like you I felt the hoss was dead, so I sure as hell wasn't going to carry it around with me. I dropped it. Now this. It's kinda good to know someone else came across this kind of thing though. Thanks.

[Nuala83]

Then he did the backwards forwards thing of "I love you, but I don't know what I want" and "I want to, but I can't make you happy" (blaming me and my neediness, yea right).

 

Break up lines are so cliche aren't they.

 

It's not you it's me

I love you but I'm not in love with you

I just don't want to be in a relationship right now

...am I missing any?

 

Chinook, don't be annoyed. You are doing so well. 7 days is a long time. Sounds to me like your bloke is starting to get worried.

[Chinook]

Cliche'd breakup lines are also cowardly. I don't know why they don't simply say

 

"actually, it is YOU, I don't love you and I don't want to be with you"

 

Would make life a lot easier. Trouble is, takes balls to do that.

 

Nuala, he can get worried all he likes, he ain't coming back come hell or high water. What he doesn't realise is that I don't want him back... not after the way he treated me. I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life than to be treated like that again. It's way too late now. So if this happens again, there won't be any reply next time.

[LadyV]

Yes, I agree...break-up lines...LOL....

 

Yes, 7 days is awesome! Keep it up...it's 12 for me today. Although I almost had a lapse in judgment, thank goodness his number is blocked and I can't talk to him.

[Nuala83]

Nuala, he can get worried all he likes, he ain't coming back come hell or high water. What he doesn't realise is that I don't want him back... not after the way he treated me. I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life than to be treated like that again. It's way too late now. So if this happens again, there won't be any reply next time.

 

Good on ya!

[Ariadne]

Hey,

 

I think you handled it great.

 

Seems like he was fishing for something (especially by the upbeat message).

 

If you ever talk to him again or get in contact, is going to be the same crap as before if not worse.

 

Some things are better lost (although one gets lonely and bored sometimes).

 

Good luck!

[Chinook]

Yeah, I think you had it down right a few months ago Ari. Should have left him in the past. But ever the optimist as I am, thought we could give it a shot and see how it worked.

[Ariadne]

Yeah, I think you had it down right a few months ago Ari. Should have left him in the past. But ever the optimist as I am, thought we could give it a shot and see how it worked.

 

Well,

 

Can't complain..

 

At least you had some good times, trips, skiing and so forth.

 

Time run out for that one perhaps. You are probably jaded as well so, no loss.

 

Hugs.

[Chinook]

You are probably jaded as well so, no loss.

 

Hugs.

Oh ya, you got that right on the nail. Thanks lady

 

I see your guy did same. They're total chumps imho. We deserve better.

[boogieboy]

You really wanna move on permanently so this doesnt happen again? Since his crappy attempt to get your attention affected you this much, change your phone number. Thats permanent if you really want that.

[ATR]

My ex did the same, although i did not reply.

She sent me a message saying that she sent it by accident - after enough time had passed untill she realised i wouldnt reply. As far as i am concerned she is playing games with herself.

[Chinook]

You really wanna move on permanently so this doesnt happen again? Since his crappy attempt to get your attention affected you this much, change your phone number. Thats permanent if you really want that.

Nah, that was yesterday. I'm okay again today. Plus, I ain't changing my number - why put all my friends and family out just because he's being a dick..?! Tis simple, next time there will be no reply. Simple as that.

[Chinook]

My ex did the same, although i did not reply.

She sent me a message saying that she sent it by accident - after enough time had passed untill she realised i wouldnt reply. As far as i am concerned she is playing games with herself.

Yeah, I was kinda thinking about this today. It's pretty sad really. The guy didn't want me, so why play games..?! Simple - it's an ego stroke. Pity I didn't respond favourably. I'm too old to be messing around with head games like this so screw him.