$100. 3some dinner date

[Gold Pile]

Last week an overweight woman, outside a pizza restaurant, provoked me into making unkind remarks about her weight. A group of normal sized women (led by a hot blonde)attacked me in response. The plus sized lady came to my aid. I flirted with the Blonde while the police were writing up their report.

I got the blonde's contact info from the police report and the obese lady obtained my info the same way (I hope she's not a stalker). After some back and forth, the Blonde agreed to have dinner with me if the big lady came too.

 

Those that know me know that I hate to overspend and dinner for 3 was bad enough, but the ample appetite of "Karen" was really worrisome. I purchased a bucket of KFC's new grilled chicken and got some rolls while I was at it. (this was my 1st time at this place in 10 years)

My plan was to fill her up on cheap food before we arrived at the expensive restaurant. I told her I was dying to try this new grilled stuff and invited her to try some. After some insincere protests...she demolished the bucket while we drove to the blonde's house.

 

I pretended I couldn't find her house so as to make us late to the restaurant...and thus allow less time to eat. Turns out the blonde and I had nothing in common, this didn't matter to me but she really seemed hostile. She (all 110 pounds of her) insisted we order desserts. All told I spent $100. Aprox $18 each for the blonde and I, the rest on Karen and the tip.

 

We drove the blonde home, I said I'd call her and she told me not to bother. I pulled up in front of Karen's Apt. ... I was disappointed to see a rough looking couple of neighbors around, this made me obligated to walk her to her door. In a well practiced move she wrapped an arm around my head and drove her tongue into my mouth. It was kind of like being in a mountain of pillows with a tongue. Not as horrible as I thought but I'm just not into heavy women. I spoke a very firm "no" and she picked me up (180 lbs) bear hug style and carried me inside her door. She was now exhausted by the effort and couldn't catch me as I ran back to my car.

 

Safe to say this date was a failure. At dinner I slipped a yoyo into the Blondes purse so I'd have an excuse to call and ask her if she accidentally picked it up...I'm not going to bother.

[northstar1]

Last week an overweight woman, outside a pizza restaurant, provoked me into making unkind remarks about her weight. A group of normal sized women (led by a hot blonde)attacked me in response. The plus sized lady came to my aid. I flirted with the Blonde while the police were writing up their report.

I got the blonde's contact info from the police report and the obese lady obtained my info the same way (I hope she's not a stalker). After some back and forth, the Blonde agreed to have dinner with me if the big lady came too.

 

Those that know me know that I hate to overspend and dinner for 3 was bad enough, but the ample appetite of "Karen" was really worrisome. I purchased a bucket of KFC's new grilled chicken and got some rolls while I was at it. (this was my 1st time at this place in 10 years)

My plan was to fill her up on cheap food before we arrived at the expensive restaurant. I told her I was dying to try this new grilled stuff and invited her to try some. After some insincere protests...she demolished the bucket while we drove to the blonde's house.

 

I pretended I couldn't find her house so as to make us late to the restaurant...and thus allow less time to eat. Turns out the blonde and I had nothing in common, this didn't matter to me but she really seemed hostile. She (all 110 pounds of her) insisted we order desserts. All told I spent $100. Aprox $18 each for the blonde and I, the rest on Karen and the tip.

 

We drove the blonde home, I said I'd call her and she told me not to bother. I pulled up in front of Karen's Apt. ... I was disappointed to see a rough looking couple of neighbors around, this made me obligated to walk her to her door. In a well practiced move she wrapped an arm around my head and drove her tongue into my mouth. It was kind of like being in a mountain of pillows with a tongue. Not as horrible as I thought but I'm just not into heavy women. I spoke a very firm "no" and she picked me up (180 lbs) bear hug style and carried me inside her door. She was now exhausted by the effort and couldn't catch me as I ran back to my car.

 

Safe to say this date was a failure. At dinner I slipped a yoyo into the Blondes purse so I'd have an excuse to call and ask her if she accidentally picked it up...I'm not going to bother.

 

Oh my. You couldn't make this stuff up.

[GorillaTheater]

This reminds of a guy I used to raid soap opera boards with.

 

Berg? Is that you?

[Chicago_Guy]

Last week an overweight woman, outside a pizza restaurant, provoked me into making unkind remarks about her weight. A group of normal sized women (led by a hot blonde)attacked me in response. The plus sized lady came to my aid. I flirted with the Blonde while the police were writing up their report.

I got the blonde's contact info from the police report and the obese lady obtained my info the same way (I hope she's not a stalker). After some back and forth, the Blonde agreed to have dinner with me if the big lady came too.

 

Those that know me know that I hate to overspend and dinner for 3 was bad enough, but the ample appetite of "Karen" was really worrisome. I purchased a bucket of KFC's new grilled chicken and got some rolls while I was at it. (this was my 1st time at this place in 10 years)

My plan was to fill her up on cheap food before we arrived at the expensive restaurant. I told her I was dying to try this new grilled stuff and invited her to try some. After some insincere protests...she demolished the bucket while we drove to the blonde's house.

 

I pretended I couldn't find her house so as to make us late to the restaurant...and thus allow less time to eat. Turns out the blonde and I had nothing in common, this didn't matter to me but she really seemed hostile. She (all 110 pounds of her) insisted we order desserts. All told I spent $100. Aprox $18 each for the blonde and I, the rest on Karen and the tip.

 

We drove the blonde home, I said I'd call her and she told me not to bother. I pulled up in front of Karen's Apt. ... I was disappointed to see a rough looking couple of neighbors around, this made me obligated to walk her to her door. In a well practiced move she wrapped an arm around my head and drove her tongue into my mouth. It was kind of like being in a mountain of pillows with a tongue. Not as horrible as I thought but I'm just not into heavy women. I spoke a very firm "no" and she picked me up (180 lbs) bear hug style and carried me inside her door. She was now exhausted by the effort and couldn't catch me as I ran back to my car.

 

Safe to say this date was a failure. At dinner I slipped a yoyo into the Blondes purse so I'd have an excuse to call and ask her if she accidentally picked it up...I'm not going to bother.

 

Your post is completely nonsensical - it's obvious that you made up this incoherent story. If you are going to make up a story, at least make it be funny.

 

I am convinced that several of the regulars on this forum post messages about fabricated experiences just to get attention/responses, but at least they post about things that seems somewhat plausible.

[ratingsguy]

I got the blonde's contact info from the police report....

 

This is where I lost interest in the story.

 

There goes the neighborhood.

[BCCA]

This is where I lost interest in the story.

 

There goes the neighborhood.

 

"Hey X, this is Y...yeah right, the guy when the cops showed up the other day. Yeah I got your number from the police report...whats that?...youre getting a restraining order and this is creepy?"

 

LOL

 

Even if you made this up, its still funny.

[mortensorchid]

This is one of the craziest things I have ever read if it's true, and rather ridiculous fictional story if it isn't.

[Lizzie60]

GP.. this is just as funny as the original thread..

 

Keep on posting.. you're hilarious..

[annieo]

Thank you gp - I needed a laugh, been a long week.

And excellent cliffhanger .... to be continued?

[Gold Pile]

Your post is completely nonsensical - it's obvious that you made up this incoherent story. If you are going to make up a story, at least make it be funny.

 

I am convinced that several of the regulars on this forum post messages about fabricated experiences just to get attention/responses, but at least they post about things that seems somewhat plausible.

I'm convinced I've seen your IP address attached to other screen names.

[Gold Pile]

GP.. this is just as funny as the original thread..

 

Keep on posting.. you're hilarious..

Not so hilarious was the waste of $100:sick:, but Thank You my dear.

 

Annieo:

Thank you gp - I needed a laugh, been a long week.

And excellent cliffhanger .... to be continued

?

 

I did get 2 text messages from the large lady, but I sure hope this is NOT to be continued.

[westernxer]

Your post is completely nonsensical - it's obvious that you made up this incoherent story. If you are going to make up a story, at least make it be funny.

 

I am convinced that several of the regulars on this forum post messages about fabricated experiences just to get attention/responses, but at least they post about things that seems somewhat plausible.

 

You don't know Gold Pile very well.

 

He's my hero.

[Cherished]

Oh my. You couldn't make this stuff up.

 

Yes, he absolutely could (and does.)

[Art_Critic]

He's my hero.

 

Mine too..

 

Did you at least use a coupon when you bought the KFC ?

[amymarieca]

Sorry, I just can't seem to find humour in stories that include acting condescending towards overweight people. No laughs here.

[LexiB]

I spoke a very firm "no" and she picked me up (180 lbs) bear hug style and carried me inside her door. She was now exhausted by the effort and couldn't catch me as I ran back to my car.

 

 

:lmao:

[Gold Pile]

Sorry, I just can't seem to find humour in stories that include acting condescending towards overweight people. No laughs here.

Amy, someone who is lazy and is an absolute glutton with food (eating so much when so many are underfed) does not deserve the same level of respect that normal people do. I'm not talking about the few extra pounds people that are so common (and normal), nor am I speaking of people in wheelchairs. I'm talking about huge by choice...the choice of pigging out all the time and sitting around doing nothing but thinking of the next triple portion meal.

 

You can eat up all the politically correct talk of equality with normal people but the fact is you will see a REAL change in the way people treat you if you switch to the eating/activity levels of normal people.

 

Check out some health sites, getting started is the hard part, but I'm sure you can make a positive change....make this your year.

[Gold Pile]

You don't know Gold Pile very well.

 

He's my hero.

 

 

Art Critic:

Mine too..

 

Did you at least use a coupon when you bought the KFC

Aw shucks. Thank you all. You guys are great, everyone can count on you for well thought out posts and replies...serious when needed and funny when appropiate.

 

No coupon Art, this was a spontaneous act of genius. Even w/out a coupon the move saved me a bundle.

[Lizzie60]

Amy, someone who is lazy and is an absolute glutton with food (eating so much when so many are underfed) does not deserve the same level of respect that normal people do. I'm not talking about the few extra pounds people that are so common (and normal), nor am I speaking of people in wheelchairs. I'm talking about huge by choice...the choice of pigging out all the time and sitting around doing nothing but thinking of the next triple portion meal.

 

You can eat up all the politically correct talk of equality with normal people but the fact is you will see a REAL change in the way people treat you if you switch to the eating/activity levels of normal people.

 

Check out some health sites, getting started is the hard part, but I'm sure you can make a positive change....make this your year.

 

The bold part is sooo true.. My 'walking buddy' is like that.. she had the gastric by-pass operation.. lost over 110 lbs.. (she was still big, she must have been over 300 lbs).. it's been 3 years now .. she is now getting all the weight back.. she is constantly thinking of eating.. (junk food, candies, chocolate)...

 

When I try to talk to her about it.. she gets defensive and mean... so now.. I just keep my mouth shut.

 

When I want to walk for an extra 15 minutes.. she'll say no cause she needs at least 30 minutes for lunch.. and during our 'walk' all she talks about is food.. and how she's hungry.. blablabla..

 

She also blames her hormones.. her thyroid... her time of the month... her mood... I just have no sympathy anymore for people who are huge because they just can't make any sacrifices.. or eat healthy and exercise... NO SYMPATHY whatsoever..

[amymarieca]

Amy, someone who is lazy and is an absolute glutton with food (eating so much when so many are underfed) does not deserve the same level of respect that normal people do. I'm not talking about the few extra pounds people that are so common (and normal), nor am I speaking of people in wheelchairs. I'm talking about huge by choice...the choice of pigging out all the time and sitting around doing nothing but thinking of the next triple portion meal.

 

You can eat up all the politically correct talk of equality with normal people but the fact is you will see a REAL change in the way people treat you if you switch to the eating/activity levels of normal people.

 

Check out some health sites, getting started is the hard part, but I'm sure you can make a positive change....make this your year.

 

Gold Pile, this post is rather pretentious if you want my honest opinion. Even if what you say is true, you have absolutely no right to judge someone or to treat them differently just because they are supposedly not "normal." You have no idea why some people are overweight. Why would you even care so much? People only treat you differently if you perceive yourself as an outsider. Fat people don't care about your opinion. If they want to change, they can do it themselves without listening to rude comments from you. Don't pretend you know everything about having a healthy body.

[amymarieca]

The bold part is sooo true.. My 'walking buddy' is like that.. she had the gastric by-pass operation.. lost over 110 lbs.. (she was still big, she must have been over 300 lbs).. it's been 3 years now .. she is now getting all the weight back.. she is constantly thinking of eating.. (junk food, candies, chocolate)...

 

When I try to talk to her about it.. she gets defensive and mean... so now.. I just keep my mouth shut.

 

When I want to walk for an extra 15 minutes.. she'll say no cause she needs at least 30 minutes for lunch.. and during our 'walk' all she talks about is food.. and how she's hungry.. blablabla..

 

She also blames her hormones.. her thyroid... her time of the month... her mood... I just have no sympathy anymore for people who are huge because they just can't make any sacrifices.. or eat healthy and exercise... NO SYMPATHY whatsoever..

 

Why do you care so much? How does her weight affect your life? Did she ever ask for your sympathy? I'm sure you've complained about lots of bad things in your life that are indirectly your fault and she has given you sympathy that you wanted. God some people are so judgmental.

[Shygirl15]

Jesus Christ, what's up with all you uptight people? This thing is as hilarious as the previous ones! You go GP!!

[Chicago_Guy]

I'm convinced I've seen your IP address attached to other screen names.

 

I've only posted under "Chicago_Guy" here. Why don't you go make up some more absurd stories and post them here?

[Gold Pile]

Jesus Christ, what's up with all you uptight people? This thing is as hilarious as the previous ones! You go GP!!

Thanks SG.

 

It's just a few cranky screen-names (going by IP addresses, it's fewer than it would appear). I think some are cranky for the emotional weight they carry, caused by the extra pounds they have.

[Lizzie60]

Thanks SG.

 

It's just a few cranky screen-names (going by IP addresses, it's fewer than it would appear). I think some are cranky for the emotional weight they carry, caused by the extra pounds they have.

 

 

Right on!