bentnotbroken Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 This is hhow I am trying to live my life on a daily basis.. I am trying to to my best, and in regards wo her, I believe the best is to hope and pray that she too can open her eyes this morning, and all of the "tomorrow mornings" and start her day this way. Having faith, being strong and trusting God that it will all be OK.. But, she has to start with a "today" and she hasn't yet.... Have a good day all Be blessed Stampy. I know it is hard to walk the path you have chosen, but it is so worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 You? :laugh::laugh: Oh my. I love you too. Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 God's love also includes sending certain people to their just reward, and that ain't all sunshine and roses. What does this have to do with with BNB's choice of words and her christ-filled heart? I just wanted to see the difference between someone who shouts her love for christ from the mountain tops and how her life has changed, etc.etc. to those of us non-believers. I don't see it (or read it...)So when does God start reflecting his grace through those who claim they have him in his heart? never? because they are "a work in progress"... *********************************************************** I have read the Bible, too-from Genesis to Revelations,and can quote verses from memory, so what? That doesnt make me an expert. If you are an expert, good for you. I am not a Christian, I do not need to be an expert in Christianity. Thanks for those who sent me PMs. And if you have sent me a PM and I ignored you, there is a reason. You need to stop trying to engage me because I can see your frustration, your reference to me started out nice and I ignored you and now your references have gotten worse, you are trying so hard for me to respond to you. Why are you obsessed with me? Are you not just a little off? I do not believe in anything you say, and therefore, you are of no use to my learning process here on LS. Move on, put me on ignore. Trust me, the quality of your life will not be affected. Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Because you seem to equate "godliness" with everything always being loving, kind, long suffering, etc. Even God's love sometimes ends in fire and brimstone. Are you then saying that it is okay to use offensive words because that reflects God's love? I find that difficult to grasp. I think it is absolutely okay to express an opposing view/dissent but not okay to call people names, because that does not reflect christ-love or god's displeasure. JMHO. Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 No. I'm saying it's okay to express a little wrath which may or may not involve certain verbage. Psycho witch isn't exactly "offensive language" like cursing, and it accurately sums up this woman's behavior, IMO. Psycho witch? Big deal. Perhaps focusing more on helping Stamp through his emotional pain (rather than making him feel worse) instead of spending a lot of time villifying other LS'rs would be helpful. Now, back to the topic at hand. Stamp, you did everything you could for this woman short of allowing her to drag you down with her. Thank goodness you stopped her, at least in terms of her affect on your life, short of that. Just keep strong and keep your mind on YOUR life and YOUR welfare. BTW, how's the dog poop drama going? it is not only "psycho witch"(don't be simplistic) it is the whole trashing of the person. So you are with BNB on this , that Stamp's love is a psycho witch. If you do not think it is a big deal, then so be it. It is to me. I wouldn't want the person I love trashed and called names, but that is just me. And I agree with you, OP needs to take care of his needs/welfare. There is virtue in selfishness. Link to post Share on other sites
MizzBlue72 Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 You did what you could. You need the rest. It hurts when the ones we love will not take our advice -- but she needs to learn that one on her own. Sorry for you, and her kids. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 For Tami to know the change God has made in my life, she would have to know what my life was in before. She would have to know the things I did to other people and the situations that I set up for others to be hurt. She would have had to see me in action, physically, verbally and emotionally. She would have to know that I was a one person wrecking crew. She would have had to see the self destructive behavior and the willingness to believe in nothing and no one. Since she doesn't know these things about me, I see how she can sit back and say what is in my heart. That's fine and I do recognize her own sorrow now. All is well with my soul. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Here's my take, and Stamp can correct me if he likes. Stamp was very much in love with the person he THOUGHT that she was. The problem is that he's learned a lot more about who she really is...and found THAT person not so "loveable". He was very much in love with the woman he was with all those years...but he's NOT in love with the woman who can act so cold-hearted and selfish towards all these people that SHE claimed to love. Tami, I think you're romanticizing too much, and not WANTING to let reality creep into your view. The bottom line is that once he learned more about the woman she really is...the less that he could love and respect her. That's NOT an uncommon occurrence here on the OW/OM board. Stick around a few years, you'll see this same thing play out several times. Link to post Share on other sites
JMC Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 I love you too. I highly doubt that, judging from your posts to me. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 I for one have supported Stamp's girl for the most part. I am a true romantic and in my mind she is lost, afraid, and needs him to support her. I have been convinced that he is not leaving her hanging. He will be there as a friend who loves her. Yet, he does see that (perhaps she always was?) a confused woman who cannot love anyone fully until she knows herself who she is and knows clearly what she wants. Who knows, if she does find herself it will all work out in the end. But she cannot give wholly until she is a whole person. It wouldn't be good right now. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 I highly doubt that, judging from your posts to me. Your doubt is obvious. Doesn't change anything for me. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 I'm not nearly as Christian and loving in my view. Stamp's got a family, and the last thing he needs is to infect his family with her problems, and that includes not getting any further involved with her particular brand of toxicity. In the immortal words of Kenny Rogers: You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, Know when to walk away, and know when to run. Link to post Share on other sites
JMC Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 NJ, it's OK that you're not so "Christian and loving" in your view. I'm serious; because at least you are honest. You're not doing one thing and saying and acting another way. You're not pretending to be something you're not. You're not hiding who you are. There's something virtuous about honesty and consistency. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 I for one have supported Stamp's girl for the most part. I am a true romantic and in my mind she is lost, afraid, and needs him to support her. I have been convinced that he is not leaving her hanging. He will be there as a friend who loves her. Yet, he does see that (perhaps she always was?) a confused woman who cannot love anyone fully until she knows herself who she is and knows clearly what she wants. Who knows, if she does find herself it will all work out in the end. But she cannot give wholly until she is a whole person. It wouldn't be good right now. You and I don't often disagree, WF, but we do on this. She's lost and afraid...because she's deliberately and intentionally ignored all of the signs and directions she should have taken. She's in her situation solely through her own self-centeredness and lack of care for any of the people she claimed to love. That includes Stamp, her BH, her kids, etc... I don't feel that she needs Stamp to help her. She needs to learn from her pain. THAT is the 'best course home' for her right now. And if Stamp were to try to step in and "save" her...he'd not be doing her any good whatsoever. On the contrary...he'd be setting himself up for further pain and unhappiness. I strongly feel he's making the right choice. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Stamp I don't understand. Is her divorce final and now you don't want her anymore? He'd be a fool to want her. As if she wasn't already a cheater, correct me if I'm wrong......Stamp? didn't she end up cheating again on her H with someone else? proving that it didn't really matter who she cheated with as long as she got sex from someone other than her husband? So I'd hope stamp doesn't want her. If he did still want her, then how does the Confederate Railroad song go? "I like my women just a little on the trashy side" Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted May 19, 2009 Author Share Posted May 19, 2009 He'd be a fool to want her. As if she wasn't already a cheater, correct me if I'm wrong......Stamp? didn't she end up cheating again on her H with someone else? proving that it didn't really matter who she cheated with as long as she got sex from someone other than her husband? So I'd hope stamp doesn't want her. If he did still want her, then how does the Confederate Railroad song go? "I like my women just a little on the trashy side" NO Dexter, she didnt cheat with someone else... I told her today to not ever call me again... long day Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Good. I'm glad you told her that..She HAS to do this on her own and learn to be independant, not run from her problems anymore. Time for her to (as some say around here) put her big girl panties on and deal with this in a mature, adult way. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Good. I'm glad you told her that..She HAS to do this on her own and learn to be independant, not run from her problems anymore. Time for her to (as some say around here) put her big girl panties on and deal with this in a mature, adult way. At some point in life we all have to face ourselves and our actions. It is the only way that we can change our behaviors for the better. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 You and I don't often disagree, WF, but we do on this. She's lost and afraid...because she's deliberately and intentionally ignored all of the signs and directions she should have taken. She's in her situation solely through her own self-centeredness and lack of care for any of the people she claimed to love. That includes Stamp, her BH, her kids, etc... I don't feel that she needs Stamp to help her. She needs to learn from her pain. THAT is the 'best course home' for her right now. And if Stamp were to try to step in and "save" her...he'd not be doing her any good whatsoever. On the contrary...he'd be setting himself up for further pain and unhappiness. I strongly feel he's making the right choice. Actually, we DO agree Owl. The first part of my post indicated that I did back Stamp's girl in the beginning but eventually I was won over by the idea that she needs to be a whole person before she can be good for anyone else. I should have used a word like, 'but', or 'however' to signify a change in my stance. I also feel he is making the right choice. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 NO Dexter, she didnt cheat with someone else... I told her today to not ever call me again... long day Ok, I could have sworn you wrote that she was involved, or trying to be involved with another man after you and her split. And good for you for telling her that. What was her response? Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted May 19, 2009 Author Share Posted May 19, 2009 Ok, I could have sworn you wrote that she was involved, or trying to be involved with another man after you and her split. And good for you for telling her that. What was her response? nope, just me... no response, yet! long story, long day yesterday, and i am just tired and don't want anymore of this in MY life... Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 And, Stamp, you are in NO WAY being selfish by not allowing this woman to drag your life into the dirt. You did everything you could, and very selflessly I might add. Just so you know, I really do believe there is virtue in selfishness. I did not say that to put Stamp down. For your education, perhaps you should explore this virtue, good reading for you, may I suggest "The Virtue of Selfishness" by Ayn Rand. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 Just so you know, I really do believe there is virtue in selfishness. ...good reading ... may I suggest "The Virtue of Selfishness" by Ayn Rand. I agree. Selfishness is not all bad. Link to post Share on other sites
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