The last Exit Ramp

[tami-chan]

I too see this. I have seen the phrase for better or worse in reference to her and Stampy's A, but not her marriage to her H. When did she and Stampy take vows? And as I have heard so many times on her from ow, "the passion just dies after so many years of the same person". This this same statement not apply to the ow or is it only reserved for the wife? I am confused. Somebody, anybody explain it to me.

 

Her marriage is a done deal. I do not know what kind of "better times and worst times" she and her xH had. And what she or her husband did to deal with it.

 

Stamp has shared some of their ordeal as a couple here. Mostly, their "worst" times. Do you not think that Stamp has promise to be at her side always? (translation: for better or for worst). I understand what you are saying about the "passion dying and such",(it can happen to anybody who is in a relationship) but Stamp is still in love with this woman. He says so himself.

 

5 years of lying and deceit to her H and Stampy. 5 years of being given a choice to do the right thing. 5 years of using, abusing and getting what she wants from everyone and giving nothing real in return. At what point is a person supposed to say enough is enough?

 

Any point. But let's not sugarcoat it. If Stamp is giving up on her, then he is giving up on her not because of her, but because of himself. I do not know whether that is right or wrong. It just is.

 

...This is wrong on so many levels. I think because Stampy is a man, everyone feels he should suck it up and stick with this psycho witch how is determined to destroy herself and anyone else withing the blast zone.

 

I am sorry that you felt the need to call the woman that Stamp loves a PSYCHO WITCH. It does look like you are angry. Is that vocab part of your Christian repertoire of words?

 

What you don't understand is that Stampy has repented and been restored, and to satisfy some bullcrap fairy tale ending, he is being encouraged to go back to the ways that pulled him from God. As we are so often told, this isn't a fantasy, it is the real world. He needs to protect himself and his relationship with God and let the ow figure it out. She has been given more than ample oppertunity to move in the right direction, now it is time for her to crap or get off the pot.

 

Oh yes, what would Jesus do? Indeed.

[Mino]

you know I kinda understand what Bent is saying.... Stamp mw has had PLENTY of time to make things right. But over and over again she fails to take the oppurtnity. Stamp is at the end of his rope. And what Bent is basically saying "that she better have a wake up call quick" ( correct me if I am wrong Bent) She cant keep living her life and hurting people. Stamp really should leave her alone right now so she can figure out her mess, and decide what she wants out of her life.

[stampdaddy]

Any point. But let's not sugarcoat it. If Stamp is giving up on her, then he is giving up on her not because of her, but because of himself. I do not know whether that is right or wrong. It just is.

 

 

I am not giving up on HER. She has given up on herself. I am trying to help her perhaps find herself again, so she can be there for herself and her children. NOT FOR ME... It is called "sacrifice" for someone you LOVE....

[tami-chan]

Any point. But let's not sugarcoat it. If Stamp is giving up on her, then he is giving up on her not because of her, but because of himself. I do not know whether that is right or wrong. It just is.

 

 

I am not giving up on HER. She has given up on herself. I am trying to help her perhaps find herself again, so she can be there for herself and her children. NOT FOR ME... It is called "sacrifice" for someone you LOVE....

 

Stamp, with due respect, you seem like a very nice guy but I have to say that is just playing with words. You are giving her up because reality has hit on your face. MAYBE you do not have what it takes to see her through or to see the relationship through. Only you know that.

 

Many here would say you have invaded that woman's marriage ( not my choice of words,mind you). You were party to what has happened to this woman. Many BSs here would not hesitate blaming the OWs/OMs for the destruction of a marriage. Now she is destroyed. Yes, perhaps because of her own inaction or delayed action. It does not matter,where it matters, you have chosen not to be there for her. That's all. It might be the best choice for you. It is self-preservation, I do not see it as a sacrifice on your part. But that's just me. So good for you. Good luck!

[Mino]

Stamp, you know what I am learning, There are some things we cannot do for our partners, they have to do it themselves.... I have always tried to take the burden off of my guys shoulders... but he was not dealing with his issues. I have now stepped back, and he needs to walk this walk on his own, and hopefully he will come out on the end healed. Its kinda of like dying, no one can do it for you... Step back and let her do her walk....alone..If its meant to be she will return. The "affair Relationship has to die" Let it die.. let her heal, let yourself heal... and if it was love, you can rebuild on a heathly normal foundation.

[stampdaddy]

Now you listen to me.. I have seen your posts to others and I see that sometimes that you have your "arguements" with others and I have even stuck up for you, BUT, BUT, BUT! You couldnt be more wrong!

 

I would walk the earth for her. I love her. I am NOT dodging any responsibility here now that this is happening. I am NOT running from her. I would LOVE TO BE HERE FOR HER. I have been doing EVERYTHING that I can do to make sure "she doesnt fall". I can not help her if SHE IS NOT HELPING HERSELF, and her family and her future co-parenting relationship with their father. I CAN'T DO IT ALONE....

 

Don't you dare come on here, read a few posts and make your assumptions. I have traveled a very long road, almost 5 years, loving, hoping, trusting, believing, honoring, caring, sharing, adoring etc... I have also been on MY life's path, and I know how I feel, what I would LOVE to see her do, what I would have "expected" this woman I cherish do, THE RIGHT THING, ONCE!!!

 

I would be there for her in a heartbeat, MY HEART BEAT, the second she could show me, sh*t, show herself that she can do something, anything RIGHT!

[jj33]

How can anyone say you arent there for her? She came to your house at 11:30pm and you let her in... you could as easily have turned her away but you didnt.

 

Much as the whole thing must be breaking your heart you are there for her just not in the same way you expected to be some time ago. (or at least that is my understanding)

 

But as you say you can only do so much - probably only listen and try and encourage her to do the right thing

[tami-chan]

Stamp, thank you for "defending" me on some of my posts( I think it was only one, and that was on YOUR thread). I did not see it that way. I said something that worked for you at that time. Thus, your support. That's all.

 

Like I said, good luck. It looks like this long, painful journey is going to end soon for you.

[stampdaddy]

Stamp, thank you for "defending" me on some of my posts( I think it was only one, and that was on YOUR thread). I did not see it that way. I said something that worked for you at that time. Thus, your support. That's all.

 

Like I said, good luck. It looks like this long, painful journey is going to end soon for you.

 

Yeah, you are right, I can't wait to be free! Hit the clubs, start new relationships with women, many women, join the dating websites... I can't wait to be free of the woman I love. I can't wait to NOT share a future with the person I wanted to "grow old with". I can't wait to watch her fall. You are right Tami, this is soon to be over for me. YIPPEE

 

I AM FREE

 

She is NOT!

 

YOU are so right!

[bentnotbroken]

Tami, let's make one thing very clear. You try to pretend you know what the Bible says, show me somewhere in there that says I have no right to use any word in the human vocabulary that I chose. I see a woman who is self destructing in very frightening ways. Yes, she isn't using rational judgement how do I know, I have been there. My words show no anger. Psycho witch is what I see. Your version of angry and mine are 2 very different things.

 

Nowhere does it say a Christian is only supposed to show only "joy, light, peace and serenity". That would make me a robot, I am a woman, not a machine. What would Jesus do indeed. Well according to one of the scriptures, that I will look up if you need confirmation, is when people don't hear what you are trying to say or show them(just like Stampy has done with this woman)you move on. You leave the village and shake the dust from your feet. That means you walk away and don't carry any residual mess with you.

 

Some day if you chose to understand a real Christian, give me a call. Until then deal with what you see from me. Oh yeah, the other thing Jesus would have done is tried to help her....if she wanted it. And by this woman's behavior, she isn't there yet. She will need to hit rock bottom to see that she needs help.

[bentnotbroken]

you know I kinda understand what Bent is saying.... Stamp mw has had PLENTY of time to make things right. But over and over again she fails to take the oppurtnity. Stamp is at the end of his rope. And what Bent is basically saying "that she better have a wake up call quick" ( correct me if I am wrong Bent) She cant keep living her life and hurting people. Stamp really should leave her alone right now so she can figure out her mess, and decide what she wants out of her life.

 

 

Thank you. She has more than enough woman to stand up and do the right thing. For her H, her children, Stamp, and herself. But so far all she has done is run from one to the other stabbing them with her selfish behaviors. How much more pain are people supposed to take before they begin to protect themselves. She has no clue who she is. I have prayed w/ Stamp and for him. He has fought for the progress he has made. Yet some posters seem not to want him go backwards to save her. He can't save a person who doesn't want to be saved. A person who doesn't think that they even have a hand in their own misery. It is all being caused outside sources. This relationship is toxic and on it's way to being spiritually and emotionally lethal.

[81West]

Stamp, if you were to make a mental list of the qualities that she is failing to exhibit now or in the past that are preventing her from doing what's right in your view, what would they be? Has she exhibited those qualities in other circumstances in your experience with her? So for example if you think she's lacking courage or strength, have you seen her be couragrous or strong in some other arena over the years?

[tami-chan]

Tami, let's make one thing very clear. You try to pretend you know what the Bible says, show me somewhere in there that says I have no right to use any word in the human vocabulary that I chose. I see a woman who is self destructing in very frightening ways. Yes, she isn't using rational judgement how do I know, I have been there. My words show no anger. Psycho witch is what I see. Your version of angry and mine are 2 very different things.

 

Me, pretend? I do not know much about the Bible at all. I just know that your every word is supposed to reflect God's love..yours certainly don't. But you like to talk about God's love and all that jazz. Which is fine, but your choice of words at times certainly do not reflect that. And then you come back with a lame excuse of "being a work in progress"...no, you can always choose to use better, alternate words. If you have respect at all to Stamp you wouldn't call the woman he loves a PSYCHO WITCH or trash her here.

 

Nowhere does it say a Christian is only supposed to show only "joy, light, peace and serenity". That would make me a robot, I am a woman, not a machine.

 

Sounds like a good excuse.

 

Some day if you chose to understand a real Christian, give me a call. Until then deal with what you see from me. Oh yeah, the other thing Jesus would have done is tried to help her....if she wanted it. And by this woman's behavior, she isn't there yet. She will need to hit rock bottom to see that she needs help.

 

lol..she needs to hit rock bottom, and you deemed that necessary for her because????? who are you again?

 

This woman is lost, broken, thinks she has nothing left inside her....do you not think that is a cry for help? If a person thinks she has nothing left inside her, she is in essence dead in spirit or at least dying within herself. And you think she needs to hit rock bottom...?

 

Thanks for you invitation to call you, but why would I call you if I want to understand a real Christian,are you the reincarnation of Mother Theresa? if not, well, then, thanks but no thanks.

[quankanne]

it is definitely a cry for help, but it's also something she's going to have to figure out on her own, not expect people to do for her. Because the only way she is going to heal, the only way she can heal the situation is to lose herself so that she can do for others. At this point, all her decisions have been self-oriented, not family oriented.

 

and I think what stamp is trying to do is let her go through that hard road by herself so she can make other-oriented decisions. That's not abandoning her, but showing tough love for both her ... and himself. Because if she doesn't figure this out on her own, no amount of help he or anyone else gives her will make a difference.

[bentnotbroken]

Me, pretend? I do not know much about the Bible at all. I just know that your every word is supposed to reflect God's love..yours certainly don't. But you like to talk about God's love and all that jazz. Which is fine, but your choice of words at times certainly do not reflect that. And then you come back with a lame excuse of "being a work in progress"...no, you can always choose to use better, alternate words. If you have respect at all to Stamp you wouldn't call the woman he loves a PSYCHO WITCH or trash her here.

 

 

{Well when you learn something about the bible then you can come back and tell me how I am supposed to act. Until then who are you. Nothing more than some faceless, nameless person behind a screen with no more than I am to you. My choice of words reflect nothing other than I am a southern girl who grew up with a lot of uncles and a couple of brothers. You don't know what I do to show God's love or how he has blessed me. And I don't mind being a work in progress, that means I have made progress and will continue to until I take my final breathe. I am alive because of God and I will continue to strive to do what he wants me to. My respect for Stampy didn't come from what he posted here, it came from getting to know him other than in this forum. He is a good person finding his way back. And I have said no more about the woman he was involved with than I would say to someone in my own family. I am not one to mince words about how I feel. Life is too short. If he didn't like what I have said, he is more than capable and as you can see not afraid to say what he feels. }

 

 

Sounds like a good excuse.

{ I don't need an excuse, because you can't show me anything anyway..}

 

lol..she needs to hit rock bottom, and you deemed that necessary for her because????? who are you again? { Anyone in my profession, can see where she is headed. But you assume that people who post on these boards have absolutely no awareness of human behavior, except you right??? Come on let's get real shall we? What qualifies you to say she won't need a rude wake up call...oh that's right you are tami aah, tami aahh.

 

is woman is lost, broken, thinks she has nothing left inside her....do you not think that is a cry for help? If a person thinks she has nothing left inside her, she is in essence dead in spirit or at least dying within herself. And you think she needs to hit rock bottom...?

 

{ I absolutely believe she is lost and broken. Is a cry for help, maybe. Rock bottom is only a catalyst to rebounding. Moving up. If you are as low as you can get, allows most people who will admit they have a big problem to face it and get help. NO safety nets, no one picking up the pieces, no one standing between you and the consequences of your actions. This is accepted in most recognized programs of recovery. Alcoholism, drugs, sex and even eating disorders. Until she decides to rescue herself, her spirit, the only thing she will do is take others down with her}

 

Thanks for you invitation to call you, but why would I call you if I want to understand a real Christian,are you the reincarnation of Mother Theresa? if not, well, then, thanks but no thanks.

 

{Mother Theresa was a saint. I am as far from a saint as you can get. Christian yes, saint no. Like I said you know nothing of my faith or me, and until you do I would like it very much if you get educated about me and my faith before you presume to speak on it. If you prefer not to as you have indicated, then don't expect anything other than what you have...confusion and completely jacked up views. And now back to our regular programming. }

[tami-chan]

What is with the bolded, b letters? are you yelling at me? LOL...

Well when you learn something about the bible then you can come back and tell me how I am supposed to act. Until then who are you. Nothing more than some faceless, nameless person behind a screen with no more than I am to you.

 

Correct I am nobody, just as you are nobody here. But I will point out hypocrisy when I see one. If you are affected by it, that is your choice.

 

My choice of words reflect nothing other than I am a southern girl who grew up with a lot of uncles and a couple of brothers.

 

Oh? nice dodge. Southerners are one of the most polite people I have met. I guess you have a lot of ways to change your language so that it will reflect your er..Christ-filled heart.

 

 

Perhaps you should keep that kind of language within the family then, as you and them are used to it.

If he didn't like what I have said, he is more than capable and as you can see not afraid to say what he feels.

 

He wouldn't do anything about it. He has allowed people to trash the woman he loves, I suspect because this is JUST THE NET, and posters here do not figure in his real life, or maybe he agrees with the trashing and your assessment of his MW, who knows?

I don't need an excuse, because you can't show me anything anyway..} {/quote]

 

Show you anything what? You are not making sense.

 

But you assume that people who post on these boards have absolutely no awareness of human behavior, except you right???

 

LOL...THAT is your own assumption of my views.

 

Come on let's get real shall we? What qualifies you to say she won't need a rude wake up call...oh that's right you are tami aah, tami aahh.

 

What is tami aaahh tami aaah? are you ok? I am not qualified at all to say what she needs or don't need. I am just perplexed how somebody who is in love with a person, claims to continue to be in love with her and yet when the chips are down....well..chooses to let her fall...like I said before, maybe she deserves it...I do not know...

 

She has hit rock bottom, what else do people want?

 

Mother Theresa was a saint. I am as far from a saint as you can get. Christian yes, saint no. Like I said you know nothing of my faith or me, and until you do I would like it very much if you get educated about me and my faith before you presume to speak on it. If you prefer not to as you have indicated, then don't expect anything other than what you have...confusion and completely jacked up views. And now back to our regular programming.

 

What I have is okay with me. I am not here talking, complaining about my relationships or my life, am I?

[stampdaddy]

Fu*king stop it!

[bentnotbroken]

What is with the bolded, b letters? are you yelling at me? LOL...

 

 

 

Correct I am nobody, just as you are nobody here. But I will point out hypocrisy when I see one. If you are affected by it, that is your choice.

 

 

 

Oh? nice dodge. Southerners are one of the most polite people I have met. I guess you have a lot of ways to change your language so that it will reflect your er..Christ-filled heart.

 

 

Perhaps you should keep that kind of language within the family then, as you and them are used to it.

 

 

 

He wouldn't do anything about it. He has allowed people to trash the woman he loves, I suspect because this is JUST THE NET, and posters here do not figure in his real life, or maybe he agrees with the trashing and your assessment of his MW, who knows?

I don't need an excuse, because you can't show me anything anyway..}

{/quote]

 

Show you anything what? You are not making sense.

 

 

 

LOL...THAT is your own assumption of my views.

 

 

 

What is tami aaahh tami aaah? are you ok? I am not qualified at all to say what she needs or don't need. I am just perplexed how somebody who is in love with a person, claims to continue to be in love with her and yet when the chips are down....well..chooses to let her fall...like I said before, maybe she deserves it...I do not know...

 

She has hit rock bottom, what else do people want?

 

 

 

What I have is okay with me. I am not here talking, complaining about my relationships or my life, am I?

 

 

****Sigh*** the bolded parts were to separate your words from mine. You are sad aren't you, I'm sorry. I didn't realize until now. I apologize, I didn't know.

[bentnotbroken]

Fu*king stop it!

 

 

You're right. Sorry. I am out, my message said it all for me.

[whichwayisup]

Stamp, you know what I am learning, There are some things we cannot do for our partners, they have to do it themselves.... I have always tried to take the burden off of my guys shoulders... but he was not dealing with his issues. I have now stepped back, and he needs to walk this walk on his own, and hopefully he will come out on the end healed. Its kinda of like dying, no one can do it for you... Step back and let her do her walk....alone..If its meant to be she will return. The "affair Relationship has to die" Let it die.. let her heal, let yourself heal... and if it was love, you can rebuild on a heathly normal foundation.

 

The bolded part has to happen, if MW and Stamps have a chance. She has to sort herself out, settle her kids, do counselling, learn how to co-parent.. And get along enough with her ex-H. None of it will be easy, but it will be easier on her (MW) IF she gets help (counselling) - These are the things Stamps is looking for, some positive change that will benefit, not only her, but the kids and maybe a future relationship with her at some point. Until she does that, nothing is going to change.

 

lol..she needs to hit rock bottom, and you deemed that necessary for her because????? who are you again?

 

This woman is lost, broken, thinks she has nothing left inside her....do you not think that is a cry for help? If a person thinks she has nothing left inside her, she is in essence dead in spirit or at least dying within herself. And you think she needs to hit rock bottom...?

 

People don't change unless they have to, unless they hit their worst, their rockbottom. This MW is very close to the bottom..And once one hits the bottom, there's no where to go except up OR stay at the bottom. MW has to choose, sink or swim. And yeah, she has to do this alone, without Stamps shoulder, supporting her.. He can do this, but from afar, not by bailing her out and preventing the worst. She has to learn from her mistakes, and so far it seems she hasn't.

[boldjack]

Tami, I HAVE read the christian Bible. Many verses are committed to memory. You talk about pointing out hypocrisy, when you are one of the most hypocritical people on this forum. You are judging Shemp and have judged many BS's and insulted many others. "Judge not, lest ye be judged". Perhaps you should look at your own motivation, and try to help the OP, instead of criticizing him. Shemp, You are doing the best you can. You have supported this woman and shown your love for her, but you can't walk in her shoes. Her "cries for help", are nothing but wind, UNTIL SHE MAKES THE EFFORT TO CHANGE. For herself and for her kids.

[stampdaddy]

Almighty God,

 

"As we begin the life of another day we would humbly and sincerely seek Thee as our guide, our protector and merciful Saviour. We know not what snares may be laid for our feet, what sudden trials we may have to meet, or what burdens we may have to bear during this day. Make us wise to see where temptation lies; make us strong to resist. Give us consciences tender and quick to recognize sin.

 

Enable us to consider the needs of each other. By helpful word and deed may we make it easier for someone to be strong and faithful. May this day not pass until we have done some good in the Master's Name to such as have need. Grant us, our Father, the forgiveness of all of our sins, and enable us to forgive one another as Christ commanded us. Grant these, and all other blessings that Thou seest we need, through Jesus Christ, our Lord."

 

today's prayer

[bentnotbroken]

Almighty God,

 

"As we begin the life of another day we would humbly and sincerely seek Thee as our guide, our protector and merciful Saviour. We know not what snares may be laid for our feet, what sudden trials we may have to meet, or what burdens we may have to bear during this day. Make us wise to see where temptation lies; make us strong to resist. Give us consciences tender and quick to recognize sin.

 

Enable us to consider the needs of each other. By helpful word and deed may we make it easier for someone to be strong and faithful. May this day not pass until we have done some good in the Master's Name to such as have need. Grant us, our Father, the forgiveness of all of our sins, and enable us to forgive one another as Christ commanded us. Grant these, and all other blessings that Thou seest we need, through Jesus Christ, our Lord."

 

today's prayer

 

 

Amen. :)

[stampdaddy]

This is hhow I am trying to live my life on a daily basis.. I am trying to to my best, and in regards wo her, I believe the best is to hope and pray that she too can open her eyes this morning, and all of the "tomorrow mornings" and start her day this way. Having faith, being strong and trusting God that it will all be OK.. But, she has to start with a "today" and she hasn't yet....

 

Have a good day all

[JMC]

Some day if you chose to understand a real Christian, give me a call. Until then deal with what you see from me. Oh yeah, the other thing Jesus would have done is tried to help her....if she wanted it. And by this woman's behavior, she isn't there yet. She will need to hit rock bottom to see that she needs help.

 

You? :laugh::laugh:

 

Oh my.