TheDingo Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 As the update yes we are still working on it ever since discovery day on Dec. 20 when I got caught. It's getting better though there are still some moments she does get upset but what I don't get is why does she focus all her anger at the other woman mainly and not at me? I'm the one that put her through all this pain. It was me who betray in the most horrible that if I had a magic wand I would take away that terrible memory of that day from her and erase it. Shouldn't she be focusing her anger and hate towards me?? I deserve all the bad naming calling and anger venting but yet she directs it at the my ex OW. The lastest one was when she told me she hates so much that she wants to cripple her. And with me she is still nice. Why? I tried explaining it was me who she should be angry at. Link to post Share on other sites
missdependant Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Haha.. I mean it's not funny, but I'm totally in your girlfriend's situation! I have completely forgiven my boyfriend for cheating on me a long time ago. But I still HATE the other woman! The other woman is a conniving snake, and I hope she falls off a cliff and lives a long, miserable, vegetative life! Yes, my boyfriend messed up.. but I love him enough to have forgiven him. I never liked the OW, which makes me feel even more just in disliking her. The only memory I have of her, is her weaseling her way into my relationship. She was the other half of the cause of problems in my relationship. I'm not saying my boyfriend did nothing wrong.. but like I said, I am able to forgive my boyfriend. I will never forgive her, because I don't give enough of a rats ass about her. Wow, writing that made me feel like a bitch lol.. but every chick has a crazy bitch side for sure. Especially when it's some other whorebag getting in the middle of a relationship! Be happy that she hates the other woman and not you. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Why are you mad that your focusing on what your girlfriend is thinking of the OW, why are you being protective of that!? Let her vent about the OW, maybe she has forgiven you. dummy... Link to post Share on other sites
Anis Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Yes it's quite rediculous isn't it? Been there done that. Why?? Well I guess for one she couldn't sit there trying to make it work with you if it sunk in just how much YOU have hurt her. Must be a survival tactic, a willing break with reality to achieve the end goal - bliss with you, you lucky dog you. Link to post Share on other sites
bobbeepin Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 I completely agree with the first reply. My b/f cheated on me once with a girl who was constantly coming over, and I could knew what she was trying to do and my b/f and I fought about it constantly b/c he had no feelings for her and thought it was fine because i was there too, until one night he went to a party with her and got drunk, and that was that. I hate her because in my mind it's like if it weren't for her he never would've done it. I knew what she was trying to do but my b/f was oblivious until it happened, and I love my b/f, not that bitch, so it's easier to forgive him. Also, if your g/f is not the kind of girl who'd force her way in the middle of a relationship and sleep with a taken guy, then she has no respect at all for that kind of girl, and maybe that's the way she sees the girl you cheated on her with. I think of my b/f's cheatee as a whore and see her on the lowest level of decency and class, so it's extremely easy and inevitable for me to absolutely despise her. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 It is easier to hate someone you don't know and love. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 As the update yes we are still working on it ever since discovery day on Dec. 20 when I got caught. It's getting better though there are still some moments she does get upset but what I don't get is why does she focus all her anger at the other woman mainly and not at me? I'm the one that put her through all this pain. It was me who betray in the most horrible that if I had a magic wand I would take away that terrible memory of that day from her and erase it. Shouldn't she be focusing her anger and hate towards me?? I deserve all the bad naming calling and anger venting but yet she directs it at the my ex OW. The lastest one was when she told me she hates so much that she wants to cripple her. And with me she is still nice. Why? I tried explaining it was me who she should be angry at. I agree, she SHOULD be a helluva lot more angry at you. But she is devestated and not thinking clearly....if she was in her right state of mind, she'd be leaving you. Maybe later when she possibly calms down and has time to think logically about all this, she still might leave. Still doesn't mean her anger at some s!ut on the side isn't perfectly justified. But if she wants to cripple her...she should want to do the same if not worse to you. Link to post Share on other sites
its only me Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 I was here also. Its easier to hate her. The other woman is the cause of the problem. Yes you know it was wrong, but you did it anyway. Yes (I assume) the O/W knew about your relationship and chose to be with you anyway. Both of you were wrong to cheat. Your girl had time to cry and think AND she did her choice to be with you. It has only been 5 months and the wounds are still there and still hurt. And will still be hurting in the next 5 months. She probably still wants to beat you to a pulp but she wants you to stay, so she thinks she has to be nice. (I did not be nice to either) Why are you so worried about how she hates this O/W anyway? are the feelings still there and you wish she did not know about her, in a way are you sorry it ended? You also should be feeling dislike towards this O/W and work on loving your current. She is working on A LOT in her head. I bet she is thinking you will stray again. IF you want this to work out, quit worrying about the O/W and worry about your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheDingo Posted May 21, 2009 Author Share Posted May 21, 2009 Be happy that she hates the other woman and not you. I know, I'm so lucky to have a wonderful woman that still wants me after what I did. Many would have dump me on the spot. Why are you mad that your focusing on what your girlfriend is thinking of the OW, why are you being protective of that!? Let her vent about the OW, maybe she has forgiven you. dummy... I'm not mad at her venting out on the other woman, I'm ok with her doing that. I can careless if the OW (who's married) was out on the streets with no money. I want nothing to do with her. It's my girlfriend I want to spend my life with, want to make her happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheDingo Posted May 21, 2009 Author Share Posted May 21, 2009 You also should be feeling dislike towards this O/W and work on loving your current. Which that is what I'm doing. I'm working on making my g/f happy everyday if that's possible. I know she will have her venting/angry days or some days when she checks on my email which I understand after what she's going through but I prayed everyday that we gonna make it through this, I know we are. If she hates the OW guess what, I hate her too as well. She is working on A LOT in her head. I bet she is thinking you will stray again. IF you want this to work out, quit worrying about the O/W and worry about your relationship. I know, that's the price I'm paying for my stupidity but I'll always assure her that she's the best thing that ever happened to me and I want to with her only. I wished her pain was passed on to me. I really learned my lesson. Link to post Share on other sites
its only me Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 good for you. You need to re-assure her and let her know she is the one you want. My husband is still doing that daily.... and he has given me the passwords to his email and knows i can check on his phone (bill and phone) when ever I want to.... I know now I don't need to check, and I don't. But he has nothing to hide and that is very comforting to know that. He lets me know I am the one he wants and that the o/w was a HUGE mistake (even though with them it did not involve intercourse, but lots of text, calls and some kisses with caressing) It has been over two years and every once in a while something stupid comes up and reminds me of the B...ch and then I vent.... and he knows to let me and not get mad. Remember when she vents, it is because it hurt her deeply. but though all of this she still wants you! Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts