DavidoffAndorra Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 I know this is blunt but how DO you become a friend with benefits ?? Lets face it, it seems to be less occurring, right ? Where do I start ? Do first impressions count with these types of relationships ? How can I make a strong aquictance a FWB ? How should I be communicating ? Should I be flirting ? Does it matter if ugly or attractive ? How should body language be ?? Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Easy. Take someone home. Have sex with them. Don't spend the night, if you do spend the night you leave first thing in the morning. Don't talk, don't call until you feel the need for another booty-call. Don't ask how their day is going, nothing. To you, the girl is just a walking sex object and nothing more. She doesn't even have a soul. She's just an animated sex doll. If you can't see her like that, then you are headed for mucho complications. You really don't go out looking for these kinds of situations. They just happen, 99.99% of the time due to too much alcohol. In my case, I could only stand the girl when I was drunk and she was naked. But as anyone on here can attest to, these situations are messy. Inevitably one side almost ALWAYS develops feelings and that leads to strangeness. It's almost impossible for normal humans, who aren't in the porn industry, to engage in sex with someone and not grow attached in some way. My advice? Avoid the FWB and go find yourself a girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DavidoffAndorra Posted May 16, 2009 Author Share Posted May 16, 2009 ....my whole point to this was that to give me options for this person I'm interested. I want to get into a relationship but my rapport isn't good as I always just seem to ask question.....hope someone can give advice this problem not only affects my love life friendships aswell..... Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 If you have feelings for this person than FWB is NOT FOR YOU. The only, and ONLY way FWB works is if you AND the other person have ZERO, let me repeat that ZERO!!!!!! interest in seeing each other anywhere other than the bedroom or where ever you plan to screw each other's brains out. If you have .0000000000001% amount of feelings for this person, then your FWB will turn ugly. Think about it. If you had sex with a hooker, would you fall in love with her? That's what a FWB should be to you, a hooker only hopefully a little bit classier. FWB's rarely work, so why get yourself in a jam? Pursue this person into a relationship, something that has meaning. If it's sex you want, use your hand. Much less drama. Same result. Less sticky cleanup. Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Red Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Is this the girl from church that you are referring to? If so, do you really understand what a FWB is? Link to post Share on other sites
Odyssey Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 FWB never work in the long run because one of you will, eventually develop feelings for the other. It's not just sex, you'll start doing couple things together and that's when the emotional attachment starts. My situation was slightly different, we started as friends but didn't want a serious relationship. So i thought we had a great deal. Eventually, we started hanging out together more and I developed feelings to her. I became jealous of her dating other people and then we began arguing more... My advice is either be friends or a couple. Don't aim for anything in-between, otherwise one of you will get hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DavidoffAndorra Posted May 16, 2009 Author Share Posted May 16, 2009 ...... Ok well I do want to be in relationship with this person, I do have feelings for this person, I guess I misunderstood what a FWB was in the first place. i don't want to have sex with her at all right now, just being with her would satisfy me completly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DavidoffAndorra Posted May 16, 2009 Author Share Posted May 16, 2009 And by the way, I would never want to have sex with her immediatly.....That would be a nightmare. I mean after a while, ok yes, but I want be to in a tight romantic relationship where me and her are committed. Link to post Share on other sites
Odyssey Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Yeah, for me having sex too soon and rushing into a relationship, pretty much killed even our friendship, which I regret the most. Since then, i have certainly learned from my mistakes and I hope she did too. In your original post, you'd mentioned, if you "should be flirting"? Definitely, if she's flirts with you. Just keep it light, occasional and half-joking kinda flirt though, otherwise it comes off as creepy. "Does it matter if ugly or attractive"? I'm confused - you talking about yourself or her?!? My last advice to you, is take things slowly. And don't be over-accommodating to her that you lose sight of who you are as a person. Listen to your heart and what your head tells you. Engage in life and you'll be fine Link to post Share on other sites
Author DavidoffAndorra Posted May 17, 2009 Author Share Posted May 17, 2009 Well...my heart tells me I want to really commit to her, but not be so dramatic with myself about it. What made you mention over accomadating ?? Link to post Share on other sites
LoveLace Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 Well it's clear that FWB is not what you really want here...so yea do some flirting, maybe express some interest, ultimately asking her out on a date...to me it should be pretty traditional steps to take here, since you are truly wanting a relationship with her. Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 There are only really three rules of a FWB: 1. Never say "I love you" 2. Never give any commitments 3. Never cause a pregnancy Apart from that just treat it like any other relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
chimpy Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 4. and don't get an STD; your FWB will end someday and you'd hate to have an STD to permanently remind you of the temporary pleasure. so use a condom. Link to post Share on other sites
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