7 weeks and he broke NC, sort of.

[wiseup]

7 weeks ago he threw me under the bus, sent me an email telling me I should give it another shot with my ex-bf who I broke up with b/c of him and he'll remove himself as an obstacle by never contacting me again. We didn't have any contact after that in any way, shape or form. And ever since then I've been reconnecting with my own friends a lot. I just got home from meeting with my friends and found an email from him.

 

It's a forwarded msg from our program about registration next semester and for some reason my name wasn't on the mailing list. This has happened before. The secrectary is a bit dizzy I guess. I have told her I am sometimes not on the mailing list several times already.

 

Anyway, here's what he wrote:

 

I thought this message was pretty important and noticed that your email is missing from the recipient list. No need to thank or reply.

Seriously?! I mean, it was a nice little gesture from him if he wasn't trying to see if i am still around since I have been ignoring him to the max. But God knows how many nice things I have done for him? He forwards me an email and I am really supposed to "thank him"? Then for all the pain and tears he caused me, am I supposed to kick him in the nuts? I went online and changed my status to "wasn't gonna". He wasn't online but if he goes on he should be able to see it.

 

The program sent the email at 12pm today and he forwarded it to me at 8:30 on a Friday night. What is he trying to do? If he's testing the water, why the "No need to thank or reply" part?

[NoIDidn't]

It made your day, didn't it?

 

You should be moving on, but instead you are still a lady in waiting for a man that has shown you the door.

 

I'm sure you can do better than this. Stop dissecting this. Its not healthy. You are playing a game and so is he.

[Chrome Barracuda]

Wow, why dont you block his emails?

 

Also you broke up with your boyfriend because that was your choice to do so.

 

Dont blame the OM for choices you made of your only free will.

[wiseup]

It made your day, didn't it?

 

You should be moving on, but instead you are still a lady in waiting for a man that has shown you the door.

 

I'm sure you can do better than this. Stop dissecting this. Its not healthy. You are playing a game and so is he.

 

NO. It did NOT make my day.

 

I wasn't entirely surprised to see him name pop up in my mailbox again. I guess subconciously I knew it would happen some day, if not sooner than later. I did not have the "made my day" feeling cuz I finally realized I am not gonna be happy with so little. I want to be with someone who can and is willing to give me a lot more than this.

 

You are right. He probably is playing a game. I just want to know this game and know his intentions and beat him at it.

[wiseup]

Wow, why dont you block his emails?

 

Also you broke up with your boyfriend because that was your choice to do so.

 

Dont blame the OM for choices you made of your only free will.

 

You are absolutely right, CB. I wasn't blaming him for breaking up with my ex-bf. It was my own choice. Although to be honest, if it wasn't for him, I probably would've tried harder with my ex-bf.

 

I blame him however, for giving me crumbs and yet somehow he still feels that I should "thank him".

 

I am just trying to understand him and figure out what my next move should be.

[Chrome Barracuda]

You are absolutely right, CB. I wasn't blaming him for breaking up with my ex-bf. It was my own choice. Although to be honest, if it wasn't for him, I probably would've tried harder with my ex-bf.

 

I blame him however, for giving me crumbs and yet somehow he still feels that I should "thank him".

 

I am just trying to understand him and figure out what my next move should be.

 

WTF, what is there to understand this guy said all the right things to you, to get in them thongs and it worked, and now he's abandoned you. You fell for the game hook line and sinker. The best thing is now you have hindsight to make complete and full rational choices. This guy should not be contacting you whatsoever, have you sent him a NC letter?

[bentnotbroken]

You are absolutely right, CB. I wasn't blaming him for breaking up with my ex-bf. It was my own choice. Although to be honest, if it wasn't for him, I probably would've tried harder with my ex-bf.

 

I blame him however, for giving me crumbs and yet somehow he still feels that I should "thank him".

 

I am just trying to understand him and figure out what my next move should be.

 

 

 

He is easy to figure out. Do you usually walk trough the middle of a pile of crap? Most people avoid walking through the pile. They jump over it, go around it and some times the scoop it up and put it in the trash. They are very careful not to get any on them because if they do, the stink is unbearable. It's hard to get off your shoes, and the smell lingers. It follows everywhere you go and people start to avoid even the nicest person because they have this funky smell on them. There is only so much stank people can handle before they decide to clean themselves up or throw away everything holding that smell.

 

So what's to figure out? A pile of s**t is just that a pile a s**t. It is the waste of the world. It's what the body gets rid of. It's only purpose is to feed certainly bottom feeders and fertilize the earth when it finally dries up and blows away. It has no artistic beauty, no words, it stinks, doesn't feel good to touch, and I have been told(by my toddler once:o)that it's nasty to taste. So what are you waiting for to block him? Unless you like the stench.

[jwi71]

Actually CB, I would disagree on the letter (which is contact).

 

IF this has been the only contact and IF her name was not on the distribution list...then this, to me, is simply him being courteous and informing wiseup of some important info that she obviously didn't get.

 

Occam's razor...

[JeezLouise]

Daggone. I thought it was pretty nice of him, as this was an official item that you may have needed .

 

Many many OW get a bit of contact, and so they feel the need to immediately re-contact in return, lying to themselves that it would be rude not to respond, or to think to themselves that MM is testing the waters for restarting the affair. He is telling you directly that there is no need to thank you and that there is no need for recontact.

 

Damn - if the guy had neglected to send it and you had failed to get registered in time (or something), then you would call him a butthole. He does something adult and courteous, and you call him a butthole.

 

The dude can't win.

 

IMHO, just accept it and keep moving forward. You are making this more than it ought to be by all this unnecessary anger.

[whichwayisup]

Block his email address!

 

I blame him however, for giving me crumbs and yet somehow he still feels that I should "thank him".

 

You accepted his crumbs..Yes, he was a good liar and all, but this shouldn't come as a total shock. He was/is married. So, to put this ALL on him isn't really fair, is it?

[wiseup]

And the fact that he still doesn't want me in his life by saying he doesn't want me to reply hurts.

[whichwayisup]

I'm sure it does hurt..He kind of is rubbing this in your face. Emailing you and then telling you not to bother replying back to him. But, don't try to figure him out..You'll never know what he is truly thinking.

 

You have to block him on your email.

[wiseup]

Seeing that the email was sent at 8:30 on a Friday night.

 

I know he and his W have no social life whatsoever. And it gets bored pretty fast if a couple has no one else to share activities with, at least according to my own experiences. So maybe he was just bored and therefore misses me a bit?

 

PS: He has logged on AIM 3 times today already. He told me before that he basically only talks to me online, which I believe is true cuz like I mentioned before he doesn't have many friends. He would log in and log out right away after 2 secs. I know, another game, right? Except that I don't really know what the game is about. What is he trying to achieve? Spy on me? and then what?

 

Seriously, logging in and out nonstop, wtf?

[whichwayisup]

You have no idea what their life is like behind closed doors..

 

BLOCK HIM. His email and on AIM. You are going to make yourself crazy trying to figure out the "why's" here. It's over and the only way you can not hurt is to avoid him completely. Online especially.

 

Even if he misses you, so what? All that does is make you feel good for afew minutes. He misses you..But in the long run, it means nothing because he's at home with his wife.

[NoIDidn't]

Seeing that the email was sent at 8:30 on a Friday night.

 

I know he and his W have no social life whatsoever. And it gets bored pretty fast if a couple has no one else to share activities with, at least according to my own experiences. So maybe he was just bored and therefore misses me a bit?

 

PS: He has logged on AIM 3 times today already. He told me before that he basically only talks to me online, which I believe is true cuz like I mentioned before he doesn't have many friends. He would log in and log out right away after 2 secs. I know, another game, right? Except that I don't really know what the game is about. What is he trying to achieve? Spy on me? and then what?

 

Seriously, logging in and out nonstop, wtf?

 

 

What were you doing before this misadventure? Go back to doing that. You have far too much time on your hands now that you have taken to counting the amount of times he boots up his computer (which probably automatically logs him in to AIM).

 

Let him go. You are still trying to read the tea leaves. And its a waste of time.

[JeezLouise]

NO. It did NOT make my day.

 

I wasn't entirely surprised to see him name pop up in my mailbox again. I guess subconciously I knew it would happen some day, if not sooner than later. I did not have the "made my day" feeling cuz I finally realized I am not gonna be happy with so little. I want to be with someone who can and is willing to give me a lot more than this.

 

You are right. He probably is playing a game. I just want to know this game and know his intentions and beat him at it.

 

Actually, it sounds like it DID make your day. Now you can sit around and believe that he is miserable and misses you and that he has no friends and they have no social life and that he is playing games - and you are clearly enjoying these thoughts.

 

if you don't want to hear from him, then block his email, and call the secretary and tell her point blank to make sure that you are on the distribution list (as you should have done anyway), and that if you are left off important emails, then you will take it to the dean.

[NoIDidn't]

I just want to know this game and know his intentions and beat him at it.

 

You wanna know the best way to beat him at his game?

 

Lean in, I'll tell you.

 

Ignore him and mean it. Move on. Get over him and go on and live your life to the fullest without him.

 

If he is playing a game, he needs for you to pine for him. Don't pine for him and you win.

 

Allowing yourself to play this game keeps you from getting over him and getting on with your life.

 

So, get with the winning this game by cutting all possible access to him and move on with your life (as much as possible, since you work with him).