Things are intense. How should I act during our time off?

[Girlygirl1977]

I'm back with a bf I originally dated when I was 23 for 2.5 years. He's 2 years older and I"m 32 now. We worked together originaly but broke up after a period of long distance (LA-NY) which was not going to end due to upcoming grad school etc. Also we were both not looking towards real commitment then.

 

I've never lived and felt like I've been living and feelings this week - this is good thing though it is a period of uncertainty. I've stopped with being logical etc. and am going to just act with my instincts. We started dating mid-March again but he moved 1.5 hours away (Philly) 10 days after. I'm in NY. I was observing the relationship vs. really being in it and he apparently was 100% in it. I wanted to make sure he was really serious before letting my guard down. He came to tell me this on Monday and Tuesday we talked for 4.5 hours till 3am. He wsa surprised as he was beginning to doubt I even liked him (that's how he rationalized my being disagreeable and cold; i was just protecting myself). I drove down to Philly on Wednesday instead of going to work and we had a wondeful time together. I woke up at 5am on Thursday to go to work. On friday I had a bday dinner (yesterday) and he still came. He told me Wed reminded him of how we were back in 2002 - really great together.

 

He came for my birthday dinner and remains very affectionate with me - telling me I'm beautiful and acting the same as when things were good for him. I just want to power through it but I have to respect what he wants.

 

Today was very sexual (some of the best ever). in case there was any doubt on our chemistry that was removed. We even had sex without a condom - I think we just wanted skin-to-skin (not so wise probably but somehow, he tried it first and I didn't stop him). I am on the pill though at least. He didn't come in me but came on me (my stomach). I somehow decided to rub it all over my upper body after too - again my instincts.

 

He ended that he does want to regroup because that's how we can go to zero. his head is also spinning b/c on monday he thought he was coming to talk to someone who was not really interested in him and now he got the reverse. We set a date of June 15th to meet in NY but if he gets really emotional, he said he could call in 2 wks to say we should restart etc. So I guess we have this risk now. I dont want to do it but I have to respect his wishes. I asked what the rules are. He said we can talk if we each have something meaningful to say to the other. He will not date anyone and neither will I. He said he can't make me but he doesn't want me to. I resopnded that of course I wouldn't because "You're my guy".

 

Anyway - it's been really intense of late but I'm pretty decided on my thoughts now - which are that he is amazing and really evolved and sex/attraction is very good. How should approach this now - act?