nicolas465 Posted October 24, 2003 Share Posted October 24, 2003 hi all, Ok, I was reading some girl magazine just for the hell of it , the topic was on what girls want out of guys. When reading a few paragraphs several girls wrote " My guy can't be shy, and it's ok for him to touch me (besides for hugging and cuddling)." Well I thought that it was great!! However, when watching a movie with my girlfriend (she's 15 and I'm 16) I asked her if it was ok that I touch her breast, and she said ok. So when we were making out I put my hand up her shirt ( I was gentle). But after, she said she felt uncomfortable around me and she didn't even really want to sit near me or anything. I told her that if she didn't like to do that we wouldn't do it again... but I'm a guy... and well you know... it's not like I'm asking for sex or anything. So now I'm confused... do girls not liked being touched ? Some girl , anybody give me some sort of perspective here. I appreciate any help. Thanks, Nicolas Link to post Share on other sites
JustSomePerson Posted October 24, 2003 Share Posted October 24, 2003 wonder how old the girls that magazine were? Link to post Share on other sites
andreautick Posted October 24, 2003 Share Posted October 24, 2003 The joys of teen dating! Just kidding:) (I'm barely 20 myself) Girls DO like touching, but only if it's right for them and at the right time. And, I don't think it's really great when a guy ASKS if he can do something--it can take the magic out of it. But, by no means go against her will. The better way (I think-as a girl) is to try it and sense her reaction, if she tenses up or seems uneasy and has negative body language, quit. Also, it's ok to try something and break the kiss to say "Is this ok? Are you sure?" or something like that. You two are pretty young, and at that age it can be uncomfy for the girl, especially if she hasn't gone that far. Don't take it too personally. Maybe you should ask her why she's feeling the way she is and try to figure her out, and explain your side of thiings. Talking is AlWAYS good. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
The Velvet Vixen Posted October 24, 2003 Share Posted October 24, 2003 Females like to be touched by guys they are attracted to and feel comfortable with. Link to post Share on other sites
midori Posted October 24, 2003 Share Posted October 24, 2003 I'd say that there needs to be spontaneity in a move like that. It's great to ask permission like you did since you guys are just starting out with the physical stuff. But to ask permission in advance seems rather stiff and strange. Believe me, I think it's great that you're respectful of your girlfriend. But I think I'd feel weird if I were asked a hypothetical "can I touch .." and then later it was put into action. It would feel scripted and forced. What would be better would be to do what you have been doing, and then at that moment ask if she minds if you touch her in a new place. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted October 24, 2003 Share Posted October 24, 2003 Yeah, I know it's the PC thing to do, but I've never done that whole "asking permission' thing. I would think it would really turn the girl off. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nicolas465 Posted October 24, 2003 Author Share Posted October 24, 2003 hi guys.... It's me the Questioner, I'm not really sure what you guys are telling me.... so you guys are saying to not ask.... just do it... but then while doing it ask if it's ok? or just kinda work my way there and before i do ask if it's ok? you guys kinda lost me... maybe gimmie a scenario... or something a lil more specific... something to work off of... i just don't want her to think i'm out to get sex and slapp me..i really do like her Link to post Share on other sites
midori Posted October 24, 2003 Share Posted October 24, 2003 Originally posted by nicolas465 hi guys.... It's me the Questioner, or just kinda work my way there and before i do ask if it's ok? exactly. You're kissing her like you have been, and your hand strays down near her breast. Then you ask, "may I?" Etc. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted October 24, 2003 Share Posted October 24, 2003 Or maybe just go near but don't go for the goodies directly. Instead, confine your caresses to the areas above, beside, and below her breast I suspect if you do that enough times, hormones will take over and she will put your hand directly on her breast because your getting close has made her want more. It is very sensual to have the fellow do nice things all around an erogenous zone without zooming right in. I'd be very surprised if you did that sort of thing several times, only going as close as she's comfortable with, and she didn't take the initiative to have you do more. Just a little trick for you from some fellows I've known Link to post Share on other sites
Author nicolas465 Posted October 24, 2003 Author Share Posted October 24, 2003 Ok it's me the questionner, Alrighty, so we've established that not jumping right in is a good idea yay! ok, i'll listen to your guyses advise. Is there any other way to get your girlfriend's hormones runnin, w/out u know goin for the breasts or the ermm... private parts... would like back masages or something work? Link to post Share on other sites
midori Posted October 24, 2003 Share Posted October 24, 2003 stroking her head, her neck -- the neck is very erogenous for many women -- ought to do the trick. Kissing her ear (gently!). But I'll say that for me (and most of my women friends) a guy who is confident enough to make moves that he wants to make, while OF COURSE being respectful of whether or not I'm comfortable/into it, is what does it for me. A guy who is too hesitant/shy is a turn off. For me. Bear in mind that I am not a 16 year old, nor have I been for many years... so using more caution with your gf might be in order! But you mentioned that your gf felt weird about you touching her breasts after you'd asked and received permission. I would feel that way about a guy who was being too reserved, too lacking in confidence, and not taking initiative. Link to post Share on other sites
ArdeaCandidissima Posted October 24, 2003 Share Posted October 24, 2003 ...her shoulders is a great way to get started. Perhaps you're relaxing on the grass in a private spot. You sit behind her and start rubbing her shoulders, then back, then arms. Then she leans back against you and you just continue as described above. Be sensitive to her body language to see if she wants more or less, and it nevers hurts to whisper "How does that feel?" Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted October 24, 2003 Share Posted October 24, 2003 But you mentioned that your gf felt weird about you touching her breasts after you'd asked and received permission. I would feel that way about a guy who was being too reserved, too lacking in confidence, and not taking initiative. I don't know about that. She may not have had anybody touch her breast before, and having strangers mess with your bits is something you kind of have to get used to. I suspect she wasn't quite ready to be touched that intimately. Nicolas - the other suggestions are good. If you're giving her a back massage, you could be in a postion to wrap your arms around her when it's over. You can end up with your hands just beneath her breasts and be kissing her neck. I really think the guys who make girls want more are the best of the lot - rather than grabbing for the gold first off. I guess, though, some gals like to be taken rather than tempted but I'd not try that with a teenage lass; I'd save it for later when you're dealing with people who've been around the block a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
midori Posted October 24, 2003 Share Posted October 24, 2003 your best bet will be to go with what feels right to you, and what you perceive in your girlfriend's behaviors and actions. We here can only give you our own personal preferences, or tell you how we would react to different things. But none of us are your girlfriend, nor do we know where she's coming from. In the end you'll have to decide what best fits your situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nicolas465 Posted October 24, 2003 Author Share Posted October 24, 2003 hi, c'est moi, the questioner hahaha thanks guys, you've been really helpful. now that your all probably thinking i'm a guy that doesn't like his gf, i 'm just looking for ideas on what kinds of stuff i can do while hanging out w/my gf like activities... within reason like... i dunno going to the mall? I dunno, i just wanna do stuff so that she'll have fun w/me and like me more... oh yea... anything u girls find... errm 'sweet' that a guy does? ... and i know chocolates are outta date... err overdone.. watever lol Link to post Share on other sites
CaterpillarGirl Posted October 25, 2003 Share Posted October 25, 2003 Originally posted by nicolas465 oh yea... anything u girls find... errm 'sweet' that a guy does? ... and i know chocolates are outta date... err overdone.. watever lol Take time to discover her interest..and then play to it. If she likes to read, find out what type of genre she's into (biographies, romance novels, scifi, etc) and buy her a book...and write a nice little note in the cover. If she's an animal lover, take her to the park to feed the birds or a zoo, if there's a nice one nearby. If she's athletic, grab your bikes or skates and race around the block, or take a stroll somewhere. If she's a movie lover, buy (or rent) a movie you'd think she'd like and take it over to her house with some popcorn. Etc, etc, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
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