Can you control who you fall in love with?

[Natalie]

A question for everyone....Can you control who you fall in love with? What is it? If someone falls in love with a married man/woman, can they really help it? It's not like one does it all the time?! In that case...than it's totally immoral. Period. But for once in your life, if you fall in love with a married man/woman, and really feels like this is the one, should you just ignore it? How are you supposed to cope with your feelings? Especially if you're feelings are being answered by the other party. (sigh) life is hard.

[Tony T]

Of course you can control it. If you have no control over the decisions you make, and loving someone is a decision, they you're in big trouble. If you are emotionally weak or have little self control and are inclined to fall in love with married or otherwise encumbered members of the opposite sex, just don't get close to them. This is not rocket science. And if you do accidentally fall in love with someone who is married, just don't act on it. You don't have to move on every person you fall in love with. That's just nuts!!!

 

And life is not hard unless you make it that way. If you want to make things real hard for yourself, then go ahead and respond to the approaches of a married man. You can get a broken heart, get shot to death or a host of other things can happen to you. I watch this stuff happen all the time on Court TV and Jerry Springer.

[moimeme]

One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to think you can be 'just friends' with a person who is in a relationship. If you find you have a lot in common with someone who's married and if you find that person attractive as well, then you have to forget about him. Take it from someone who has had to do it bunches of times. Sigh. It's unfortunate, but often fellows who might have been great matches for you have already been taken and that's just the fact of life. It is a HUGE drag, because you have to forego the friendship and company of someone you would surely enjoy, but it's not ethical and it's not fair to the person's spouse. Nor is it acceptable to cop out and say it's his choice. Marriages can sometimes get a little rocky and it is a rotten thing to do to take advantage of that.

 

As I sit here, I can think of three fellows I know of right now who, if circumstances were different, I would probably hook up with because we've got a connection, but nobody is going to act on that. In the end, it's worth it to be a person of integrity, IMHO.

[jade]

I wished that we were able to chose who we fall in love with...I work with a number of men that I know have affairs on their wives. Some are lonely, some are horney and some just want the adventure. I don't think that it's a fair that all the "other woman or other man" are ridiculed. People don't always make the right decisions for their lives but it doesn't mean they are homewreckers or sluts. Obviously, the homes were already in despair for the "cheating spouse" to stray in the first place. So therefore, I can't say that I feel sorry for the "little Lady". She should take care of the man she has and cherish him for who he is before someone else does and does a better job of it.