Joeytheclown Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 To be straight to the point I'm soon to be engaged somewhat this November if possible and i'm my to getting my bachelor's degree on lawyer major. Anyways we been at it for 5 years. We were both 17 and in high school back then. Anyways a year later I fonded some a random girl I was asked on a dare by my former ex friends. I realized I couldn't complete the dare and cancelled it, leaving it at fonding along with making out. I didn't get the 100 bucks but didn't care, I was already guilty. Anyways must I tell her so it's been a while. I learned from this. I know you people might changed the tables around and ask how I would feel if she did the same and if I wanted to know. No I would not, after a year why bother. As long as it doesn't deal with bringing me an STD or getting pregnant by another guy. So do I tell or just leave it as a mistake and carry this to my grave. The least I wanna do is hurt her. But I still think about it and sometimes just doesn't go away. Mind you but could you not judge me nor lecture me on what bad thing I did. I don't need lectures. Just how should I move on from this guilt without hurting her or making it too obvious? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Joeytheclown Posted May 19, 2009 Author Share Posted May 19, 2009 As I mentioned I want no lectures or what type of person I am nor do I care in hearing what you would have done if you were my finacee who got cheated. I careless about what you would do, I want to know how to get rid of this guilt that's not letting my get over it and move on to my engagement in peace. And yes I do love her. Please don't be contradicting and saying I don't cos I do. So what now??? Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 This is one of those things where you prolly shouldnt tell her and carry it to your grave. Its one of those things where telling her might only hurt her, and ruin her trust in you. If she trusts you now, and you arent going to cheat on her, theres no reason to blab this just to relieve your guilt. Eventually, if you keep it out of your head, you will forget about it and you wont have the nagging guilt anymore. Bury it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Joeytheclown Posted May 19, 2009 Author Share Posted May 19, 2009 Bury it. Thank you I will be doing. It's beenlong since the inicident. Me telling would equal life long term distrust follow by her either leaving me or if not I picture it will not be the same again. The last thing I need is my emails being checked or giving her phone bills for one stupid thing I did 4 years ago. No I will not risk it now. I'll carry this burden all the way to my grave. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Dont worry, you will eventually forget about it. what you did wasnt even bad. MAke her happy which will in turn keep you happy. make new memories to forget the old ones. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 At least you feel guilty about it. Because you didn't have sex with the girl, you should just let this one thing go. Don't let it ruin the current relationship that you cherish. Link to post Share on other sites
Bejita463 Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 In my mind, cheating is cheating. Kissing is not really any better than screwing, to me. I think some part of you agrees, or you'd not still be thinking about it. What you decide to do, or not do about it, is up to your own integrity. If you do decide to tell, you'll find the issue she'll probably have with it is not the action that is long and over with, but why it took you so long to tell her. A valid question that, were the tables reversed, you'd likely have too. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 It's a potentially hazardous situation because she could always find out, and if she does there will be the inevitable questions of why you did it and how does she know that there haven't been other such incidents. You'll lose credibility if she finds out. At this point, though, if it were me, I'd gamble and just move on and hope that she never finds out. Link to post Share on other sites
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Maybe she has done the same thing, and would you want to know? It almost sounds like you never even thought of that as a possibility. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Joeytheclown Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 It's a potentially hazardous situation because she could always find out, and if she does there will be the inevitable questions of why you did it and how does she know that there haven't been other such incidents. You'll lose credibility if she finds out. No I know for sure there is no way of her finding this out. First it was a random girl I never saw again since and from what one of my former friends told me, she travels to different places. And second it's been a long while since I don't talk to my so called friends no more. I have other good friends. Lastly I wouldn't be found to use my real name when writing this, as you never know who can be reading this. Anyways I'm planning to forget this and marry her. Now hypothetically speaking if she were to find out somehow then I would be embarrassed. Don't know what I would do in that case. But I'm hoping for the best now. Maybe she has done the same thing, and would you want to know? It almost sounds like you never even thought of that as a possibility. Not really. Like I stated before as long as it doesn't deal with STD's nor her carrying another man's child then no I would not want to know. If it happened no ago why bother now. I try not to think of it but yes you never know. I'm just assuming she hasn't cheated, not that I know of. Link to post Share on other sites
420honey Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Don't tell her about it. Go through life with the guilt of being a cheater in the back of your mind. Link to post Share on other sites
420honey Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 and hope she doesn't ever find out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Joeytheclown Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 and hope she doesn't ever find out. Yes I know and in my opinion there's 98% she will never find out. There will always be the other 2% but I'm hoping for the best. Think if it were to hypothetically happened then I guess I can say no to it and she will believe me. Telling does not good, yes it will relieve me from this guilt but what good will it do to her, nothing but trouble, distrust, and possibly asking me the same questions till I get tired of it. Plus I want to get marry this year in November and I'm ready. Link to post Share on other sites
JeezLouise Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 T/J What is a "bachelors degree on lawyer major"? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Joeytheclown Posted May 21, 2009 Author Share Posted May 21, 2009 T/J What is a "bachelors degree on lawyer major"? What does this have to do with the post I'm writing about here? Off topic don't you think as this is the infidelity section? Link to post Share on other sites
JeezLouise Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 I said it was off-topic; I like to learn about things, and this was a new type of degree I had never heard of, and wanted to educate myself about it. Link to post Share on other sites
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