Whoops...getting myself in a stickier and stickier situation.

[True2form]

So recently, a lot of things happened at once, my boyfriend has been really busy, keeps being deceitful about money, makes me pay for everything in a really shifty way (e.g. we took his friend out to a restaurant, he said all night I'll pay, I'll pay, the second the bill arrived..."Oh, I really can't afford that.") and he keeps condescending me.

 

He still messages/calls me every day being sweet and saying "I love you" but I'm a little on edge because I don't know if this situation is going to worsen or get better because he's got his business hat on at the moment...and I've been guilty in the past of letting problems boil over way too much. I know I need to re-assess this relationship but...

 

To make things even more distracting, I got reunited with an ex (I'd been out of contact with since breaking up end of last august because I was away at uni) at my best friend's birthday. There he told me he missed me very much. All this month, we've all been hanging out together in a big group of friends, I didn't realise how much I missed all his friends and they all missed me but it's great having them back in the social circle as they're always inviting me out drinking and to dinner etc.

 

Last night I felt a bit weird so I was very direct with him and I told him, that I wasn't so sure he was happy about hanging as just friends and I could detect a certain tension about him.

 

He admitted that yes, he was still attracted to me but wouldn't be able to handle the guilt if I broke up with my current boyfriend because of him and tried it again with him only for it to fail.

 

I told him that my problems with my boyfriend are just a coincidence and they're my problem to sort out, i was more worried about losing my re-established friendship with him if something happened between us and then he labelled me as a cheater and couldn't trust me. I said that it's all very well me saying "I'm not a cheat" but this situation is miles away than going out without your partner and kissing a drunk person in a moment of weakness, or meeting someone new and interesting at a party and considering whether or not to tell them you're taken, this is difficult for me because I have deep rooted feelings and friendship with him, i.e. I'm more likely to cock up in this situation. I told him that if we'd never broken up, I'd never have cheated on him because i wouldn't have anyone to miss, which is my one big weakness.

 

I dont really know what I was trying to say but I think it's been taken the wrong way.

 

He said back that he wasn't worried about thinking of me as a cheat, he was more worried that i was going to get freaked out by how he's feeling about me. Then he said, so what happens now? I can't possibly avoid you...

 

I was a bit surprised by this comment and sort of ignored it, i said I didn't know what was to happen, I needed to sort my head around this and then just see where life takes me... p.s. goodnight I'm going to bed now

 

the reply was "ok sweet dreams, I'll see you soon ok? p.s. my hoody [i borrowed said hoody the other night] smells like woman, makes it all the more lonely in here...."

 

..............

What the hell was that? Now I'm thinking uh oh....does he think...!?? What does he think!? I ended up just having to laugh but I dont know what I've done!

 

Sorry this is so long -_-; but that's what I like about these forums, everyone knows weird relationship stories are never one liners lol.

 

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P.S. Don't say that whole "Dont go back to your ex, it ended for a reason" malarkey, that rule does not apply to me in my life. I'm the ex reuniting queen...my current boyfriend was an ex! I'm surrounded by exes! aaaaargh!

[Bejita463]

P.S. Don't say that whole "Dont go back to your ex, it ended for a reason" malarkey, that rule does not apply to me in my life. I'm the ex reuniting queen...my current boyfriend was an ex! I'm surrounded by exes! aaaaargh!

 

 

I apologize in advance, that I was unable to really follow your story. Not enough sleep and I was only skimming to see if I wanted to read it later, and then what I quoted caught my eye.

 

I just had one small, rhetorical question in response to that quoted part. How well has reuniting with exes been working out for you? I only ask because while you seem to be saying you are good at these reunions, that does not mean it is working out for you. Is it?

[True2form]

Yes, I foresaw someone saying this.

 

The current boyfriend is an ex, the relationship up until this problem was going fantastically and this problem is completely unlike what broke us up the first time, so I do believe going back can be possible and it's been working out for me fine. But cut me a break, I'm 21, relationships over a year is a really really long time in my eyes. Me and this former ex have made it to a year when our previous attempt hit the rocks at 2 months.

 

Take what you will from that.

[lkjh]

You need to keep you ex's just that. They are not your friends they are your ex's. You are starting a bad habit of jumping back and fourth and this will continue with you for life if you don't fix it now. It is not ok to be friends with your ex especially when they want more then friendship.

[love2dance]

So why don't you break up with your current boyfriend and try it again with the ex? It sounds like you are pretty unhappy with everything now so why don't you just break it off with your boyfriend? If it doesn't work out you can always go back to the guy you are with now...or stay single for a while until you find a new guy who isn't an ex..

[mogul]

I'm sorry to sound harsh, but any man that cannot provide for a woman/makes her pay all the time is just wrong. In the past with my ex's, i have paid 80% of the expenses/times we go out to eat but occasionally would joke and allow her to "take me on a date" just so i dont feel taken advantage of.