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Can it ever happen?


nicolas465

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hey guys,

ok, a lil dilemma, I'm from CBC (canadian born chinese- pretty much means I'm so canadianized I can't really speak chinese) and this other girl I find really attractive is a FOB (fresh off the boat - immigrant from China... or Taiwan).

 

In Vancouver, i see a large sparation between chinese who are born in canada (CBC's) and the immigrants (FOB's). So I don't really know what to do, right now I don't really know her... so far it's just a physical attraction, and i've been told that the more 'asian' immigrants consider us CBC's as not really chinese at all. I want to go talk to her but.. she's always speaking another language w/her friends and the other day when i smiled and waved at her she just either pretended she didn't see it... or didn't know i waved at her... ugh any ideas?

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I think you are more westernized than anything else. I believe that many of them have stereotypes about western culture and westernized people, and I don’t think there are many of them who look at it favorably.

 

I am assuming that they have different courting rituals. Maybe you should learn more about that. I wish I could offer more advice.

 

Anything is possible.

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since you said she's FOB, can she speak english fluently?? if so, go ahead and show some interest in her maybe she will accept you for who you are.

 

I'm not technically ABC, came when i was 5, but you might say that about me, since idress and talk like one, my cantonese vocabulary isnt very wide...so i can relate to your problem

 

Anyways, one thing i learned about going to HS in nyc (very ethnically mixed) Regardless of one's ability/inability to speak their native language is not that important. As long as people share the same interests and communicate, things will work out. You might be engaged with being open to others and communicating "out" of the CBC group. But if the opposite person shows no interest or has no desire in wanting to know you. simply because they are "ignorant" on their half because they make the choice not to know you because they feel you are in a different world compared to them.

 

i suggest showing interest and greet her everyday, then if there's a chance say "what's up" then talk from there. But most of the time in these types of situations with immigrants is that they can be very anti-social towards people in which they feel is in a different world from theirs. And there's nothing you can really do about it unless they make the choice to be more open....

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