glasshammer Posted October 24, 2003 Share Posted October 24, 2003 I'm 26, My mother, who i rarely see because she lives in Italy and I live in the states, Gave me a ring set (ring,Wedding band)when she last visited me. i'm kind of low on money and saving up for a house and I've been looking for things to sell and thought i'd sell the ring. But part of me, in the back of my mind, would feel bad if i sold it. If i ask her if i can sell it, i'm sure her feelings would be hurt. It's sort of like she put me in a weird situation. She gave it to me saying, If i ever wanted to propose to my girl, I could use this ring if i wanted. I would never give it to my girlfriend, because of the history i think the ring has(wasn't a very good marriage for my mom, the guy was a loser, she had to buy her own wedding ring PLUS, it's not the best loooking ring either) she said it was just a ring she bought for herself, Just to have, Not from any marriage But i'm pretty sure it is. I'd rather buy a special brand new ring if i was going to ask a girl to marry me. My mom has other younger kids. she hasn't forgotten about me, but she doesn't call me too often. She's got her life in Italy with the kids and my Step Father and it's good. I'm happy for her, But since she doesn't really call me much or doesn't ever really know what's going on in my life, I think she felt like she wanted to do something nice for me by giving me the ring, But it just seemed kind of a half ass attempt to help me out, when she didn't need to. i love her a lot i accpet her for who she is. Anyway, What should i do??? Link to post Share on other sites
LadyX Posted October 24, 2003 Share Posted October 24, 2003 I wouldn't sell it. Those kind of things are special, and should be treated that way. Link to post Share on other sites
cindy0039 Posted October 24, 2003 Share Posted October 24, 2003 Judging by some of your comments, I think you're being ungrateful and hard on your mom. I think the ring represents hard work on her part and something she's proud of. For her to give you something that's special to her should mean something to you. Even if you don't think the ring would be something you would want to give to your future wife as her wedding ring, you could always let her decide for herself whether it's something she'd like to wear someday or even have it redesigned into something more modern that she could wear on her other hand. My advice - NO, don't sell the ring. I think you would deeply regret it someday. I'm very proud of the fact that my son still has the diamond I gave him when he was 12 and a ruby ring I gave him a few years ago. It was jewelry his dad had given me when we were married. (I'm divorced from his father). But I thought it might be special to him, and it is. Even though his father and I divorced, the jewelry doesn't have bad connotations to him; it's something his father gave me during happier times. He has been through some very rough spots financially, but never has he considered selling that jewelry. I think that's something to be proud of. He can pass it down to future generations. Think about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author glasshammer Posted October 24, 2003 Author Share Posted October 24, 2003 Is that, I'm pretty sure that it is the ring that she bought herself because like I said, Her husband she was marrying at the time, Didn't have any money to get it for her. So she bought it for herself...And it wasn't a great marriage, bad news, I saw a lot of bad stuff between them. But, she lied i think, and said it's not that ring, But i remember what it looked like, so i'm pretty sure it is. So i'm just going to carry it around for the rest of my life and probably wont ever give it to anybody. I mean i don't know, I'm not trying to be MEAN to my mother, I appreciate that she gave it to me, But i know she's going to be a bit suprised when I don't give it to my loved one someday. I'm sure she'll notice and Inquire about the ring someday. That's what i mean about, I feel like she put me in an awkward position. Link to post Share on other sites
Author glasshammer Posted October 24, 2003 Author Share Posted October 24, 2003 okay how about this??? When the time for proposing DOES arrive and I do ask my girl to marry me and i buy her the ring of her dreams, How do i tell my mother that i chose not to use her ring?? Because i know that she'll notice, she's a very sensitive person and very Dramatic. But i love her, she's my mom. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted October 24, 2003 Share Posted October 24, 2003 I think it would be much easier to tell your mom you found a ring your lady said she really loved than it would be to tell her you sold the ring she gave you at a time when you needed a few bucks. From my point of you, you are screwed! Link to post Share on other sites
cindy0039 Posted October 24, 2003 Share Posted October 24, 2003 Originally posted by glasshammer Is that, I'm pretty sure that it is the ring that she bought herself because like I said, Her husband she was marrying at the time, Didn't have any money to get it for her. So she bought it for herself...And it wasn't a great marriage, bad news, I saw a lot of bad stuff between them. But, she lied i think, and said it's not that ring, But i remember what it looked like, so i'm pretty sure it is. So i'm just going to carry it around for the rest of my life and probably wont ever give it to anybody. I mean i don't know, I'm not trying to be MEAN to my mother, I appreciate that she gave it to me, But i know she's going to be a bit suprised when I don't give it to my loved one someday. I'm sure she'll notice and Inquire about the ring someday. That's what i mean about, I feel like she put me in an awkward position. What difference does it make how she got the ring? I mean, I think if she bought it for herself it would have just as much or more sentimental value. And how can you predict whether you will ever give it to someone? Why don't you let your future wife decide if she wants it, even if it's not her "official" engagement ring? Even if she's not crazy about the ring, she can wear it on her other hand just when your mom is around. I would still think it would be nice to keep it in the family. Link to post Share on other sites
Author glasshammer Posted November 3, 2003 Author Share Posted November 3, 2003 Rod, Thanks for all of your answers to all the good problems on this website. My only concern is that they are listening and watching. I had problems witht hem last week but not no more. Martians aren't the same as aliens. They eat their pancakes with a spoon rather than a fork and knife, or fork and a spatula like where you come from. Oh boy, Oh Boy, But you know what, At least I still have enough shampoo to last me til this weekend, after that, I don't know. Oh, shoot i better go now, The phone is ringing and it's ringing to the tune of "Were Not Gonna Take It" by Twisted Sister...SO that means it's probably my friend Wally calling to give me another one of his Boss Hogg impressions. Take Care Roddy, Love Cleetus. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted November 3, 2003 Share Posted November 3, 2003 Actually, they eat their pancakes with a measuring table spoon - not regular flatware. If you saw martians eating pancakes with a regular spoon and not a measuring spoon then they are not true martians - they migrated about 200 years ago and have tried to fit in. Almost indistinguishable from martians except for the spoon and their hair follicles - but that is not noticible without real close inspection by someone who knows what to look for. (makes me wonder about your shampoo statement!) There is a lot of underground hostility going on there now because some factions was separatism of the races and others want blending and acceptance. It depends on whose gene pool wins the battle in December. Link to post Share on other sites
Author glasshammer Posted November 3, 2003 Author Share Posted November 3, 2003 You Rule!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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