Thrown off!!!

[LoveLace]

Confused!!!

Ok so, he broke up with someone, drove kind of a haul to hang out with me one night...then takes me to a baseball game but tells me he's working on his "replacement" that he said he's "hung out with a few times and is cool"...so I figured there's no intentions with me on his part, and here he is again, texting today to ask if I want to hang out again tomorrow night, and again at the place that requires him to drive all the way from his town...this has gone from hanging out once a month or so...to now make this the 3rd time in a week, 5th time or so this month...the guy that says he's too busy for most people, unless they are really important to him...so to hear from him just every so often has been normal and expected...he travels for his job + works a 2nd job, has a billion trillion friends, so I've always thought he's a pretty good friend for someone with so much in his life...

 

But this, is unexpected....he took me to the ball game because he and his GF broke up...found out she was the original date there...but he knows I love baseball games and such, and I've been all ears about his chick problems, so I chalked it up to that....I am just surprised that he's suggesting more time together so soon...also knowing that, at one time, I did have a crush on him.

 

I posted here last time cuz I was feeling a bit thrown off, but then got my head back on straight...now i"m thrown off, again.

[Kamille]

Confused!!!

Ok so, he broke up with someone, drove kind of a haul to hang out with me one night...then takes me to a baseball game but tells me he's working on his "replacement" that he said he's "hung out with a few times and is cool"...so I figured there's no intentions with me on his part, and here he is again, texting today to ask if I want to hang out again tomorrow night, and again at the place that requires him to drive all the way from his town...this has gone from hanging out once a month or so...to now make this the 3rd time in a week, 5th time or so this month...the guy that says he's too busy for most people, unless they are really important to him...so to hear from him just every so often has been normal and expected...he travels for his job + works a 2nd job, has a billion trillion friends, so I've always thought he's a pretty good friend for someone with so much in his life...

 

But this, is unexpected....he took me to the ball game because he and his GF broke up...found out she was the original date there...but he knows I love baseball games and such, and I've been all ears about his chick problems, so I chalked it up to that....I am just surprised that he's suggesting more time together so soon...also knowing that, at one time, I did have a crush on him.

 

I posted here last time cuz I was feeling a bit thrown off, but then got my head back on straight...now i"m thrown off, again.

 

This is the musician right? Was he dating that girl way back when you two started hanging out?

 

And, what about you? How do you feel about this guy?

[carhill]

OP, think about a guy who was interested in you and whom you friendzoned and who pops in and out of your life. He's emotional tampon #278. "Hey, nice to have ya around. I need to vent today. Good thing you're here. Well, gotta get back to my bazillion friends and busy life. See ya!"

 

Does that sound familiar?

[Trialbyfire]

Yup, I agree. This smells like an ET situation. Try to unconfuse yourself lovelace. You're still in crush mode and it's going to come back to bite you.

[LoveLace]

This is the musician right? Was he dating that girl way back when you two started hanging out?

 

And, what about you? How do you feel about this guy?

 

 

This last gal, he only dated a couple months, but sheesh he was craazy about her....I've known him for probably close to 10 years now actually, just not this great of friends until now, but he's always had a girlfriend...and always a serious GF...serious according to him ,anyhow...it seems he falls hard and gets hurt easily...or just plain keeps landing himself in all the wrong kind of relationships. To answer your question, I think he's a wonderful guy, but I'm intimidated by the idea of trying more, simply because, sexually and physically I'd feel insecure with him...I'm pretty plain jane and girl-next door, compared to the chicks he usually falls for...intellectually we fit like a glove, but beyond that I'm not sure we'd be each other's type...

 

Carhill that makes sense, however he's been available for me a gazillion times, if I had something to celebrate or something to be upset about...recently was truly the 1st time he's thoroughly discussed a break-up with me, and he doesn't exactly seem to need advice, he seems to have pretty good insight and seems to know when someone isn't good enough for him or whatever...in other words, not just a "venting" thing although that is a benefit in my eyes because he's a great listener. Sometimes we hang just for the h*ll of it, like tomorrow night. Not only this, but he pays for me about 95% of the time...we've agreed before that we are pretty good about making equal effort into the friendship...he's always saying how that's important to him...so I'm figuring he's seen a lot of my effort going to watch him play and such, being his friend, and he's just trying to return that effort, though it isn't like he hasn't already....

 

After I said see you tomorrow night, he kept texting earlier and even threw kind of a sexual joke in there...usually when we make plans, it's "ok see you then" and that's it...but he kept going and going today...we were just joking back and forth...anyway, I invited my gal friend that he also knows to go along tomorrow, we all have a blast together anyway.

 

I think he's just gotten to be appreciative of me as a friend and perhaps he's feeling a little needy for that right now since he's in between girlfriends, lol. Obviously he doesn't feel that calling or hanging out with me this much is potentially dangerous, or he wouldn't do it..I sure do appreciate his friendship as well so I just have to keep reminding myself of that. Gosh he's been there for me more than some of my friends that live right down the street have, and he's rarely right down the street! I'm probably just not used to having a real, genuine person for a friend that truly cares and makes time for me!

[carhill]

I'm probably just not used to having a real, genuine person for a friend that truly cares and makes time for me!

 

Here's where you have to be careful. If you're infatuated (I'm assuming here), it skews your perception of the dynamic and of his actions and words. Generally, you'll assign more significance to subtleties than either is really there or than he really means.

 

I've been ET #278 enough to know the signs.

 

A man will not spend a lot of time with you and share a lot of his life with you and not try to bang you unless you are a platonic friend. He just won't. I'm more girly than most guys and I'm telling you I wouldn't. If you and I were both available and I was attracted, you'd get the message loud and clear and toot sweet. There would be no ambiguity. Am I clear, soldier?

 

If you want a great male friend, sounds like you have one. If you want to suck him like a Hoover and ride him like a stallion and make cute babies together, I'm pretty pessimistic. Sorry.

[BlueEyedGirl]

I do not like this situation at all. It feels like you are going to get hurt and soon. He is feeling low and being with you is comfortable, like spending some time with say his puppy. Does he like his puppy? Sure. Would he bang his puppy? Well, you get the picture.

[LoveLace]

If you want to suck him like a Hoover and ride him like a stallion and make cute babies together, I'm pretty pessimistic. Sorry.

 

lol, reading that makes me laugh...I can't say I feel like that about him...he's good looking and all, in fact he has the total package, but if it comes down to a thought like that, I can't picture it...never got this far with him in my mind...not that it grosses me out to think of it or anything, it just doesn't...fit...I'm pretty comfortable with our friendship, I just questioned his recent desire to hang out with and call me so much more than usual...haven't thought maybe he wants to "bang me", it would take more, obviously, to make me think that...it's the major increase in time and calling that made me pause..but we are just closer friends now, that's all there is to it.

 

BEG I don't feel I'm in any position to be hurt, unless he were to do me and leave me or something, which I know he wouldn't do, he doesn't get sexually involved with any woman unless he has real feelings for her - I know him well enough to know that's a fact...and I know that physically, I am not his type...I'm pretty sure of it, anyway. I'd be quite surprised to learn differently. He only dates perfect 10's. That's why we don't "fit" like that in my head. Long as he keeps being as good a friend to me as he has been, there isn't room for disappointment.

 

I also know him well enough that if I was on his mind that way, he would tell me, or show me. So unless that happens, no more reasons to wonder what's up with all this lately. I did just find it odd that 2 days after seeing me, he wants to drive all the way here and meet me, just to go to the same place and do the exact same thing we did a week ago today...all we do is bull sh*t and laugh, he could do that a lot closer to home, but whatever I guess he just has a great time with me like that, which is fine because I'd be doing nothing tonight if he didn't want to hang out (because I have no money! lol). Plus, I'm bringing my girl friend with me so it isn't like it will be just the 2 of us. It will be fun.