Emmortal Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 I think it's one thing to get to a point that you're perfectly alright with yourself and being alone with yourself to add that (booty call) into the mix. I think it's another thing entirely when the person is just a stand-in for the one you really want. One satisfies a need (well hopefully it does, lol) where the other will just create more of a void and a longing for the real object of your desires. Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 Absolutely the fastest and healthiest way to get over an ex and move on! No sense in brooding and mulling over something that is dead and gone. The times I did it, it was empowering. The times I didn't, I wish I had. Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 Just to clarify. I don't mean bedding down every moving target in sight but having sex with someone you are attracted to can be a liberating experience. It carries its own symbolic meaning. Link to post Share on other sites
Intricategirl Posted May 24, 2009 Share Posted May 24, 2009 Marlena, it would seem to contradict what I wrote earlier, but I think I get what you're saying. I mean, if a guy does interest me and his personality turns me on outside the bedroom, then I'm supposed to turn it down just because I split up with my husband?? Nah. While I'm not quite to the point where I can wish him all the happiness in the world, I don't lust after my ex, so there's no wishing it was him instead of someone else. If I want to be with a guy (and I mean actually, really, truly want to be with HIM) then I will. What I meant earlier is that I'm not the sort that's into booty calls and NSA sex, and that's what a lot of my friends are encouraging. Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted May 24, 2009 Share Posted May 24, 2009 If I want to be with a guy (and I mean actually, really, truly want to be with HIM) then I will. I did it a year after my husband and I separated. I saw him, he saw me, we were both sitting at different tables, our eyes locked and when I left with my girlfriend, he followed us. We all had drinks and the next day he called me. I had sex with him that very same night. I can honestly say that was the day I began to heal. That was the day I knew I could feel and love again even if it weren't with him ...after fifteen long years. It was almost as if a spell had been broken. I finally proved to myself that I was capable of living once again. The same occurred many years later when once again I was in despair over another man I was madly in love with. When it ended, I found solace, as temporary as it was, in the arms of another man after two life-shattering, traumatic experiences. ..the loss of my parents and the loss of a man I worshipped for five years. Although nothing long-term came out of both experiences, to this day I am grateful to these two men who came into my life and helped me back on my feet. Link to post Share on other sites
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