its only me Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 my husband of many years had confessed to an affair 2 years ago. we have done lots to get over it and though lots tears and talks i thought we had gotten better. He just confessed he still has thoughts of sex with someone else... not anyone in particular just to see what it would be like. He said this is normal fantasy for guys and he don't want to do it. Just curious. IS THIS NORMAL??? Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Sexual fantasies are "normal" for a lot of people, yes. And many couples enjoy sharing their sexual fantasies with each other as part of a mutually fulfilling and rewarding sex life. It sounds as if you may not be comfortable with him sharing about his, so you can ask him to stop talking about it. He likely will continue to have them, though, and, in and of themselves they do not pose a threat. It is only if he will act out on them, or if you will allow them to disrupt your inner peace that they will become a problem in your physical/emotional reality. Alternatively, it can be an opportunity for you to further explore your own sexuality in partnership with him. There are some good books, and sexuality.org is one site to visit. If there is still a bigger issue of distrust, marriagebuilders.com has a good section on overcoming infidelity, and individual counseling is another route. Best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 I would say it is certainly normal for him to think about having sex with other women. I would say it is abnormal for him to admit this to you. Most men would lie through their teeth if you asked them if they ever thought about sex with another woman. Most people (men and women) do indeed think about having sex with other people besides their partner/spouse. Don't be shocked if he confesses thinking about having sex with 2 woman at once either. I think that is the top fantasy/thought of most men. Link to post Share on other sites
Author its only me Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 The affair he had a couple years ago was not a "typical affair" in the sense of sex. They talked and text each other a lot. flirting. It lead to kissing and touching and freaked him out. He told me and stopped all communication with her since. story is a lot longer and was posted here when it happened. He said its just a fantasy he has no desire to act on it.... but I keep thinking he had no desire before, but..... Link to post Share on other sites
Kaii Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 my husband of many years had confessed to an affair 2 years ago. He just confessed he still has thoughts of sex with someone else... not anyone in particular just to see what it would be like. To "see what it would be like"????? He already knows "what it would be like" to have sex with someone else....because he's ALREADY had an affair. Link to post Share on other sites
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