Kaii Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 I have 2 big concerns which are eating at me. I just can't seem to let go of them and I need advice on what to do about it. I hate my bf's ex wife and his kids get on my nerves. When my bf was married his ex wife was the boss. She called the shots about how to spend the money (even though she didn't even work at that time), she stayed up late at night looking for her ex bf online (who she is currently dating), she bought their spoiled rotten children everything under the sun and racked up incredible debt (which my BF is now paying off and is responsible for). She was a lazy bitch who layed around all day, stuffing her face, and was almost 300 lbs at the end of their marriage. And he put up with it, he put up with all of it and she kicked HIM out of the house. He put up with her drama queen "suicide attempts" where she would kiss their infant daughter on the head and then lock herself in the bathroom with a knife. Good Lord. BUT now that my bf and I are together, HE is the boss. I feel that he doesn't respect me like he respected his ex wife because he makes sure he pays his child support on time but is chronically late paying OUR bills, which we split in half (ie mortgage, power, groceries, etc). His ex wife is living high on the hog, and he makes sure that he is NEVER late paying her. He actually paid ALL her bills up until last winter. He has been separated for 2 years and has made basically no move towards filing for divorce, even though he has asked me to marry him. Financially, I cover the bills upfront and then spend the rest of the month chasing him for his half. And it's not like he doesn't have the money because he is constantly buying guitars and guitar equipment online. His last guitar was over $1200. Their children wear the best of everything and are spoiled rotten and whiny. It pisses me off because I work like a dog to provide for my kids and to have enough money for my half of the bills and consequently I find that (and here is my biggest problem) I do not really like his kids very much. I felt that I liked them a lot better when we first started going out but my bf is not terribly nice to my kids and I guess I feel that it is unfair when I am so nice to his. I feel that I now treat his kids the way he treats mine and I feel terrible about it because I wish we were both nicer to each other's kids. Over the course of the past year I have come to find his kids incredibly whiny and spoiled. They are both overweight and eat all the time. They drive me crazy. They are "tattlers" who constantly tell on my kids all the time. "so and so said "stupid", so and so won't play with me" etc. One of these overweight kids headbutted my daughter who is half her size in the face and made her nose bleed (it was an accident but his kids are so overweight and clumsy). I feel so stressed when they are at our house. All their crying and whinning just drives me up the wall. They are always dressed like little fashion models while my kids look like little bums in comparison to them. I wish I liked them more but I feel that if my bf and I ever have a child that OUR child will take a backseat to these two spoiled little princesses. There is more, a whole years worth, but I thought maybe you guys could offer me some advice? Thanks
JeezLouise Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 Kaii, all I can suggest to you is to please remain on BC, and to move out of the house after you consult a lawyer for the best way to get your money out of the house that you and he bought. This relationship has so many red flags that it would put a Spanish bull into an early grave with heart failure.
subdued Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 You should get out of the relationship. These two spoiled little princesses don't deserve you as their step mother. Let their dad find someone else.
Eve Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 Too many things are wrong. I would have called it a day from the moment my children were not treated right. Forget everything else. Time to call it a day methinks. The ex wife is very much still in control. TBH, I wouldnt even bother to think about her anymore, she has already won. Leave them all to their unhealthy little world before you too become infected. Time for you and yours. Take care, Eve xx
subdued Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 I actually was being sarcastic when I wrote "These two spoiled little princesses don't deserve you as their step mother." I didn't see an evidence of your being a loving step parent. If I was a kid, and my dad had a girlfriend, I wouldn't want him to be with her if she didn't like me. BTW, I was a brat and a tattle tail when I was a kid. And my granddaughter--she's a Dennis the Menace. But I like myself, and I like my granddaughter too. Somehow we are able to put up with the negatives when they are in ourselves or in our own children and grandchildren, but when those negatives are in other peoples' kids, somehow they are rotten children.
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