My husband is missing, perhaps dead..

[bean1]

And that would take a warrant.

.

 

Yeah, in the States, probably. I'm actually Canadian, not American, but I'm close to the border and deal with Washington state missings often, and we deal with the same cell phone crap. It basically comes down to the cell phone companies refusing triangulation for the police due to a perceived rise of police harassment/civil liberties(!!?) that could happen. So, we aren't allowed to triangulate the cell phones of missing people because the public thinks we are going to triangulate the population (like I don't have enough paperwork to do). It is unfortunate in situations like this.

[shadowplay]

Sorry if I missed it, did you file a police report?

 

Just to answer some q's here: NO the police cannot triangulate cell phone patterns, it is only the cell phone company that will do that, and they only do that in extreme cases (ie. Amber Alert or confirmed hiker overdue for several days) - the cell phone companies generally outright refuse to do this.

 

In an average size town, people make around 5-10 missing persons reports per day (very rarely substantiated) so I will at least give you my professional experience that it is very very rare that anything bad happens to these people. This is also the reason that the television/reporters/search parties aren't as interested in this situation (again, sorry and I know this is hard for you, but I just want to give you some insight as to why those things are happening)

 

Does your husband have depression or any other signs of mental illness? This is almost always the reason for these disappearances. Have you contacted ALL his friends and ALL businesses/locations that he frequents?

 

Again, I'm not clear if you have filed a missing persons report or not. You need to have the vehicle added to NCIC as a "pointer vehicle" for a missing person (if you have filed a police report, this should already have been done)

 

Why do these people usually go missing? You sort of hinted at it with the mental illness thing, but I'm still a bit confused.

[bean1]

Why do these people usually go missing? You sort of hinted at it with the mental illness thing, but I'm still a bit confused.

 

It depends on the illness. If it is dementia, then they just wander off and get confused. For younger people (anyone not elderly), it is also common to wander off (usually due to not taking medication,etc). Often, they just want to get away from their lives because they aren't able to cope due to whatever disorder or reasons, so they drive to another province/state/town, etc and just spend time there. That is why it is important to check bank accounts and credit card usage. It is really rare for something bad to actually happen to someone (and that person is usually involved in criminal activity so it isn't quite as a "suprise" as this one is). It isn't likely applicable here, but a lot of "missing" wives are actually escaping from domestic violence (they literally drop off the face of the earth). There's sooooo many reasons, I've actually only seen a few deaths result from missing persons and they are almost all medical (and they were found deceased at their own home but they lived alone so only family phoned in)

[shadowplay]

It depends on the illness. If it is dementia, then they just wander off and get confused. For younger people (anyone not elderly), it is also common to wander off (usually due to not taking medication,etc). Often, they just want to get away from their lives because they aren't able to cope due to whatever disorder or reasons, so they drive to another province/state/town, etc and just spend time there. That is why it is important to check bank accounts and credit card usage. It is really rare for something bad to actually happen to someone (and that person is usually involved in criminal activity so it isn't quite as a "suprise" as this one is). It isn't likely applicable here, but a lot of "missing" wives are actually escaping from domestic violence (they literally drop off the face of the earth). There's sooooo many reasons, I've actually only seen a few deaths result from missing persons and they are almost all medical (and they were found deceased at their own home but they lived alone so only family phoned in)

 

Mel also mentioned that his cell location was 300 miles away when she last checked, so that might be a good sign.

[bean1]

Yes, that is a good sign. I can't imagine what Mel is going through, I guess my only point here is that there are so many reasons that people do this (go missing) and it is extremely rare that something terrible has actually happened. Some people just have difficulties (be it mental illness, coping strategies) and this is not an rare thing to occur. People often associate "missing person" with dire results but the reality of it is the opposite, which is why I am confident that her husband will be located safe. Sometimes it happens sooner than other times.

[lostsoulmate]

I am sending peace, hope and brightness to you and your family....

 

 

any updates?

[redfathom]

Oh, I hope he is okay. Knowing a call was made is hopefully a good sign. I will be thinking of you and your husband and watching for updates.

[melodymatters]

My mind is all over the place, it's like being in a dream. I sleep and he is there and then I wake up, and it's like being kicked in the stomach.

 

I will try and answer as many questions as I recall:

 

Yes, I checked the jails, the hopsitals the detox centers, the police have sent out a bolo alert. Thank you star gazer for reminding, even good people can end up in jail sometimes.

 

I just talked with the main detective, they have checked the phone ( again correct, I needed to authorize it, it was a big stupid deal) and the police seem to be confused. They say it wasn't turned on since 4am that morning, but yet it pinged out of Tampa/clearwater, so I'm not sure who/what is correct.

 

I had to ask what happens to people when they drowned, the detective didn't want to get into it, but I told him I* needed to know. I guess they sink for awhile, then perhaps weeks later they surface. Culverts and streams are at capacity, 5 inches is now 5 feet.

 

The detective stayed on the phone for a half an hour, he said he spent a lot of time there searching the scene, and the video cams at the club showed him walking away. Nobody thinks he went on a crack binge or wandered off, but ironically, everyone is hoping thats the case.

 

To whoever mentioned mental issues, thank you as well, he was not depressed, or in any way upset, he was VERY happy in our marriage, but he DOES have grand mal seizures, and he shouldn't drink, and most of the time I can kind of police it, but not always, as we all know. So the fact that he was drinking,and seizure prone, and the rains is just such a bad, bad combo.

 

For those who know us ( here ) we were so happy, we had little in common, age difs, educational, but we just made each others sun shine and lives make sense, we took care of eath other. If I never get to see him again, I was proud and happy to be married to Mike. I will always treasure him.

[Trialbyfire]

Don't do that mel. They'll find him safe and sound.

[thelostsoul89]

Omg I dont even know what I would do if I was in your shoes

Im so sorry your going through this I hope he is ok.

[Stockalone]

I'm very sorry to hear about this.

 

A few ideas, although I am sure the police are already on it and do what they can.

 

Is he taking medication for his seizures? If so, could the police check if his prescription has been renewed/refilled.

 

Have you checked your bank accounts to see if money was withdrawn? Ask your bank for help, if they can monitor your accounts for you and inform you if there is activity.

 

Is the police monitoring his credit cards and bank accounts to see if there has been activity?

 

You could distribute posters but ask the detective in charge of your husband's case first, and also ask him for permission to put a hotline number or a police number on them. DO NOT use your private phone number. You don't want to deal with prank calls during a time like this or people trying to take advantage of your situation. Besides, it is essential to have all information arrive at one place. It makes it easier to process information and follow up on leads.

 

Ask the managers or owners of convenient stores, malls, bus stops/stations, train stations, truck stops, businesses, cabstands and other highly frequented areas to post a flyer of your husband. Ask friends and family for help to efficently distribute those flyers, assign areas where each of them distributes them.

 

I would also include the homeless shelters in my search. If he had a seizure or passed out drunk in an alley, he might have spend a night there once he got on his feet again but was still disoriented. Maybe someone picked him up and took him with them to the shelter.

 

Also, consider making a complete list (with contact info, when you called, who you talked to, etc.) of all the organizations and people you have informed and who are looking for him. When you learn about his whereabouts, you will want to call off the search and also thank those who supported you.

 

And maybe look through your husband's address book, diary, briefcase, computer, PDA, etc. for clues if you feel that it is okay to do that.

 

I hope he will turn up soon and that he is okay.

[Lyssa]

Hi Mel, came here straight to check on an update.

 

Still praying hard for him to be back home safely in your arms.

 

[[[[MM]]]]

[Soul-Searcher]

Don't start thinking negative Mel. They will find him.

[Island Girl]

I am so so very sorry you are going through all of this.

 

I have been hanging in one little corner on LS and missed this completely! How AWFUL!!

 

Maybe this will help a bit:

My husband disappeared once for 11 days several years ago. He was on a tiny island where everyone knows who he is and no one could find him or had seen him.

 

He was located alive and well so don't think it can't happen.

 

{{{{{{mel}}}}}}

[whichwayisup]

he was not depressed, or in any way upset

Is it possible he hid this? Being depressed..

 

I can't stop thinking of you today..I was out earlier and first thing I did when I got home was log onto LS to see if there was an update.

 

Hugs..

[Trialbyfire]

Any updates mel? We're here for you.

[allina]

Has the neighbor who was out with him that night been questioned?

Is his father involved in the search?

Are his bank accounts/credit cards being tracked for activity?

[JackJack]

Yeah I was wondering about the neighbor as well. Is the neighbor back home?

[Juniper22]

How awful for you and your family! I hope you hear something soon!

[Mycroft]

Hello Melody, I really feel for you here!! Had a similar situation myself about 10 years ago, the not knowing is so incredibly hard! You know I was basically in a state of shock the whole time and I can't remember what I was thinking, I hope your doing ok!! I have a lot of hope for you. All I can suggest is stay optimistic, find him! You will, I hope everything works out. Be strong! /hugs

[curiousnycgirl]

Logged in expressly to catch up with this thread - was really hoping to read of a positive resolution.

 

Oh Mel - my thoughts and prayers continue to be with you and your family. I have everything crossed for - I'm a freaking pretzel!

[theycallmeprincess]

Sending much positive energy your way...

 

The neighbor your H went with, what does he have to say? Does he have any useful insight to what may happened?

[Lyssa]

Mel, anything new??

 

Sending lots of hugs your way. You're in our thoughts and prayers, dear.

 

[[[[[MM]]]]]

[White Flower]

MM,

 

I saw your post and I want to say that I really feel for you in this situation. I will say my prayers and keep my fingers crossed for you until you update us.

 

Stay strong,

WF.

[underpants]

OMG,

 

Mel, this is the first I have seen of this.

 

OMG.

 

The clearwater ping kind of gives me hope. Will the phone ping if you call the number and they are on hand to track the location?

 

Have they searched the road that this bar was on, or has the weather been too bad?

 

Showing his picture with the date of his disappearence to other convenience stores on that road might be a good idea. He might be on some of those cameras???

 

This is just awful.