PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Trouble!!!!!]

I got a serious problem, well maybe not serious but to me it is very serious. Well me and this girl dated for over 2 years. Well she broke up with me about a month ago saying she just wants to be alone. Me and her has all ways been best friends even when we were not dating. Well Friday night I happen to see her at the movie store. She was with a girl and a guy. Well me seeing this guy automatically assumed that this guy was her boyfriend and I got mad. I didn't say anything to her. She kept looking at me as thought she was expecting me to make the first move in communicating with each other but I was waiting for her to. Well no words was said and I left and went to the store. I left the store and was still really mad, and when i was going around the corner i seen them walking. Well i drove right past them really fast and close and made them jump. Well the next day I knew I was wrong in doing that and I still have alot of feelings for her, so i called her to appologize. She was REALLY mad at me!! She was telling me that the guy was her friends BF. She was giving me hell. Then she says "Oh by the way, I heard from one of my friends that you have a new girlfriend" And I told her that me and this girl was JUST FRIENDS and that we wasn't dating, which is the 100% truth. Well she hung up on me and wouldn't answer the phone when I called back. I drove over to her house and her mom said she doesn't want to talk to me. I started crying on her porch. Please, I love her ALOT and I don't want to lose my best friend in the whole world. I WAS SOOOO WRONG IN DOING WHAT I DID. Her friendship means sooo much to me. Can anyone give me some advise on what i should do? Have i probably lost her friendship forever? Please anyone I love her so much and I want her friendship back. Any advise is GREATLY appriciated.

[Nina]

Give her some time to cool off, maybe a few days, then send her a letter telling her about how you feel and what you want. Send her some flowers. You can either mail it or drop it off in her box. If you don't receive a response, call her and try one lsat time. If she's still angry, then there really isn't anything you can do but wait ofr her to cool off.

[Tony T]

If she is going to revive any friendship feelings she may have had, you've got to stop acting like a lovesick, immature butthole. You do not own this lady nor do you control her life.

 

What you did was the behavior of a four-year-old. When a girl breaks up with you, even if she says it's because she wants to be alone, THE ONLY REASON SHE IS BREAKING UP WITH YOU IS BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T WANT TO BE WITH Y-O-U!!! That's OK, though. If every girl in the world wanted to be yours, you couldn't handle it.

 

But let me tell you now, no decent lady anywhere on the planet wants a guy who would pull the childish, immature, illegal, demeaning, embarassing crap you pulled on this girl. You really know how to win friends and influeNce people, don't you? You say on the one hand you love her and want her friendship...and then you would subject her to this. If somebody did this to me, I would have them IN JAIL

 

There's no way I can tell how this lady is going to feel about you in the future. But, one thing is for sure, if you don't learn how to treat people decently and to be a good sport and handly life maturely, you will have NO FRIENDS AT ALL!!!

 

You have already taken the first step in the healing processs by admitting you were wrong. Don't put any energy into winning back her friendship. The more you try, the more she will be repulsed and pull away. It will just seem very phoney and guilt-driven.

 

For now, don't call this girl, send her messages, write her, send smoke signals, send messages through friends, or have any other contact with her whatsoever. Let time do the healing. Meantime, work on helping yourself get some self-esteem and learn how a gentleman behaves towards the world!!!

[Trouble!!!!]

I know i was immature and childish. I was VERY stupid and I regret every minuit of what i did. I have never did anything like that before. Im so so sad to have lost my best friend and someone that im still in love with. Im so sad to have my best friend mad at me, but i know that i definately deserve it. Im going to pray every day and every night about it and hopefully the lord will answer my prayers and alow her to forgive me and to give me another chance as a friend. If not, than it will be just another one on the list of bad and stupid things for my judgement in the afterlife. I got one last question, I know I have to let her cool off in order to see if she will be my friend again, but should I wait to see if she calls me? OR should i give her a while and try calling her?

 

If she is going to revive any friendship feelings she may have had, you've got to stop acting like a lovesick, immature butthole. You do not own this lady nor do you control her life.

 

What you did was the behavior of a four-year-old. When a girl breaks up with you, even if she says it's because she wants to be alone, THE ONLY REASON SHE IS BREAKING UP WITH YOU IS BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T WANT TO BE WITH Y-O-U!!! That's OK, though. If every girl in the world wanted to be yours, you couldn't handle it. But let me tell you now, no decent lady anywhere on the planet wants a guy who would pull the childish, immature, illegal, demeaning, embarassing crap you pulled on this girl. You really know how to win friends and influeNce people, don't you? You say on the one hand you love her and want her friendship...and then you would subject her to this. If somebody did this to me, I would have them IN JAIL There's no way I can tell how this lady is going to feel about you in the future. But, one thing is for sure, if you don't learn how to treat people decently and to be a good sport and handly life maturely, you will have NO FRIENDS AT ALL!!!

 

You have already taken the first step in the healing processs by admitting you were wrong. Don't put any energy into winning back her friendship. The more you try, the more she will be repulsed and pull away. It will just seem very phoney and guilt-driven. For now, don't call this girl, send her messages, write her, send smoke signals, send messages through friends, or have any other contact with her whatsoever. Let time do the healing. Meantime, work on helping yourself get some self-esteem and learn how a gentleman behaves towards the world!!!

[Tony T]

This girl broke up with you. She KNOWS you are still in love with her. She KNOWS you do not want a friendship with her because you REALLY want to get back with her eventually. She WANTS to move on. She does NOT want a friend around who is lovesick and wants her back while she is persuing other romantic interests in her life.

 

Do what I told you. For now, stay away from her. You are only going to cause yourself heartache and pain when you know she is seeing other people...which you would know if you were friends. YOU HAVE ALREADY PROVED that you cannot handle her seeing other people. You embarassed the hell out of her and she DOES NOT WANT TO PUT HERSELF IN A PLACE OF THAT EVER HAPPENING AGAIN!!!

 

In time you will get over her and probably NOT be interested in a friendship because you will be in a hot romance with someone else. Take my word for all of this. I HAVE BEEN THERE!!!

 

All you are going to do by trying to be in this girl's life right now is to piss her off, make her miserable, make her feel guilty and drive her farther away from you. CAN YOU PLEASE UNDERSTAND THIS!!!!

 

So stay away from her. You are lying to me and the world when you say you want to be her friend. You REALLY want her to be back in love with you. You REALLY want her to make up with you and be your girlfriend again. Don't make this so hard on her. Stay away!!!

 

Now, you'll be better about all of this in time. Trust me. Get on with your life. If you keep obsessing with this, you will destroy yourself and you will not be any closer to what you really want in life...a loving relationship with a lady who will love you in return.

 

Make it a habit in life of being HONEST with yourself!!! "To thine ownself be true."

 

If you REALLY love this girl, give her a break and STAY AWAY FROM HER!!!

[trouble]

You are so right, I don't know how to thank you. You really know your stuff. How did you know all of that just from what i said? because you are 100% correct. I do still love her,but i know she doesn't love me back. I have however been seeing someone else. I like this new girl alot, she does things with me that my ex didn't. We have been going to baseball games, going to church together, drinking together(my ex didn't drink) and having sexual intercourse(my ex was a virgin). Im starting to develop feelings for this new girl, and I was actually getting over my ex until i saw her the other day. I really want to fall deep for this new girl because i know she will love me back. This new girl REALLY likes me and I her. As long as I don't have ANY contact or anything with my ex i think I will heal fast. I know when im 50 YO i'll look back and laugh at myself.

 

This girl broke up with you. She KNOWS you are still in love with her. She KNOWS you do not want a friendship with her because you REALLY want to get back with her eventually. She WANTS to move on. She does NOT want a friend around who is lovesick and wants her back while she is persuing other romantic interests in her life.

 

Do what I told you. For now, stay away from her. You are only going to cause yourself heartache and pain when you know she is seeing other people...which you would know if you were friends. YOU HAVE ALREADY PROVED that you cannot handle her seeing other people. You embarassed the hell out of her and she DOES NOT WANT TO PUT HERSELF IN A PLACE OF THAT EVER HAPPENING AGAIN!!! In time you will get over her and probably NOT be interested in a friendship because you will be in a hot romance with someone else. Take my word for all of this. I HAVE BEEN THERE!!!

 

All you are going to do by trying to be in this girl's life right now is to piss her off, make her miserable, make her feel guilty and drive her farther away from you. CAN YOU PLEASE UNDERSTAND THIS!!!! So stay away from her. You are lying to me and the world when you say you want to be her friend. You REALLY want her to be back in love with you. You REALLY want her to make up with you and be your girlfriend again. Don't make this so hard on her. Stay away!!! Now, you'll be better about all of this in time. Trust me. Get on with your life. If you keep obsessing with this, you will destroy yourself and you will not be any closer to what you really want in life...a loving relationship with a lady who will love you in return. Make it a habit in life of being HONEST with yourself!!! "To thine ownself be true."

 

If you REALLY love this girl, give her a break and STAY AWAY FROM HER!!!

[Somewhat Healed]

Tony may be a little bit rude, but he's damn right. I lived a situation VERY similar to yours and I wish I had somebody like him around me, so listen up! Believe me, after something like 6 months I can think about it and I laught my ass off

 

So, you did a big mistake? didn't you? HELL YES! So instead of saying things like "ohh I want her back!", "I need her friendship so much!!" (Bulls***) you should be saying "WOW! I'm one of the luckiest guy in the world!, i'm going to learn about love and womens BEFORE GETTING MARRIED!".

 

At the time, I almost tryed to kill myself and now see me? I'M ON FIRE! She has pulled you out of her life, it's okay, it happens, so now it is time for you to assume this and move on. You'll say "Yeah, yeah, it's easy to say...", well the good news is that is easy to do too! TIME WILL FIX IT ALL (with a little help, of course). There is no better turn-off for a girl than man who crawls for her AND NO lacking self-confidence, being obsessed and dependant ISN'T CUTE! Girls wants to be loved, NOT JAILED!

 

So what should you do now?

 

Forget her, YOU NEED TO WORK ON YOURSELF BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE! Seeing a *good* therapist may work, but I strongly suggest you to visit every damn personnal growth and love advice sites on the internet ("Yahoo - Relationships" is a good place to start). Talk about it with your friends.

 

The pain is so hard, your world is coming down, you hate yourself for what you did, you don't see how you could live without her but I'll tell you something : "If you couldn't live without her then WHY AREN'T YOU DEATH NOW?!?"

 

You will live, heal and feel happiness. Learn from this experience and you'll be stronger than ever before. I was there too, I know what is this but I swore to god that if you follow Tony's advice in a couple of months you'll be thanking god for what happened everyday of your life.

 

I don't see a problem here but a really good chance to improve yourself and learn from your errors. IT IS THE KEY TO HAPPINESS. There are billions of girls in the world but only a few who will teach you, never forget that.