My girlfriend is going to work at a cafe in the mornings.....Weird feelings....

[Manick]

Hi to all of you. My girlfriend is going to work at a cafe and I feel really weird. Iam glad for her because she found a job but I know that there will be some men that want to tease her or things like that. I dont want to think about this although I know that I must live with it. Maybe I love her too much. She is 18 years old but I care about her. What should I do ? I told her about these thoughts and she agreed to tell me everything that happens in there. Pls I need some advice so as to calm down a little. Thanks in advance.

 

Cheers

Nick

[Ryan]

Do you trust her?

Then that's it.

 

If she is 18...I'm guessing you're about the same age. This might be your first serious relationship....during which it is often common to get jealous over things. This is when you learn the value of trust.

[Manick]

Well yes it is my first "serious" relationship you are right. But I feel really jealous and I cannot stop acting like this. I DO trust her but even if someone hugs her, that's it for me! I dont know if it is right but.....

Gosh, this is weird. I feel like I cannot handle these situations.Some times I think that I should be free...but this is not what I really want...God Am I CRAZY?

[Ryan]

Of course you're crazy....this is your first serious relationship. That's no position of sanity.

What you're feeling is pretty typical. The fact that you're seeing your jealousy is a positive step. It will fade over time. You just have to remember that she's with you. She cares about you. If she wanted to mess around on you...she'd already be doing it.

[Manick]

Well Ryan I want to thank you man. YOu helped me lots of times and Iam really grateful for that. I agree with you but even if I trust her...but there are some thoughts that she may find another one who is better than me...this shows that Iam not self-confident...I know that.....what on earth should I do? I cannot live with these feelings!

[Ryan]

Being at that age....self-confidence isn't going to spring from nowhere. You have to give yourself time. Every relationship you have....you will make mistakes. Once the relationship ends (and they will), you learn from those mistakes and improve on the next one.

 

Guess what...at some point, you aren't going to be right for her. She's not going to be right for you. The relationship will end. Both of you, assuming you progress as people, will move on to BETTER mates. This is the inevitable truth of living and loving. HOWEVER, you can't dwell on that. What you have now is a relationship....be in it.

 

Take your time to fret on your own. Just make sure she knows she is special when she is in your company.

[Manick]

I totally agree but is there a possibility for this NOT to end? I know that I may get bored after some months or years. But now , I want this relationship to last forever! She is all I ever wanted and I know that Iam too. We were both virgins when we met but after making love.....you understand my feelings... When I see that 7 months passed and instead of getting bored we want to see each other more! I know it is very difficult at this age to say that Iam going to stay with her for ever but... there are many examples of relationships that became marriages after many years of being together... She told me that she like this idea too, but we cannot be sure so.....

[girl29]

of course there is a possibility that this will not end. perhaps you will be one of those couples that meets early and spends the rest of their lives together.

 

but my prediction is that, in the coming years, things that are more imperative to think about that the relationship will come along. perhaps work or other non-relationship-oriented opportunities, and those may force you to make decisions that would lead to an end in the relationship. right now, that is really important and it seems to take center stage, but that probably will fade, at least a little.

 

the best thing you can do is, like the other poster said, make the time you spend together really special. if she's starting a job, she'd probably really like to have you ask her how things went rather than if she talked to or hugged any other men. by you not displaying unnecessary jealousy, you're really also showing that you believe in the relationship and that you trust her. this will look good to her, trust me!

[Manick]

Thanks girl! I will do that and Iam sure that things will be better...But sometimes I am really jealous! I love her and I dont want anyone to take her from me! I L O V E H E R ! I know that it is not right but that's me. I cannot change. Although I feel like this, I tell her nothing......but deep inside me.....there is fear....

[sumdude]

Hey it's fairly natural to point. It's good you recognize it in yourself. I think most of us have a green monster inside. Keeping it in it's cage is the thing. It might not hurt to talk about it with her. With an even keel and without any sort of accusation (which you haven't done) maybe kinda let her know how you feel.

[HokeyReligions]

Stop thinking so far ahead! You can't predict or control the future so don't waste good energy on it.