WTRanger Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 That's exactly what I am right now, I'm conflicted. Do I send a good friend of mine a card through the mail or not? It's just a simple card as she's been going through some rough times in her life and it's intended to be something that is strictly platonic but more personal than an email or text, plus it'll give her something in the mail other than bills and junkmail. Where I'm conflicted is how will she see this? For a long time our friendship had bordered on the next level or stay friends and pretty much went unresolved. Right now we're still kind of in no mans land, as neither of us has really picked a side. She's leaning towards just friends but doesn't really want to talk about it either way, so I've backed off the topic and am giving her time to think things over and let some stress ease off hers and my life. Right now, we're just friends and nothing else. We just recently went long distance friends as I had to move away, so I'm pretty much guessing we'll never be anything more than that. I know how I want this card to come off as, at least I think I do. Though there are days where even I'm confused as to what I really want this card to accomplish. Will I be mailing it as a friend but secretly have my fingers crossed behind my back? I don't know. But will she be freaked out by it? Will it make me look like a boner? She has gotten things like this from me before and seemingly loved them, but this one would be out of the blue. So girls and guys, if a friend sent you a card in the mail that basically said, "Hang in there, you'll get through this and I'll be right behind you the whole way" would you think it was a good gesture or would you think it had alternative intentions behind it? Or am I just over thinking this one waaaayyyyy to much. Link to post Share on other sites
thegoodlife Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 I would just take it as a good friend sending positive thoughts my way...regardless of the past relations with that person. I say send the card, it's really thoughtful of you to do and shows you care, whether that be as friends or more Link to post Share on other sites
bubbles5 Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 I would appreciate it if any1 would cheer me up during stress times.As far as your frnd is concerned I would say u should go for it but on safer side do write down that u want to cheer her up and help her , she may freak out if she is having major stress, sometimes ppl act negative way to de-stress themselves , she may get angry but that would be bcos of her frustrations. Link to post Share on other sites
sexychris Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 As i can see, you are very much attached to that girl and you want to become more than just friends! Tell her what's in your heart Link to post Share on other sites
Author WTRanger Posted May 24, 2009 Author Share Posted May 24, 2009 Oh she knows how I feel about her. We've left it at ............. I've recently moved away and I figured it'd just be nice to get that in the mail. I'm still on the fence about it, but I think I'm going to send it after the memorial day weekend. I'll just keep it very platonic and supportive of her. I'll keep my feelings out of it as it's not what it's about. Link to post Share on other sites
MagicRat09 Posted May 24, 2009 Share Posted May 24, 2009 Yeah I would send it....I had something similar in my situation this week and I was able to just about separate my feelings from my friendship and just be supportive. It's hard though I know. Link to post Share on other sites
seibert253 Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 You are never going to get a hit unless you take the bat off your shoulder and SWING. It's better to strike out swinging, then to never try. Peace. Link to post Share on other sites
Author WTRanger Posted May 25, 2009 Author Share Posted May 25, 2009 Speaking of baseball terms. I put our friendship/relationship like this. I just hit an in the park home run. I came sliding into home plate only to be met by the ball thrown in from deep left field. It was close, real close. I'm looking at this girl, who is the home plate umpire, and she's just standing there not saying anything. She's just thinking about it. 3 months later, she still hasn't told me if I'm safe or if I'm out. So, I'm in constant instant-replay mode. By the way, the card is in the mail. If there is no response from this, then I'm headed to the dugout and calling in a relief runner. In fact, I'm going to go play ball in a different park. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Remember your signature (which I disagree with anyway, but that is a moot point)..... How do you want to make her feel? _/l\_ Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 I would send it. Its a nice thing to do. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 He HAS sent it...... Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Oh. Oops! Then it WAS a nice thing to do regardless of the outcome. Link to post Share on other sites
Author WTRanger Posted May 26, 2009 Author Share Posted May 26, 2009 Remember your signature (which I disagree with anyway, but that is a moot point)..... How do you want to make her feel? _/l\_ You know, I never thought much about my sig but now that you mention it. It really doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Because saying and doing pretty much directly affect how you feel. I've never known someone to say, "You know you insulted me, you punched me but you made me feel like the most special person on the earth." I found the quote on some random quote site. To answer the big question, I want to make her feel happy, I want her to feel like she knows that someone out there cares about her. I want her to feel that no matter what is going on in her life, regardless of the physical distance between us, that I'm around to help her if she needs it. I just want to put a smile on her face. Since it is in the snail mail, I probably won't be able to give an updated until later this week at the earliest. They don't call it snail mail for nothing!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author WTRanger Posted June 2, 2009 Author Share Posted June 2, 2009 It's been a week since I've mailed it and I've gotten no word if she received it or not. I know the basic mail system in the US sucks, but I'm pretty sure she's gotten it by now. I don't know why, but it kind of bums me out that I at least didn't get a "Thanks." Is that too much to expect? I know deep down that I probably wasn't going to get a response. Which doesn't necessarily mean she didn't like the gesture, but when it actually happens it's kind of a downer. Maybe that's just me being selfish and expecting a response and building things up in my head instead of what is going on in reality. Maybe this is what the Glover guy was talking about in his book "No More Mr. Nice Guy" though if you go by that then you'll never do anything nice for anyone ever again. I don't know, but I'm kind of confused. I'm glad I sent it though and if it put a smile on her face then it was mission accomplished. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 I'm glad I sent it though and if it put a smile on her face then it was mission accomplished. That's your thanks. TBH, do not, ever again, agonize about sending someone you care about a card of love/sympathy/support, for whatever reason. It's not about them. It's about how you feel. They're responsible for their own feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
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