lovingguy21 Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 I met this guy 6 months ago and every since we met it's just been great. We have spoken every single day since we've met. We only get together on weekends because we both are free those days, but we hung out every single weekend since we've met. I am 21 and he is 42 years old, but we get along really well, but i think i am gonna **** up this relationship due to my insecurities. The ****ed up thing is that i have no real reason of being insecure. I just get these uncontrollable Imaginations and it just runs wild sometimes. He seems to be really interested in me, he has not really given me any reason to think he is doing something behind my back. I seem to make up these stupid illusions for whatever reason and i think it's just gonna ruin things in the long run. If i go one day without speaking to him that's mostly when the feelings and the illusions start kicking in. We have had talks about my insecurity and he tells me i have nothing to worry about, and that makes me feel good at the moment, but when we are apart it's hard to have that same feel good feeling. I seem to be obsessed with his every move and thought and i know this is gonna be a killer in the long run. That's a brief summary of my problem but do anyone have any advice? what should i do? Link to post Share on other sites
motive2002 Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 Just relax. Take his kind reassurance for what it is and don't worry so much. I know it's easier said than done, but worrying about something that could happen is a waste of time. Worry about it only if it does happen. There are people that cheat and people that don't. You never know who is who until it's too late, and if you spend all your time worrying about it, there is no way to enjoy being in the moment. Let me reassure you now that not everyone is a cheater, or goes behind your back. Everyone has their own moral compass that guides them. Some of us happen to believe that cheating is an awful thing to do and would never do it. Just because you have impulses doesn't mean you have to act upon them. If he truly has your heart in mind, and has reassured you.. then you have nothing to worry about. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovingguy21 Posted May 23, 2009 Author Share Posted May 23, 2009 Yea thanks for the advice... But see I'm completely aware that it's me and i know pretty soon he is gonna get tired of the reassuring and my insecurities. So i shall just fix the problem now before it's to late. I waste my time arguing and then at the end of the day, when we are together, I think to myself all that stressing for no reason. I need to stop worrying about if he we will be in the future and like you said, "enjoy the moment". I shall learn to start living in reality and not the way i would like things to be. I also get upset when he wanna do other things besides hang out with me on the weekend. I need to remember that he does have to have a life outside of me, vice versa. I think i need to stop focusing on our love to much because sometimes it feels like i love him more than he loves me, which is probably not even the case. I don't wanna end up being one of them "I can't live without him" people, if we don't end up together. Another problem is that i am very impatient, so im sure that plays a part. Link to post Share on other sites
motive2002 Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 I think to myself all that stressing for no reason That is the lesson to learn from. Yes, and patience is the key. I think you nailed it. It's my own weakness when it comes to insecurity. Not only do I want all the answers to my nagging questions or concerns.. but I want them NOW! A lot of us are wired that way... after all this is considered a "instant gratification" society... You're just gonna have to take a deep breath.. I mean literally.. and see how everything unfolds. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovingguy21 Posted May 23, 2009 Author Share Posted May 23, 2009 That is the lesson to learn from. Yes, and patience is the key. I think you nailed it. It's my own weakness when it comes to insecurity. Not only do I want all the answers to my nagging questions or concerns.. but I want them NOW! A lot of us are wired that way... after all this is considered a "instant gratification" society... You're just gonna have to take a deep breath.. I mean literally.. and see how everything unfolds. Yea like i said I'm very aware of my problems, It's just now i have to work on my insecurities, anxiety, and patience. Link to post Share on other sites
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