andreautick Posted October 25, 2003 Share Posted October 25, 2003 Hello all, I'm not married and I'm only a 20 year-old junior in college who is not dating anyone super seriously right now...so I'm not looking at getting married anytime soon. Here's the issue... Despite the fact that my Dad has been physically abusive on 4 accounts, and they have huge, blowout fights almost every week...and I've watched this all my life....I still have always dreamed of getting married. I started dating this guy, we'll call him Anthony. Anthony never wants to get married (at least he doesn't think he wants to-admit it could change) because his parents had a horrible marriage (abuse..blah blah blah. Almost the same situation, only his involved his parents drinking, and neither of my parents drink). Then, started thinking about my parents marriage, and I looked at this forum and there are only big complaints about married life or marriage itself here. My question is, are there really any benefits to marriage at all? I mean, you all just seem so unhappy! Let me know, I guess I still think I want to get married someday, but I have to ask this of you all. Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted October 25, 2003 Share Posted October 25, 2003 That's painting a broad picture saying that married people are unhappy. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. To be honest, I don't feel the need to get married other than to make my partner happy, I mean if you're in a relationship and everything's perfect, what's marriage needed for other than peace of mind, perhaps? It works for some people, and not for others. It's all in you, up to you. You shouldn't have to do anything you don't want to. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted October 25, 2003 Share Posted October 25, 2003 People are unlikely to come to a relationship problem site to say their marriages are ideal and delightful, now are they? You want to be careful to choose your potential partner carefully and to be a good partner to that person. This involves reading and learning about relationships and how to conduct them successfully and working hard. Try to learn from the lessons of others here. There are lots of them! Link to post Share on other sites
wiseOLDman Posted November 6, 2003 Share Posted November 6, 2003 andreautick, a marriage is what two people make of it. I've been married for 18 years and have never had a second thought about my marriage. Have we faced difficult times, absolutely. But we've always managed to overcome the problems. They're the typical ones that I think most couples face: in-laws, dual workloads, financial security, silly disagreements, etc. No infidelity, abuse or other more serious problems tho. The key is to communicate. One needn't have a conversation about every little thing that happens in the day, but the important things must be discussed and handled. It's not always easy by any stretch. But it one works at it, it can be truly blissful. A good marriage doesn't just happen, just a good grades don't happen. You have to work at it, recognize when you're having difficulties and try new strategies to tackle the more difficult problems. All the best Link to post Share on other sites
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