Flamenco81 Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 Hello. OK, well just to recap I had recently gone out with this girl, who after a daytime movie date (it was the second time we went out), she basically told me she had some errands to do and took off. I called 2 days later to see about going out again and she just ignored me. I wrote again about 5 days later and just told her I enjoyed her company and wanted to go out again this weekend and I'd like to know what she thought. So she answered quickly and basically gave the whole "I had fun meeting you, you're a great guy, blah blah, blah...I didn't really feel a connection. Good luck with everything". So I have thought what could have happened. I admit I am not very extrovert or cracking jokes every minute, but I am good with conversation, smile, polite, I think I talk about interesting stuff, etc. At the movie I didn't try and make any physical contact because we were both leaning back on the chairs and with the drink holder divider thing in the middle it was very awkward to try and put my arm around her or something. I thought of it, but didn't do it for fear of looking stupid trying and having to pull back. So I don;t know if that went against me in that she didn't feel a physical connection or something and felt I was cold and distant, which I am definitely not. I'm very affectionate, but I guess you have to be careful how much you show it. Next week I'm going out on a second date with a girl that seems interested. After our first date (coffee at the park) she was the first to make contact 2 days later and told me she had fun and looked forward to hanging out again. So we will probably go out Wednesday and she said we could go watch a movie since we live near each other with a movie place close by. So now the question. What should I do at the movie to make my interest be felt and not seem too aggressive. What physical contact would be appropriate? How do girls want a guy they are interested in to act with them at the movie theater. I am not saying I expect to start making out right there, but I want to have some form of contact that'll be reassuring and safe. Thanks for any opinions. Link to post Share on other sites
cbreitel Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 I don't like movie dates specifically for this reason. You can't talk or get comfortable with one another. It's a bit harder than in other situations to "bust a move" physically. What exactly is the point? I never understood that. I'll go on movie dates with a girlfriend any time. Just not until she's actually my girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Shygirl15 Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 Movie date, dinner date, coffee date, gym date (yeah, had an online guy propose that to me for a 1st date ), doesn't matter. If a girl is into you, it doesn't matter what kind of a date you guys are on. Just be respectful but make your interest very clear. 2nd date, right? Touch her hand every now and then, lots of eye contact, and maybe hold her hand on your way out. Give her a longer-than-usual hug when saying goodbye. Goodluck! Link to post Share on other sites
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 I've had guys hold my hand while at the movie. Either his arm over the armrest and on my lap, or with both our hands resting on the armrest. Shygirl gave some good suggestions. Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 Popcorn trick always works pretty well for me. Just don't try it with nacho's kk? Link to post Share on other sites
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 Just don't try it with nacho's kk? Haha...why not? Then you could sensually lick it off her fingers. Now THERE'S a move that says, "I'm so into you, baby." Link to post Share on other sites
ruggy Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 Never knew you were supposed to do anything at the movies aside from watching the movie. Link to post Share on other sites
cbreitel Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 None of the replies are very persuasive, in my opinion. I'm still not seeing the benefit of having a 1st or 2nd date at a movie. You can hold hands almost anywhere. Why do it somewhere where you can't say a word to each other? If a guy tried to make "eye contact" with a girl during a flick, I think she'd think that's kind of creepy. Just picturing it makes me laugh. Link to post Share on other sites
lora22 Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 Asking her to get a drink or coffee after the movie would let her know you enjoy her company/are interested...There's probably not much you can do at the actual movie to let her know that, other than holding her hand. Link to post Share on other sites
prettybaby Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 Why are some of you guys so negative towards movies? lol Do you make it a habit of only entering the theater after the movie's already started or what? I think movie dates are great! You generally have about 20min before the movie starts where you can sit right next to each other, talk, make eye contact, touch each other's arm and basically get comfortable. I don't think you're "supposed" to do anything. Don't make a move unless it feels right. Just enjoy each other's company and then enjoy the movie. Also, no need to get up and leave right when the credits start. Stay put, wait for everybody to leave, chillax in the mean time, make some more conversation / touching if it feels right, discuss what you wanna do next (get a drink perhaps? Decide where), then get up and take your sweet time leaving. Don't go for the cliche moves, like stretching & putting your arm around her like a douche bag. I'd always sworn I'd ditch the guy who'd ever do this me Luckily, it never happened. That being said, I don't think the previous girl blew you off because you didn't make the right moves during the movie. She obviously just wasn't interested. No big deal. Link to post Share on other sites
cbreitel Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 Good points by prettybaby. *Note to self about the stretch-and-put move* Link to post Share on other sites
Bells Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 None of the replies are very persuasive, in my opinion. I'm still not seeing the benefit of having a 1st or 2nd date at a movie. You can hold hands almost anywhere. Why do it somewhere where you can't say a word to each other? If a guy tried to make "eye contact" with a girl during a flick, I think she'd think that's kind of creepy. Just picturing it makes me laugh. Holding hands on a first date? Not sure women are receptive to that. That's a good way to loose out on a 2nd date. Link to post Share on other sites
cbreitel Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 Holding hands on a first date? Not sure women are receptive to that. That's a good way to loose out on a 2nd date. Agree with that too. For me personally holding hands is a 3rd or 4th date sort of thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Lindarose84 Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 Unless you're in those seats specially made for couples (with no dividers/arm rests), I would NOT recommend doing the arm over the shoulder, or trying to hold hands, etc. Movie seats are UNCOMFORTABLE. So maintaining any sort of intimate contact for any extended period of time is painful because ultimately you run the risk of thinking "hmmmm my arm/hand/neck/butt hurts and I need to move, but I don't want him to think I'm trying to move away from him....so what am I to do?!?!?!" I've had this happen to me way too many times and in the interest of not giving the wrong signals, I end up staying in the one uncomfortable position for the duration of a 2.5 hour movie. Not fun. Honestly, if a girl is into you, she's going to be into you regardless of what moves you decide to bust during a movie date. Just be yourself. If she isn't into you because you didn't put your arm around her in a movie, that's fickle and you don't need to be with her anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
pandagirl Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 Holding hands on a first date? Not sure women are receptive to that. That's a good way to loose out on a 2nd date. Psh. I had a first date last week that resulted in hand holding. I loved i! Link to post Share on other sites
cbreitel Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 Psh. I had a first date last week that resulted in hand holding. I loved i! Your date was ballsier than me. Some men are much more comfortable taking such risks. I'm well aware of that but I'm not one of them. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 These movie threads remind me of "The Summer of '42". Just casually reach over and take her hand. Do Not and I repeat Do Not, grope her! Link to post Share on other sites
DarkestDreams Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 Never knew you were supposed to do anything at the movies aside from watching the movie. Exactly. I'm such a big fan of movies, that whenever I go to the theater I'm actually just interested in watching the movie, not dodge the guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Bells Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 Psh. I had a first date last week that resulted in hand holding. I loved i! No offense, but that would indicate your a bit too needy. :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 No offense, but that would indicate your a bit too needy. :-) Huh??? What makes you say that? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 Huh??? What makes you say that? Boys and girls don't touch each other unless they have to. Cooties are everywhere! Link to post Share on other sites
tkgirl Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 These movie threads remind me of "The Summer of '42". Just casually reach over and take her hand. Do Not and I repeat Do Not, grope her! what about "do not grope... her HAND"! I seriously had a guy do that to me on a "movie date"... I think it was our second date... I definitely know it was our LAST date! seriously, it was like this guy was having sex with my arm... like they should be smoking cigarettes afterwards! LOL! it was waaaay creepy! and it was really too bad because I did like the guy! Link to post Share on other sites
pandagirl Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 No offense, but that would indicate your a bit too needy. :-) Oh man, no offense taken, if you only knew me in real life, you'd think the exact opposite. He took MY hand and I liked it. Big whoop. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 what about "do not grope... her HAND"! I seriously had a guy do that to me on a "movie date"... I think it was our second date... I definitely know it was our LAST date! seriously, it was like this guy was having sex with my arm... like they should be smoking cigarettes afterwards! LOL! it was waaaay creepy! and it was really too bad because I did like the guy! Haha...that's exactly like "Summer of '42". The guy kept squeezing the girl's arm, thinking it was her breast! Link to post Share on other sites
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