Thinking about him too much

[RcBunnys2]

I wasn't quite sure where to put this so I will just plop it in this section and see what happens.

 

At the beginning of this month I had yet another "break up". I have been dating random guys off and on since the beginning of the year, not knowing what i really want. I know it's normal to not know what you want. Lately I have been thinking about my ex a lot though. We are still acquaintances but don't talk too much now. We broke up for good in early January. He was my first and only serious boyfriend. I didn't really think of him too much until just recently after this latest break up. I am not sure if I miss him or just miss what we had, I have just been thinking about it a lot. Thinking things like if we stayed together we would have been together for a year in just over a month from now.

 

I am in a weird position in my own head here, so I thought I would post it and see what people thought.

[Midas]

I still think about my ex-fiancé...but nowhere nearly as much as I used to. I definitely missed what we had, but unfortunately, her perception of the relationship turned extremely negative. It has taken me a LONG ass time to get over her. Moving on sooner is probably the best thing.

[babydreamer]

Actually, the people you love will always be with you throughout your life. Its a good thing because they help you grow wiser. Even to this day, I still think about my 10 years ago relationship with my first love. Yes, sometimes I wonder WHAT IF? But that doesn't change the fact that it's already over and time to move on. Why not treasure those good memories; wishing happiness for that person.

 

Thinking about how good you guys had it but then you have to look forward and hope to find a relationship that good is better than to look back. And I truly wish that perfect person walks into your life soon

[belocchoc129]

I think it depends on the reason of the break-up. You may be obsessed with the thought WHAT IF (such as what if we didn't break up? What if we were still together, stuff like that) and it makes you find it hard to forget him. The solution is trying to answer the question WHAT IF and face with that, trying to convince yourself that whatever if happens, it's already been over. (I did try it once. I liked that guy for too long and never had any courage to tell him. So my mind was kinda stuck with the phrase WHAT IF which made me feel impossible to forget him. I decide to tell him after that long though I know rejection is 99%. He was totally surprised as I expected. He finally said he would most likely end up hurting me more if we became anything more than friends. It's a good way of rejection. Now I'm finally over it and be happy with a new one now).

Hope you'll get over it too

[xBellax]

being thrown out of the relationship comfort zone does make you look back and question if breaking up was the right thing to do. you wouldn't have broken up in the first place if it wasn't the right thing to do for yourself.

[RcBunnys2]

When we broke up, it was HIM who broke up with ME. Just thought I'd throw that out there....

 

Thanks for the advice.

 

So, now.... I left on vacation a couple weeks ago, a road trip. The whole time all I could do was think, since there isn't much else to do on the road. I kept thinking about him that first day on the road. We hadn't even have talked in weeks. The next day I woke up and looked at my phone (I sleep with it on silent) and saw that he had called me a bunch of times and had a text message from him saying "Text me". I tried calling him back but it went straight to voicemail. I had all day to think about why he was calling and eventually got ahold of him. It turned out to just be something silly and we had a laugh. We had just starting making conversation when i had to get off the phone suddenly, so I told him I'd call him back. About an hour later I tried a few times but he didn't pick up, so I left a message to call me back. He never did, so I assumed he was busy. I was planning on confessing that I missed him on the call-back. Since that didn't happen, I decided to write him an email telling him I missed him and that maybe we could hang out when I got back. I waited days for a reply and finally got one. He said something like "sorry it took so long to reply. sure lets have coffee sometime and catch up". That satisfied me. So the next week (still on my vacation), I tried to start a texting conversation with him. It wasn't really working, so I gave up. I just got back home last night. I am thinking of trying to get in touch with him tomorrow but I am nervous... Like, was he just being polite when he agreed to coffee? And will he even still want to go? And if we do go, am I just going to be a blubbering mess when I try to talk?

 

So that's the story so far....