kantalek Posted October 25, 2003 Share Posted October 25, 2003 I married someone 2 years ago I met on the internet. He pulled a knife on me 29 days into the marriage. (Lesson learned obviously) The divorce was dragged out by him and cost me my life savings and more. I filed bankruptcy shortly after the divorce was granted. Here's the dilemma I face now. I have been dating someone (NOT from the internet) for 5 weeks. We are very compatible and enjoy being together, so I thought it best to tell him about my past. Now I am afraid I told him too soon. He hardly said anything to me after I told him the details, except to say it blew his mind. I have a sick feeling about this. I'm afraid he is turned off by me now. Am I being paranoid, or would I be stupid to think he doesn't view me in a negative light now? Does he think I fall for any Joe that comes along because I married someone off the internet and now he thinks he is just a notch in my lipstick case?? I guess I need a man's opinion here because all my female friends say "if he cares about you, he will not judge you" but that is easy to say... Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted October 25, 2003 Share Posted October 25, 2003 If i was him and dated for 5 weeks while enjoying the other's company and time spent, i would not be blown away by someone's past. To me, the past isn't as important as is the present or future. as long as you two share the same interests, goals, etc....i dont think there should be any reason for him to act differently around you even after telling him. You did a good thing in telling him, it's better to share with someone secrets of your past than hide it from him. HEY?! you cant hide it forever right? you have to tell them sooner or later. If telling him makes him think differently of you, then he is not worth it. He doesnt deserve someone as good as you if he makes judgements on you based on your past. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted October 25, 2003 Share Posted October 25, 2003 So you met someone on the internet? Big deal. If that's the worst thing in your past, good lord, you're sound as a pound. I don't see why he's making a big deal about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted October 26, 2003 Share Posted October 26, 2003 People are weird. Some people handle disclosures quite well, others don't. This is one you never really had to mention. By the way, if you were only married 29 days, it would have been a very simple matter to get a divorce. If it cost you your life savings, you had a demon for an attorney or you didn't have much life savings. I am very sorry this happened to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Guidette82 Posted October 26, 2003 Share Posted October 26, 2003 I can say this...if you told him YOU were the one who pulled the knife on your ex...THEN I would give him all the reason in the world to back out...but that was NOT the case. You made a mistake in your life and you realize it now..you learned from it. I told my boyfriend BEFORE our first date that my ex used me for my money and put me into major debt. I'd rather know BEFORE I like the guy that he is a wimp and is gonna back out because I admitted to a mistake. If this guy likes YOU, he will accept it...you are being honest and that's the start of a GOOD relationship if he can handle it. Don't feel bad..if you didn't tell him now, he might have just walked away later, when you REALLY cared for him. You did the right thing. Hope everything works out for you...and if he DOES decide not to see you because of this, he is a waste of time and doesn't deserve you..GOOD LUCK! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts