Nuts about me but just wants friends??

[chimpy]

I met a girl on a social networking site about a week ago. We met online just in an effort to find running buddies. She is single but said on our second day of talking that she wasn't looking for anything romantic. I told her that I was and that it would be great to meet her single friends. She said fine. Even though we found each other on a social networking site just to go running, we have been talking everyday on every other possible topic. She texts me in the afternoon everyday since, I don't usually initiate it. This is the first girl that's ever done that for me. She doesn't talk about boyfriends or just being friends or anything. We hit it off real well. I just keep thinking back to how she said she didn't want anything romantic. Also, she sometimes mentions how she wants me to help her lose weight by going running together and everything, which gives me the impression that she might think of me as a personal trainer or something. But then again 99% of what we talk about is just chit-chat: movies, family, etc... and this is daily.

 

Since she takes so much initiative (calling everyday) and talking back and forth so much it seems like she is into me, which would be great because I am into her. But I keep thinking back to how she said on the second day of talking that she didn't want romance. I want to think that maybe she said that just because we didn't know nearly as much about each other as we do now, but I just don't know. Thoughts? She has sent me three sexually suggestive photos, but she thinks she is fat (she is not at all) and is so self-conscious about how she appears. So even though I'd be happy just to have her as FWB, she seems really unsure about herself physically, which would be a block to having sex I assume.

 

Thoughts? Thanks.

[LucreziaBorgia]

It sounds like she wants you to be her cuddle buddy friend guy who will help her get 'hot' so that she can go after men she wants to be with romantically and sexually.

 

All of this chit-chat is stuff that you shouldn't be doing. It isn't a marker that she is 'into' you. She is putting you in a 'girlfriend' role, and the more you act like the 'girlfriend' the more cemented you are in the friend zone.

 

I would make it perfectly clear that you want sex or romance. Period. If she pulls the 'friend' card, tell her you aren't interested in that and cut her off.

 

You won't be losing anything. Sticking around is no more likely to result in what you want than walking away and cutting her off.

[seibert253]

Been exactly where you are. I was her "best guy friend", but I was totally in love with her. I did everything for her, dates, flowers, special excursions, etc. Then one night I thought I'm going to go for it. Went in for the kiss and she turned her head. Man I was devestated. "Wasted" a year hoping her feelings would change and she would see the love I had for her. We were so close everyone thought we were boyfriend and girlfriend. Several years later I was speaking with a couple of our female friends. They told me they always wished their boyfriends treated them as well as I treated her. When I told them she and I were never "seeing each other", but just friends, they couldn't believe it. Two of them told me they wanted to go out with me, but didn't because they didn't want to "break us up". Damn!

 

What to do? Man I don't know. You can continue the path your on and end up frustrated and hurt. She may develope feelings for you, but I doubt it. Or, you can sit her down and tell her exactly how you feel. If she does not feel the same, you're going to scare her off. Then you won't have to worry about her texting you every day.

 

Don't know man, flip a coin on this one. Let fate play her card.

[chimpy]

Thanks for the responses, I am glad to hear advice from those that have been there done that.

 

Yeah, I've been thinking about just being assertive about this. We haven't met yet (busy schedules) so I will spend at least a good day with her and feel things out. I am also going to cut back on the texts and everything. Just text her to ask if she wants to hang out, then meet, and then see how things jive when we meet. Then once the initial shyness of first meeting goes away, I'll go in for the kill and just say it kindly but assertively: relationship, sex, or nothing. I am so for sure not going to get myself ANOTHER coffee-platonic-buddy situation. That annoys the living daylights out of me!! It's right up there with being a third wheel.

 

Thanks again for the advice.

[sumdude]

I met a girl on a social networking site about a week ago. We met online just in an effort to find running buddies. She is single but said on our second day of talking that she wasn't looking for anything romantic.

 

Which part of this do you not understand?

 

You met on a social networking site.. meaning she's looking for friends. She even says that's all she wants. Her behavior is that of a friend calling and talking with another friend. Seems to me you're setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration trying to turn this water into wine. Be her buddy and that's it. Don't buy her dinners, set up 'dates' etc etc. If you can hang with her like a buddy then she could be helpful in getting you introduced to other women. Don't mess up a potential helper in your romantic life by wanting something else from her. Having women friends is great, you can learn so much and it always looks good to the other ladies to see a man with a woman even if they're not romantically involved.