WantOut Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 Hi This is my first post here. Will try to be as brief as possible. Been married for 18 years and we have a daughter, aged 13. Ever since I got pregnant with my daughter, my H has not touched me or had sex with me...yeah...14 years and no sex!!!! I have been putting up with this for the sake of my daughter and keeping this family together. Not only does H not care about me or shown me any love, he has not provided for the family although i know he loves his daughter. He never remembers my birthday, anniversary, no gifts, no holidays, no kisses, no holding hands, but giving me countless worries about debts through his gambling habits. I work very hard and i support my daughter. Thank God that I have a good paying job so i do not have to depend on him for a single cent! He works overseas and comes back 2 or 3 times a month. We hardly talk, we dont go out, we are no longer sharing a bed. The final straw is when i discovered he has been patronising prostitutes! In the past, I had always initiated sex but he never was interested. After many futile attempts and he not wanting to discuss or seek medical help, I have given up hope. I am pretty and look young and many guys were after me but I never paid them any attention but i cannot understand why he chooses to be like this to me. I feel i deserve a 2nd chance at love but not with him. I need to feel alive again. I hate the sight of him, cant stand him. I never wronged him, i have been a good wife and mother but he's just an ******* waiting to be pampered but he will never accord me the same treatment. Lately, I am contemplating divorce. I realise i cant spend the rest of my life with an ******* like that who doesnt love me or pay any attention to me at all. I would rather have my freedom to enjoy my life, perhaps find a new love than be stuck in a rut that has made me so miserable for the last 14 years! Enough is enough. But at the same time, I cant help feeling sorry for him. Why do I hate him so much yet, still feel sorry for him?? I worry about his old age, about who's gonna take care of him...am i mad?! Please share your thoughts with me...i can't take this anymore. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
mark982 Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 i can't see why you've stayed with him for this long. 14 yrs w/ no sex,he's been getting it somewhere that's for sure.i wouldn't even tell him you're leaving,just let him come home to a empty house. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 Why are you investing your "life energy" and time into this @sshat? You've only got about 25,000 days in your life! Why waste one more with this clown? You've already spent 14 years with him! Get busy living your life Link to post Share on other sites
seibert253 Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 Should have kicked him to the curb a long time ago. You and your daughter will do fine. You deserve much better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author WantOut Posted May 26, 2009 Author Share Posted May 26, 2009 Thanks for your comments, pretty much the kind of things I want to hear, that there is no use of saving this M at all. I dont know why I didnt do it earlier, guess I was stupid and kept hoping things will be better, that he will turn over a new leaf, child is still young, blah ,blah...He is clueless as to what I am contemplating but I cant leave like that, the house is mine too. Guess I need to plan my exit carefully. Link to post Share on other sites
ebedmelech Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 WantOut If your husband has been patronizing hookers, it is a blessing he did not have sex with you. He serves no purpose at all in the marriage from what I see. He does not even help provide. I know we love our lousy spouses even when they mistreat us. But let the hookers provide for him in his old age. That is who will provide. Also, please don't sleep with him. You do want to protect your sexual health. You owe him nothing, NOTHING !!!! Well now I must go deal with my own mess. You take care. Link to post Share on other sites
DJMarky Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 He sounds like a complete douche. 14 years no sex? I couldn't last a day when I was with my exs, and it would usually be 5-6 times a day! Not sure how old this guy is, but I can't see myself never wanting to have sex. You sound like a good catch, attractive, own house, intelligent. Go find a guy who will appreciate these assets as well as satisfy your needs in the bedroom. Wow, 14 years no sex. Not sure how you did it. That is a deal breaker right there, then you add prostitutes. Leave now. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Guess I need to plan my exit carefully. Indeed you do! I'd strongly suggest that you interview a few divorce lawyers, and hire the one with whom you feel most comfortable. Wishing you an uneventful divorce...and a long, HAPPY, LOVE-FILLED life, thereafter. Link to post Share on other sites
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