amanhattangirl Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 Hi everyone, Thank you for reading this - I am making myself crazy worrying about this situation. To explain my problem, I have to provide a little bit of history. . . When I moved into my apartment last fall I became friendly with my next door neighbor. We have adjacent deck space, are the same age, and - it turns out - have a lot of shared interests. Eventually he got my number and we begun spending time together every so often. It is always just the two of us - he never invited his roommate along. We typically chat over drinks or meals and he always insists on picking up the tab. I really care for him and, based on his body language (how close we stand, eye contact, etc) I was convinced this was mutual. We also are super careful to avoid physical contact, out of some annoying respect to each other. (My new resolution is to break this habit.) The problem is due to something that happened a few weeks ago. He invited me over for a glass of wine spontaneously one night. We had a great conversation and it turned into him asking if I'd like to watch a movie. It was really the perfect night until I headed out. As I was leaving, I was fumbling with the latch on the door. He was behind me and said something. When I turned around he was stepping towards me with his arm outstretched. This is where I got myself in trouble. Without thinking, I reacted by moving towards him in a similar manner. Of course, he was trying to unlock the door rather than kiss me. Incredibly embarrassing. Now he seems to be avoiding me and I am kind of upset. I have been trying to pretend it was nothing and give him time. I haven't given up entirely, but I am trying to force myself to date other people. One of the first times we hung out there was an awkward end-of-the-night moment where I should have kissed him, but I chickened out. I hope it isn't too late now. . . I can't figure out this situation and what to do. He definitely should know how I feel. Any words of wisdom or insight? I feel like I am standing a little too close to see what is going on. I really hope this is not doomed to be a platonic relationship. (Sorry this turned into a novel!) Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 One of you is going to have to take the initiative and just go for it. It sounds like it's going have to be you. If two overly timid people get together, you end up with situations line this. Just go for it. You've got nothing to lose and so much to gain. There's always the alcohol scape goat. Just have a few drinks and kiss him. If for some God-forsaken reason he's taken aback by this, then at least you know he's not into you. And you can blame it on the alcohol to boot! Link to post Share on other sites
Author amanhattangirl Posted May 27, 2009 Author Share Posted May 27, 2009 Thanks!! You are completely right. I have spent months trying to figure out how he feels, but there is really no way to know other than to take action. In the past, we stopped spending time together when one or the other began dating. We are currently both single, so now is the right time - I guess I will be the brave one. I don't want to be "just" friends with him, so this is for the best. By the way, I LOVE the alcohol scapegoat idea. Very crafty. . . =) Link to post Share on other sites
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